My son is 13 now, and he DOES NOT want to go back to his dads (he has felt this way for a while now), and we have split custody, and he has the 51%, so he has more control. He does not want my son to live with me. He is a very controlling man, and gets off to controlling our son. I know that I can get a lawyer to help with this, but I do not have the $3000.00. Someone said that a paralegal would be cheaper, but the courts said that that would be illegal, because they are not a lawyer yet. Also, if the father would agree to the changes of child custody papers, then it would easy for me to file the petition myself, and go to court, and just have the judge sign the right papers. BUT, his dad will fight this till the very end, he does not like to lose control. Can anyone please help?
Legal Aid will not help me, cause we were never married, and there are no lawyers that do probono on this matter, I have checked every lawyer in phone book, and they all want 3-4 thousand upfront. Help!
2006-06-28 12:51:47 · 20 answers · asked by April 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
That is hard. It depends where you are at. Here in the state of KS at the age of 12 the child can decide who they want to be with. You should ask about that law. Im sorry to hear what your son is going threw. Tell him to be strong.
2006-06-28 12:56:44 · answer #1 · answered by mexchick316 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, the only thing now is if you could go back to the judge that granted this split custody. And why in the world did you agree to 51%.....well that's history now. Your son will probably have to testify against his father......I don't know if there has been any abuse on the father's part or what. But you really need to talk to your son about his reasons for not wanting to spend time with his father. The only other thing.....I can say is pray, pray. There's got to be a lawyer somewhere.....they don't all advertise in the phone book.....check the papers. I know on TV there are some that advertise regarding child custody....check those out. This is the only thing I can think of......hope it helps. Good luck.
2006-06-28 12:59:03 · answer #2 · answered by kitcat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK depending on where you live if in the states this is your best option go to the court house where custody was determined. go to legal aid and ask for a form i cant remember the name of it. it is the form when the child wants to be with the other parent rather then the one the judge chose. i hope this helps you if not you may want to take out a small loan if this does not work your son needs to get out of that situation asap,'
2006-06-28 13:07:08 · answer #3 · answered by meadownathan2000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the three of you should sit down and talk it over. Let your son tell his reason/s why he doesn't want to be with his father. I think it's very important that the child feels comfortable around both parents and if for any reason he doesn't it should be taken seriously. I went thru a similar situation and there is no way I would force my children to be with someone they don't want to be with. He's 13 yrs old and I don't think he would like about something just because he wants to lie about it. Maybe there is some kind of abuse that you are not aware of and he is afraid to speak up. Talk to him and ask him to tell you the real reasons why he won't go with his father.
2006-06-28 12:59:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you only approached it from the point of custody?
Maybe you need to look into the possibility of your son seeking legal independence from his father. This may require your son getting some counseling to determine his true feelings. Through that avenue, you may find an alternative solution. They will want to assure it's what your son wants, and not that he's just caught in the middle of your issues with his father.
2006-06-28 13:04:13 · answer #5 · answered by Dale P 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know about the legal matter, unfortuantely. Just a word of caution, when my parents split and there was a battle for child custody, I became caught up in the war. I wasn't mistreated but I began to feel as if I had caused the rift, even though I knew I hadn't. Always be mindful of your child's emotional state in the matter. Concider his opions as you have and keep him in the loop, not the war. Just a peice of friendly advice. You seem to be doing a good job, so keep it up.
2006-06-28 13:00:58 · answer #6 · answered by ComplicatedSimplicity 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All I can say about this: Someone better pay attention to the child or your going to have major problems. Children are not property to be split and rented for the weekends. You cannot have custody of someone's heart, mind or emotions. REMEMBER, that child is going to turn 18 someday and leave. Then what?
2006-06-28 12:59:16 · answer #7 · answered by Cat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait...enough with the if he's 12 -thing....
Is there a valid reason why he doesn't want to go back?
You may have a case here if he has a valid reason for not wanting to go. Does his dad abuse him? Does he leave him for extended periods (2 + days alone)? etc, etc etc.
You said dad is controlling...You need to find out if dad is presenting a reason for your son to avoid going back there...
My daughter loves going to her dad's house, and I'm totally ok with it. But I remember a time when she didn't want to, and it was because her dad would sleep all day long and expect her to babysit his other children (her stepbrothers). That had to stop so he underwent therapy for depression....
2006-06-28 13:17:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i feel for you, i know where i live, the age of 13 the child has a choice of what they want, maybe try that angle with the courts
2006-06-28 13:57:21 · answer #9 · answered by thepainter 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't really have a solution for you,but I can see why your son doesn't want to go back there.Maybe your son could try to become emancipated and tell a judge why he doesn't want to live with him.
2006-06-28 12:57:07 · answer #10 · answered by LUNCHY THE PIRATE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋