About a year ago my mom remarried. Ever since we haven't been getting along very well. We don't fight all the time, but we do disagree a lot. She's neurotic about her faith, and preaches to me a lot about what I do wrong and what I should do. (ex: I don't listen to Gospel music. She thinks that's all you should listen to. She thinks you should go to church twice a day, I think once a week is plenty.) I really want to get along with my mother, but without having to hear her preach about everything that I'm doing being wrong. What should I do?
2006-06-28 15:46:41 · 17 answers · asked by Kendra J 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I am 14 years old
2006-06-28 15:51:53 · update #1
She's got to let you find answers for yourself.
Did someone do the same thing to her when she was growing up? If so, is she preaching the exact same thing as she was taught? (Was the advice that good that it worked?) If not, she didn't turn out so bad, did she? (Tell her.)
I was forced to go to church every week - just once - LOL, I can't imagine what it would have been like to go twice a day!!! With all due respect, "Oh, my God!!" (Anyway) I didn't find God until I left the church -- He's out in the real world, not in a tiny building of narrow beliefs...only.
It's hard dealing with parents, I sympathize. You have your own ideas, questions, and you can't fully learn until you find out for yourself. I don't know what else to tell you. I lived for the day I got out on my own -- and I didn't turn out bad.
May you find Peace, always.
2006-06-28 16:01:29 · answer #1 · answered by cosmosclara 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When I was 12 my mom remarried. We got along horribly after that. I had the hardest time and we got even farther apart the older I got. Then, the day before my 18th birthday she found out she had four brain tumors and was going to die. She died 7 months later and I never did make up with her.
I really regret not trying to get along with her more, so if you can... try to get along. You will be grown-up very soon and will be able to do anything you want then. I know it seems far away now, but it really isn't so long.
Good luck with your mom and hopefully she will let up on the church. I agree that everyday is way too much. Maybe if you talked to her she would understand. I wish I had tried that more with my mom.
2006-06-28 23:06:42 · answer #2 · answered by Wendy S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the older you get the more you and your parents are going to disagree on things its best just to try and work throught them, I dont think there is any specefic advice that can be given. I mean sometimes the parents are wrong ya know i think they have a hard time dealing with the fact that we may have different views than them when they raised us, its kind of a adjustment that everyone has to go through.
To tell you the truth I dont think anybody should live with there parents after the age of 17 :)
im not telling you to move out just take some time to talk to her, it may do more than you think it will.
PEACE!!!
2006-06-28 22:53:27 · answer #3 · answered by Real_Talk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's great that you want to have a closer relationship with your mom. My opinion is that you should find a time to sit down with your mom and honestly discuss the things that are bothering you. Don't be afraid to compromise. Tell her how you feel, between the two of you I'm sure you'll find something that will keep the peace.
2006-06-28 22:50:59 · answer #4 · answered by tinydancer42001 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First realize that it's natural for your and your mom's expectations to get further and further apart as you grow older. Also know that changes in her life, such as a new relationship, also can cause her to displace certain fears and feelings on you. In other words she thinks you feel a certain way about something or her relationship, even if you don't but she's got in in her head that you do so it's the same as if you really did. This doesn't take care of your problem but at times when you feel like getting angry and feel you can't win try and see her side and rather than confront her talk to her with respect even when you feel you are right and she is wrong.
You are not a failure or sinful for feeling the way you do however a lot of Christians get very demanding in exercising their faith and as your mother she feels a spiritual obligation to say force you to obey by her rules and standards. Your approach to her should be, In Love and as a respectful daughter, something like this. Mom, You and I both believe in God and I know you don't like that I don't enjoy gospel music like you do and I know you are worried about the music I listen to but remember no one is perfect and yet God forgives us all. It is not what you do that condemns you but the fact that you don't believe in Jesus Blood. I believe Jesus died for me like he did you and that is what saves me. That should be your number one concern. Please respect that I am growing and changing and like different things than you do but that doesn't make me a sinner. I'm a sinner because I was born in sin. Know that even if I don't go to church every day but only once a week I love God in my heart, like you do. Trust me enough to give me a little freedom like God gives to his children. Freedom to worship him the way we feel right.
It might not work but then it might open up a new approach for you to use. Try to put yourself in her shoes and ask her to try and put yourself in your shoes.
2006-06-28 22:59:28 · answer #5 · answered by alagk 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a sit down talk with her. Tell her you are you and you like religion but not as much as she does. Tell her you would like for her to talk to you about what you did wrong, instead of preaching to you about it. Tell her you'd like to count her as a best friend, but have a hard time with the way she is treating you. Basically tell her your truths about her. Tell her what she needs to hear. She maybe into her religion for another reason all together. Sometimes parents burry themselves in things because of maritial problems or life problems.
I'm sorry for your problems. I share them too. Good Luck!
2006-06-28 22:52:49 · answer #6 · answered by ebay_convert 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your 14 well that explains alot.You are growing up and trying to become your own person.I hated gospel music when I was your age,too.But know I love it.And do you know why I hated it Because my parents wanted me to listen to it.Don't worry this is jst a part of growing up.
2006-06-29 11:00:11 · answer #7 · answered by m_l_p73 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is still your mom. She is giving you a place to live. However, she probably feels that you are being tempted by friends and the devil. However, I can see from what you wrote, your mom needs to take her religion down a few notches. I would pray to God that your mom needs to be less of a religious zealot.
2006-06-28 22:52:32 · answer #8 · answered by SAHM/Part Time Tutor 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how old are you, if you are 18, you may get a job and to stay away from home, if not the get extra activities like sport or something like that, this way your mom wont tell you anything and you will be out of home and distracting on something else
2006-06-28 22:54:27 · answer #9 · answered by Maveric 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how old you are, but if you are of age, move out. Your relationship will get so much better!
You may even go to church with her once a day (UGH!).
2006-06-28 22:51:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋