Can somebody make me laugh please?

Question

I'm all mad with the whole racist guy thing. Can somebody help me vent?

thanks everyone, and this isn't a joke. A very racist person came raging through yahoo today and it upset me a bit. It's good to know good people are out there.

Answer 1

poopy doody butt....i farted....my underwear stink, i farted in em all day....

Hope it helps you, it sure does make the kids laugh when they yell it back and forth to each other all day!

Answer 2

A couple attending an art exhibition at the local art gallery are looking at a painting/portrait that had them totally confused. The painting showed three black men, totally naked, standing on a park bench. Two of the black men had black penises, one of the men, the one in the middle, had a pink penis.
The curator of the art gallery realized the confused couple were having trouble interpruting the painting and offered his assessment of the painting. He went on and on for about half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emmasculation of African-Americans in a predominantly white, patriarcal society. In fact, he pointed out, some SERIOUS critics believe that the pink penis reflects the cultural and social oppression expressed by gay men in a contemporary society.
After the curator left, a Scottsman approached the couple and asked if they really wanted to know what the painting was truly about... The couple asked.. "How would you claim to know more about that painting than the curator of the gallery...?"
"Because I'm the guy who painted it...." he replied. "In fact, there's no African-American representation in the painting at all. They're just three Scottish coal-minors and the guy in the middle went home for lunch!"

Hope that makes you laugh!

Answer 3

Of Angels and Children

The first Chapter

It was a cold and desolate night. The rain picked up and began its merciless downpour upon the miserable souls of the city.
One miserable soul that has wandered throughout the day in search for the kindness of a stranger or at least bit of parcel, was destined to meet another that night. This poor wonderer was but a child, an innocent girl who because of her ragged appearance (or more so because of the cruel and uncaring nature of the city's inhabitants) had received no food and no kindness that day. It was sadly expected.
As the night grew colder, and the rain picked up, the girl began a search for shelter. While ducking into the nearest alleyway a very unusual sight caught her eye. Being inexperienced in life she did not understand what she was seeing.
Under a street light kneeled a man facing her, with two white, outstretched wings protruding from his back! He raised his eyes to look at her and she was not afraid. There was a silence broken by the rain as they stared at each other.
This man, if that is what he was, saw the poor child shivering and wet, wearing rags and staring at him through those sad eyes with a courage he has never seen before. Without breaking his glance, he lifted a wing high enough to accommodate her and waited. She perceived his intentions and was not hesitant to accept generosity after a life of neglect since her family died. She stepped forward, her bare feet patting across puddles before finding shelter under his wing.
In a life of doubt and fear never has the girl felt so safe, yet still her hunger prevailed. She would go hungry tonight as she’s done before. Lying there cowered under the extension, the sight of the pale feathers above her brought moisture to her eyes, she noticed that his wings too were worn and tattered like her clothes. Laying cuddled within her dry patch of concrete, she finally finds sleep. The rain poured heavily upon her guardians wings, yet he held them stoically as she slept and stared at the wretched creature. Never has he offered so much before, but why?
Any passerby observant enough to look down the alleyway would see a normal man kneeling on the sidewalk. And upon a closer look would see a girl sleeping beside him, somehow being sheltered from the rain.

She had found salvation, he has found his savior.

Answer 4

Here's a little joke to make ya feel better:

How to Tell the Sex of a Fly
> This is the cleanest E-mail joke I've come across in a long while!

> A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a
> fly
> Swatter.
>
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.

> Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell them apart?"
>
> He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."

Answer 5

The best way to vent is start a journal, once you get going, you wont know how to stop! you just keep writing and writing! I hope everything turns out okay. Write, I promise you will feel so much better! Good Luck!

Answer 6

people who are racist are very closed minded... I am a canadian living in the usa and well i will tell you a story that happend to me.. last year in high school this guy came up to me while i was at my locker and slamed the door on my face breaking my nose and glasses... i asked him why... and he said it was cause i shouldnt be aloud to live in the usa because i am a fithy canadian.... well a week later my brother saw him and said i'm not racesit so i wont say it's cause your a dum *** american this is cause you'r a dum *** who messed with my sister... my broken glasses and brused face was nothing to match him... and he didnt say any thing to any one about how it happend

Answer 7

A lascivious monk from Dundee
Buggered a nun in a tree
While deep in her a$$
He chanted High Mass
And even the Pope came to see

Answer 8

People are still racist? That is so 80's. Like, wow. heehehe. That was dumb of me. Let's try again.

Two guys walk into a bar..... heard it.

I hate racists. They're bitches!

I like rainbows and salamanders

The KKK can kiss my grits!

Play with me in the sandbox. We can make a sculpture.

Answer 9

How come every time Miss Piggy tries to count to 100, when she gets to 69 she gets a frog in her thraot? I hope this has helped. Have a nice day.

Answer 10

who is the racist guy????when his live is done and he meets his maker i am sure that all he did wrong hear will have a price so picture him burning in hell,while you set on the good side of heaven.

Answer 11

A man and his wife were working in their garden one day and the man looks over at his wife and says "Your butt is getting really big, I mean really big. I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue."

With that he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measure the grill and then went over to where his wife was working and measured his wife's bottom.

"Yes, I was right, your butt is two inches wider than the barbecue!!!"

The woman chose to ignore her husband.

Later that night in bed, the husband is feeling frisky. He makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

She answers: "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-*** grill for one little weenie?