I'm getting married in 2008. My sister and I are at complete odds. She looks at me and tells me she doesn't know who I am but yet when I ask her to go hang out or just call to talk to her she acts like I'm annoying her or inconviencing her. But she didn't want me in her's and has told me so she just did it because I was her sister. I'm like how can she know who I am or expect to be in the wedding if she doesn't spend time with me besides when the whole family is together? I've tried for several months now to spend time with her but she alwasy makes up an excuse. She says it is my fault for my wedding being messed up by her not being in it. And its my fault for her not talking to me or spending time with me. I kind of want her in it but I know I don't want her as my matron of honor. I mean my fiance's little sister will call me out of the blue or IM online and we'll talk about anything and everything and she's 12. My sister and I are seven years apart. It just hurts.
2006-06-28 15:30:11 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Do what your gut says. Your wedding is about YOU and your fiance. If having her in the wedding means that you'll have to worry about her and her behavior on the day of the wedding, or at the shower, or rehearsal dinner, etc etc, than it's not worth it. I am estranged from my brother, and I don't regret not having him in my wedding. When the time is right for your sister and you to make amends, it will happen, but trying to force it at your wedding is not the answer.
p.s I also put an old "best friend" in my wedding cause I thought it was the right thing to do. A week before, she backed out and left me hanging with the cost of her flowers, dress, shoes, meal, etc. My gut told me not to include her.
2006-06-28 15:34:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
SOunds like she is being a bit jealous and quite the primadonna. I say, giver her some space and go on with the wedding planning without her. Let her know that you can do it on your own and that you don't need her. You might want her to be in it and a more active part of it, but you don't need her. 2008 is a long time away, so you never know what can happen between now and then. I'm sure if things got better close up to the time you could find a way to have her in the wedding party without screwing up your plans. According to Miss Manners, you are not obligated to have her in your wedding just because you were in hers too. So leave her,find peace with your plans and don't let her rain on your parade!
2006-06-28 15:36:35 · answer #2 · answered by Sharp Marble 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, it's YOUR big day. Nobody else's. I don't think you'd really be comfortable forcing her to be you Matron of Honor. So don't do it. Invite her, of course. But choose someone else to stand up with you. Of course this is a wedding that isn't going to happen for almost two years, things may change. Make up your mind by the time you have to order the dresses. If nothing changes then just put her on the invite list not as your cherished MOH.
2006-06-28 15:37:13 · answer #3 · answered by Fexy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You aren't getting married for 2 years, it's way too soon for you to be worrying about who's in the wedding. Don't ask anyone until about 6 months before the wedding. You can try working on your relationship with your sister in the meantime. Good luck.
2006-06-28 16:49:46 · answer #4 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be careful not to turn into a Bridezilla. It is very stressful planning a wedding. Take a deep breath and think about what you are arguing about is it really that important? I have been married for 13 years this year and everyone I know doesn't speak to some one in their wedding party anymore. I bet you will be still speaking to her. Is she left out, Married, it is hard to let someone be the center of attention, jealousy? Good luck I hope you can hash it out!
2006-06-28 15:40:36 · answer #5 · answered by Mommytothreein20months 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She just needs a little more time to grow up. And ask your parents if they think she's smoking pot. And yes, plan on her being in the wedding but as a junior brides maid. Then if she shows her butt at the last minute her part in the wedding party won't really be missed. And yay for you you're getting married!!
2006-07-05 03:53:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry you're having issues with your sister.
Remember though, that your wedding is for surrounding yourself with people who love you and want the best for you, people who support you, that you want to share this joy in your life with.
Sounds to me as though your sister would not fit into any of those categories, and would probably not be happy no matter what place you gave her in your wedding.
If she needs an assignment, set her next to your mother with a box of tissues and tell her to hand one to mom when she needs it - moms always cry when their babies get married.
Keep your bridal party to people you have strong and happy connections with - you don't need the negativity, and there are no rules stating that you have to have her in yours just because she had you in hers. She might think there are, but she's wrong.
2006-06-28 15:41:49 · answer #7 · answered by Crooks Gap 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I desire extra of a lawn form marriage ceremony... like at a relatively exceptional southern plantation, have the marriage ceremony cerimony within the within mid-day, with the reception external within the night time while it cools down. I desire chinese language (or is it eastern?) lantern-esque lights with yellow roses and accents of orange with the foremost colour being white. only some folks from each and every facet of the household (like 15-25 each and every). and the meals will likely be established like an stylish buffet. thats all i acquired up to now, however i believe it's going to be the excellent marriage ceremony for me (if my long run husband likes it too).
2016-08-31 08:44:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like to me that you 2 are just completely different..Maybe she is a little jealous of you for some reason.
Maybe she is jealous over the relationship w/ the fiance's niece?
I would lay it out on the line..and if she is cool w/ it,,,I would let her be in the wedding............if she acted all bit#chy and stuff about it...I would not have her there..............
2006-06-28 15:34:52 · answer #9 · answered by SouthernKNC 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no offense but your sister sounds like a biatch... if i were you, i would NOT have her in the wedding... yes she is family but like you said she acts like you are a stranger to her. instead, ask a close friend to be in the wedding who actually gives a damn, ya know? my best friend is like a sister to me... maybe you have a friend you could say the same thing about? if you put her in the wedding, i think she would continue to act childish and still make you miserable. just remember whatever you decide stick to your guns and have no regrets...sounds like she's got some personal issues to work out and she's taking it out on you...misery loves company...
i'm sorry to hear your having this trouble, good luck!
2006-06-28 15:37:55 · answer #10 · answered by hatianhottie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋