It is wrong to still have some hard feelings toward my dad for not being around, even though it has improved?

Answer 1

It's natural to harbour feelings, but remember how much God loves us and how forgiving he is. If he can forgive each and every one of us for some pretty terrible things we might have done, surely, you can forgive your dad and enjoy the rest of your lives! Sorry for preaching.

Answer 2

Does it benefit you to nurture the hard feelings? Make you feel better to continue holding that against him? You say that the situation has improved, so he's obviously trying.

I'm not saying to just forget everything you've felt over the years, but that was then, this is now, and he might get hit by a bus tomorrow, so enjoy what you've got with an open heart.

Keep in mind that he's human, too. Sometimes humans get all wrapped up in their sorrows and griefs and day-to-day lives and forget what is important. His absence wasn't about you, wasn't about whether he loved you or missed you, it was about him not looking at what was really important in life. It happens, and it will happen to you at some point in the future, too.

There will always be factors that you'll never know about that could have kept him away, too. Perhaps things between he and your mother that will never be any of your business.

I know it's hard, but cut him a break. It at least looks as though he's finally come to his senses and re-thought his priorities. It doesn't cost you a thing to be forgiving and open, but keeping the barrier up between you could cost a lot more than you can see right now.

Sounds like his love is there for you now, even if it wasn't for a while. Embrace it and open your heart.

Answer 3

absolutely not i still have hard feelings against my dad because he was never around i seen him for the first time when i was 26 years old and i had to hunt him down. he never once tried to get in touch with me, when i finally did catch up with him of course he was living in another state and had a new wife and new step kids which really hurt me because why couldn't he be their for me his own flesh in blood. he saids he loves me and always has but the question in my mind "if you love me as much as you say u do than why couldn't you come and find me after all these years. i had to find him first and i've never met him before in my whole life" i don't stay in contact with him anymore bcuz i just feel like he abandoned me and that's what hurts the most.

Answer 4

It would depend on his reason for not being around. Was he working long hours to make ends meet? Does his job require him to travel out of town or on long business trips? Of was he out drinking and partying with his friends?

If it's work related, you should realize that he was working hard to make sure he could provide for you the things you would need. You should not hold this against him. Appreciate what he's done for you.

If he was always out with his friends, then you need to tell him that he really missed a lot of your childhood but reassure him it's not to late to start and you would like to spend more time with him.

I wish you the best.

Answer 5

my dad raised me and i never seen my mom till i was older, now I have a great relationship with her wouldn't trade it for nothing, i forgave her and moved on, if hes trying to make it up to u let him u wont regret it, at least u tried, i would rather have my mom now as an adult then i did as a kid, a child hood only last 18 years ur an adult for many more then that, my brothers never forgave her and they lost out on alot of memorys and a great mother.let him know how u feel but let him tell u how he feels also,, it will help...

Answer 6

Well My Father left me when i was 1 becasue he found out that I am deaf. and when not see him for 18 years he married my mom again met me and shocked that i can talk and hear with my hearing aids and then later they divorce and he toldme make my choice i chose live eith my mom and now he think that I am momma boy. wrong utnil i was 21 i finally told mom time for me to move out and then I try to find my dad and try to tell him but nope and later he found out that I am marrried and have 2 kids and guess what he missed alot. He though that I still living with mom even if i am 35 now. sad. It up to dad to show it. I missed my father so much even if I love him so much he has nothing to do with me. My father passed away feb 2006 before he died he told my uncle to tell me that Tell my Son that I love him so much and It has nothing to do with you. It me and I made this choice and I missed out your life and Now Dying cancer I get what I get. Remember son I do love you. I wish to hear from him. I wish he told me need to see me.

But I do love my father alot even if not in my life much. smiling.

Answer 7

I don't think so. You're entitled to your feelings. You probably have a lot of unresolved issues with him, and him being around more or whatever isn't going to take away that hurt.

Answer 8

it not wrong but try to think of it as him trying to make things right now and just take it day by day

Answer 9

let it go so you can move on......life is to short......as you get older one becomes more understanding of the parents decisions....you should anyway...I not saying they are right but you make life hard for yourself.....have bitter and/or anger in your heart......try and move past it for yourself.....