my son had been adopted by his paternal g-pa (not by my choice) .i was in prison at the time & im looking into gaining custody back. what should i do?
2006-06-28 14:41:48 · 30 answers · asked by shutupncomehere 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Tell the courts that g-pa is not in his right mind to care for your
son , prove to the courts that you are now a changed women don"t screw up and end up in prison again good luck sister
god bless you on your journey to happiness,,,,
2006-06-28 14:50:24 · answer #1 · answered by bigred 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate to break it to you, but once a child is ADOPTED by someone you are considered no longer their parent and no longer have any rights. The only way I could explain it would be to say if you had given him up at birth and then a few years later decided you wanted him back you could not do that. The same thing applies here. Either you signed a paper allowing them to adopt him OR the court terminated your parental rights. That is the only way someone would have been able to adopt him. Realize that he is being taken care of and that you need to keep yourself clean and going in the right direction. I think the best you could hope for is to ask the person who adopted him to let you visit him now and then.
2006-06-28 22:16:57 · answer #2 · answered by glover92102 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he was legally adopted then you are out of luck. When an adoption goes through the biological parents no longer have any right to the child. How was he adopted if it wasn't your choice unless the state terminated your rights? Then that would mean you were found in serious neglect of your child and probably shouldn't have him anyway. Whatever you do, you need to put your child first. If he has been with his gpa for a long time maybe that is where he belongs.
2006-06-28 22:00:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gee - I think I would begin by thinking "what is in the best interests of my son?" Instead of sounding selfish and blaming grandpa because it was "not by my choice" , you should be thankful someone was there to be in your son's life while you were doing whatever it was that messed it up for him. Foster care is no picnic - maybe grandpa is better.
Mistakes aren't undone because you served your sentence, birth parents aren't always the best parents, and if you wanted a "choice" in who was caring for your son you should have thought twice before you screwed up your chance to have a say. Or perhaps you are one of the innocently imprisoned - It's possible, but unlikely.
Assuming you have really "changed", what do you have to offer your son that he can't get from you through regular overnights and joint custody? Are you ready for full custody of a son? What if he is comfortable where he is? What if he doesn't want to be with you yet? Would you be so selfish as to disrupt his life to satisfy yours?
This is a pretty heavy question for a truly caring parent to be asking on a "chat" type website. If you have to ask strangers for answers, you are not thinking this out very well.
2006-06-28 21:56:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm so sorry. Before you take any legal steps to regain custody of your child, you must be able to tell the Judge that you have stabilized your life. Do you have a decent job, health insurance, a car, someone to watch the child when you work, can you afford to feed and clothes two people, do you go to church, what kind of support system do you have. Is there any way you can have a relationship with the grandparents and gradually get to know your son again. God bless all of you. It's going to be very hard for the grandparents to give up the child, too. A compromise would be good-could they watch him while you work.
2006-06-28 21:53:10 · answer #5 · answered by Darby 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well go and see a lawyer. However, if you ask me it's not fair to your son or his grandparents. First it will be a tough battle. The courts are going to see you, who never raised your son because you were in "prison" for god knows what reason, and second, your son has been raised by his grandparents for how long. However, if you were only in prison for a short amount of time, it is not too unfair to ask for him back, and if you were in prison for something only minor, it might not be that hard of a fight. But you need to take your sons best interest to heart before your own. But I don't know your case, and couldn't actually help you.
2006-06-28 21:50:30 · answer #6 · answered by gaea08 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Em. Although I'm a firm believer of people deserving second chances, it doesn't sound like you've thought this through. Your child is one of the lucky ones. Even though it seems like it's a family's duty to take in relatives when in need, it doesn't always happen. Your child could have ended in foster care, but he didn't and that's something you have to thank his grandpa for.
In your question, you didn't really say that he wasn't being taken care of properly. I understand that as a mother you want to take care of your child, but I think you should think about what's best for your son. I'm sure his grandpa would allow you to visit him, and if you work hard enough, you can have a very rewarding relationship with your son, even if legally you're not the guardian.
Please think of your son. It wasn't the grandparents choice to do this. They made the best decision to take your son in. I'm sure that they weren't planning to take care of and raise a child in this stage of their lives. Really, you should be thankful.
Oh, and a bit of advice, don't be resentful towards your son's grandpa. That will only make things harder. The best thing for you to do is be smart about your son's future. You can still be a part of it, but you have to be smart about it!
Good luck and I hope this helps!
2006-06-29 02:47:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anais 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should think about your son's best interest. He is settled in a home and has his routine and sense of security which is so important to a kid his age. Why pull him out of all of that to make you feel better? Sure, you miss him. But if you love him you'll want what is best for him. Maybe you can visit him, or write him letters. You'll never win custody, and you shouldn't try.
2006-06-28 21:49:29 · answer #8 · answered by theinfalliblenena 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, depending on what you were in jail for will decide on if your ever going to get your child back. The best way to gain your child back, would be to show community service and care that would show the judge that you are responsible enough for a 5 year old.
I wish you the best of luck!
2006-06-28 21:48:46 · answer #9 · answered by pinkink : ] 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Id say start by visiting as often as you can make him get to know you as his mommy, Then once he likes you enough you can try to fight it in court, Or maybe you can settle it in a friendly matter without involving the court.
Love is stronger than any court or politics
Good luck!
2006-06-28 21:48:31 · answer #10 · answered by onaitsebas 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋