2006-06-28 14:32:26 · 14 answers · asked by valcus43 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Here's your answer, get ready, here comes a blond joke.
This Blond chick is really hard up for money, so she pleads to God "Please, God, help me! Tomorrow they'll repossess my car, my mortgage is way past due and tomorrow the bank is going to foreclose, my bank account is empty, I got fired from work today, and when I got home, all of the utilities had been cut off for non-payment. I can't even take a bath tonight. Please God, let me win the lottery tonight, I'll do anything you ask, just PLEASE, PLEASE GOD, let me win the lottery tonight please?
The next morning she wakes up just in time to see her car being towed away. There's a man in a suit on the front porch nailing up a foreclosure sign. She realizes she didn't win the lottery. So she again pleads to God, "Why? Why? I asked you so nicely to let me win the lottery. I told you I'd do anything you ask. So PLEASE tell me, WHY? WHY? Why didn't I win the lottery?
And a voice speaks from heaven and says "You need to meet me halfway, you got to buy a ticket first."
2006-06-28 15:01:03 · answer #1 · answered by Rollover Mikey 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No. And I have never heard of a lottery winner thanking god for anything nor have I ever heard of a lottery winner giving money to a church. The odds of winning the lottery are astronomical and a pipe dream. Do the smart thing and keep your money and thank God for giving you sense enough not to play the lottery in the first place.
2006-06-28 14:41:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We worked this out once in a class on the German mathematician Godel. First we had to find a way to quantify, or factor, the fact that God works in mysterious ways. The least presumptive approach was to assume He will be maximally mysterious. Then taking the "ordinary" probabilities and factoring in the "mystery" we came up with a surprising result.
Take the example of matching a 3-digit number in a drawing. The "ordinary" odds are 1 in a thousand (if you allow 000). Then, assuming He will max His mystery factor, and will fool around with all the numbers, the God calculation came to be 1 in (10X10X10). Which is 1 in a thousand again!
From this we concluded that God was telling us to stop fooling around, learn math, and forget shortcuts to getting rich. The teacher was not amused.
2006-06-28 14:53:53 · answer #3 · answered by JAT 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well maybe you have to trick God by praying that you're going to use the money for something charitable, like an orphanage. God really likes orphanages. Then, once you win, use the money to buy drugs and have orgies or whatever you plan.
2006-06-28 14:35:22 · answer #4 · answered by jc20155 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to play every time when the lottery numbers are drawn... and play the same numbers over and over and over again.
2006-06-28 14:46:28 · answer #5 · answered by Autumns Destany 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could instead sell your soul to the devil for the winning lottery numbers, are you interested?
2006-07-02 16:59:19 · answer #6 · answered by Silva 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I tell you then you must promise to split the total winnings with me after you pay all the taxes. If you don't think this is fair, then keep on loosing.
(CRV) is part of the code. That is all I will tell you for free.
2006-06-28 14:36:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gambling is against God. You can not make money from money. You have to work for the money if you do not want it taken away
2006-06-28 14:43:09 · answer #8 · answered by Layla 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not just ask Him for the numbers?
2006-06-28 15:43:57 · answer #9 · answered by Glynis 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No! read the story of Ananias and Saphira
2006-06-28 14:38:48 · answer #10 · answered by oldguy63 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋