Can anone tell me where I can find a place online to talk about why I put my baby up for adoption?

Answer 1

"RealMomof4's" answer is nonsense. Adopted children do very well, and I'm sure yours will, too. Here is proof:

Benefits of adoption (scroll down the page to the second article):
http://www.lifeissues.org/connector/display.asp?page=03oct.htm

Famous people who were adopted:
http://www.lifeissues.org/chosenchildren/adoption.html

Here is an online forum where you can talk to other birthmoms:

http://birthparents.bethany.org

I admire you for your courage and selflessness! You are an wonderful example of a truly loving mother.

Answer 2

i asked my adoptee friend and she said these two: http://groups.msn.com/AdoptionInsights and http://groups.msn.com/adoptese/messageboard.msnw -- your loss won't be minimized here and there are no lies here that you will 'get over it' as you'll be told in other places.

why did you put your baby up for adoption? very few adoptees feel anything other than "thrown away" by their natural parents. and the line "she loved you so much she gave you away" only causes confusion in a child who believes then that anyone who loves him a lot will leave him -- big rejection issues.

i'm sorry to hear that you felt you had to give up your baby. you probably would have been a great mother. instead, you were possibly used as an incubator by an agency that made big money and a couple who wanted "a child of their own" but now don't have one and don't realize that the birthbond is forever.

Nancy Verrier states: "The statistics are staggering. Although adoptees make up only 2 to 3 percent of the population, statistics consistently indicate that 30 to 40 percent of those children found in special schools, juvenile hall and residential treatment centers are adopted. Adopted children have a higher incidence of juvenile delinquency, sexual promiscuity and running away from home than their non-adopted peers. They also have more difficulty in school, both academically and socially. What is it which places these children at a higher psychological risk than the general population?" The answer is adoption.

And read what "Elephantgirl" writes in her article "My Real Mother": http://www.originscanada.org/adoptees/elephantgirl.html

my best friend is a recovering adoptee, soon to be a former adoptee if all goes well and she is "adopted back" by her real parents again. even raised in a good home, she wanted her real parents all her life.

Ask yourself: Once your baby was born and in your arms, did you want to keep your baby? If you did, and you found you were given no resources to, no chance to, or if adopters were already there in the delivery room, then it was a COERCED surrender and NOT by choice. You were exploited and used. There are over 330x as many infant adoptions per-capita in the U.S. as in Australia: why? because we don't protect our young moms against this type of violence.

GREAT ARTICLE by a good friend: "What Baby Brokers Won't Tell You About Adoptees and the Truth", by Anne Patterson http://www.originscanada.org/adoptees/adoptees_and_truth.html

as for what "facts74" says, that list of people who were adopted includes lots of step-parent adoptions (such as Bill Clinton), people who were foster-kids and NOT legally adopted, plus historical figures who were adopted AS ADULTS. also, the study of adopted adolescents that the Seach Institute did in 1994 was discredited for inherently invalid research flaws that the authors themselves have admitted to. an adoptee's life can fall apart AFTER adolescence as well. PLUS you can't compare families where single mother natural families are denied adequate financial resouces and live in poverty (a human rights abuse) with wealthy families who have adopted.

I hope its not too late for you to get your baby back. if you weren't told about the statistics of serious depression, PTSD, secondary infertility, and unresolved grief/loss that endures for decades, the agency lied to you.

Answer 3

the adoption counseling center. Do a search on the internet.
If they don't have a way that makes you comfortable find another place.
I personally gave birth to two boys in six years. Inbetween them we adopted a baby girl. Her birth mother loved her enough to give her up. She didn't have a way to take care of her. I love my daughter because she might not be the child of my uterous, but she is the child of my heart. I can't imagine life without her. I just say that so you can understand that your child will be loved.
The same daughter got pregnant and her bf turned his back on her. She kept the baby who is now five years old. It was tough going but they have made it. Not easy. Letting go of a baby is a personal choice and sometimes it is something you HAVE to do.
It is a great loss and you will experience the loss. Try to connect healthy thoughts about you letting your child go but giveing her a better place to be in life. Don't punish yourself the rest of your life. You made a decision that wasn't easy, but at the time you did what you had to do. Sometimes in life we HAVE to do things that we don't want to do. The best mother is one who can sacrifice anything to take the best care of her child. Sometimes that means letting go.

Answer 4

Look online. Call department of social services and ask them. Tell them you are pregnant / just had the baby and ask where you can go to put the baby up for adoption. Or contact your local "planned parenthood". They should be able to help you.

Answer 5

Try contacting the agency you used. They may have listings for birthparent support groups. If you'd like, you can talk to me also. I placed my baby for adoption in January to a loving home.

Answer 6

I just did a search and found this link...it looks like it might be what you are looking for. I really just wanted to tell you that whatever your reasons why, you are an extraordinarily courageous and unselfish woman. What a gift to give!! Good luck in all you do.

Answer 7

I dont know of any, but I just want to tell you how much I admire your choice. BRAVO to you. What a testimony to your character.

I am sure that it was the hardest thing you will ever do, but also the most loving.

Answer 8

No, but you can talk to me! I am an adoptee and my sister just gave up her son for adoption. Just go to my avatar to contact.

Answer 9

You shouldn't be talking to someone on line about something so personal if you're in need of some guidance you need professional help...

Answer 10

Contact Pacer. They have lots of references for groups, etc.

http://www.pacer-adoption.org/