Spanking Stategies?!?!?!?

Question

OK, I understand that many people on here do not believe in spanking children. I get that!! Those of you who feel this way...... DON'T ANSWER!!! I want to know from those of you who feel that spanking is an appropriate method of discipline..... How do YOU spank YOUR children? What do you use? Do you keep it very routine and do it in the same room every time? Do you take their pants down? Do you keep it private? Any info would be helpful......

Answer 1

warn first, spank second if they don't listen. my mom did it private the first time i didn't listen and if i did it again, it was out in the open because it imbarressed me, so then i definitely stopped. but hopefully urs won't be that much trouble. she alwayed used her hand though, bare butt is for the really bad stuff i did, like crossing the road on my own.

Answer 2

Spanking has become a very touchy subject, as you can see by some of the responses. Despite the fact that you made a point of asking non-spankers not to reply to your question, a couple of them could not resist.

That being said, let's move on to your question. I believe that spanking is an effective parenting tool if used correctly. I spank my children in the classic "over-the-lap" position because I believe it is safer. If you spank while the child is standing, he might flinch and you could hit him (or her, I am going to say 'him' but I am referring to both genders) somewhere other than where you are aiming. I place the child over my lap and put my left hand in the small of his back, this effectively pins him in place and prevents a lot of movement. Of course he squirms and kicks while the spanking is in progress but this keeps my "target" right where I want it. I only spank with my hand; I do not like using anything else. I do spank bare bottom because I believe it is the only way to spank a child properly. I only spank in private; I see no reason to add humiliation to the punishment. And yes, I spank hard; I believe a spanking SHOULD hurt. If I am spanking then that means he has already been warned and a lesser punishment has been tried and has failed. A spanking is punishment and should be unpleasant. I have never left a bruise but his little bottom is bright red when I am finished.

Answer 3

I very strongly believe in spankings as a last resort, after warnings, time outs, loss of privileges, and our famous point chart. Needless to say there are some crimes that jump right to spankings, misbehaving in school, life threatening mistakes, or absolute direct defiance. They should be RARE, that being said they should be well remembered also. With us spankings are done in privet ( no one else should be punished by having to watch ) The child is told what is happening and why, they must repeat why so they understand and not do it again. Pants and under ware are taken down ( the loud slap noise and scare factor is worse the the actual spanking, also you know you are not leaving marks as long as your in control ) The child is laid over the knee/lap and spanked with the hand ( I don't believe in using objects, but that's our opinion ).
In a nut shell that's it. I might add that if you don't think you have the temper to give a spanking with out losing control you SHOULD NOT SPANK.
Just my opinion, unlike others I know there is no sure fire "Right" way of parenting, Just try your best and love your kids.

Answer 4

How do we (my wife and I) spank our child? Rarely. We have our own rules as to when it is appropriate, but it boils down to "If she's doing something that puts her at danger of losing life and or limb, she's going to get a spanking."
As to the specific and routine, A is given one warning ("Don't do that, you'll hurt yourself", or similar). If the warning is ignored, and the action continues, one to three sharp swats (depending on the severity of what would have happened if the action had been completed) with an open hand. The strikes are delivered to the meatiest part of the bottom, or across the back of the hand (depending, again, on the action). I can count on both hands the number of times we've spanked A in the last four years (she's eight). Most have not been actual "spankings", but two-finger swats to the knuckles: little chance of causing injury, but enough to get attention and stop the dangerous action. And no, these aren't full-force whacks, either; no more that about 45 degrees of "motion", and all at the elbow, not the shoulder (I go no more than about 30 degrees; I'm stronger and my arms are longer).
As to timing, it is immediate. This is because we feel it is important for A to connect the shock/pain with the action, not with us getting her into a "special" room.
Again, this is reserved for the high-danger things. The only time Ive ever given three spanks is when she rode her bicycle out in front of a car.

Answer 5

Yes, I am just a child myself, but I think that it is important to talk about MY views about spanking. I would say the paddle is the easiest for the parents to choose. And ALWAYS pull their pants down. Jeans cut out 90% of the blow and underware alone is still 10-20%! So ALWAYS spank bare-bottom!

As far as privacy, the best way to do it is close ALL the curtains and invite all the direct family to the spanking! (dad, mom, brothers, sisters) This creates major emaressment! Also if the offense they are paying for was against a family member, let them have a swing or two at the end!

I would say the best position would be to have your child kneel down on the ground and lay their chest across a chair. Kneel next to your child, and serve spankings.

I would say the best time to spank would be in the evening right before bed, then you can send your child to bed right after-wards.

Answer 6

I believe that spanking is fine. NO! both of my children would get spanked whenever they did something really bad, I would spank them in front of God and everyone, Grocery store is a very good learning experience for a child, the do's and dont's of public behavior. At restaurants, I would take my child to the bathroom and give them a spanking. A firm hand is usually appropriate, and they learn very fast that when you tell them to straighten up, they will know what the consequences are.

Answer 7

First of all, I have to agree with you on spanking. Everyone these days is going with the time-out rutine and I think that is a bunch of crap. Kids sit all day--what good is making them sit in the corner going to do? Spanking is a great form of discipline although I think it should be a last resort. When you do use it though, just do it. Don't take them in another room to do it or anything like that..if they do something wrong and deserve it then do it right then and there. Don't take their pants down either--that will cause it to hurt too much. You only want to do it hard enough that it only hurts for a minute. Don't use anything other then your hand. Anything other than your hand is what I consider abuse. I'm glad some people are still turning to spanking--these other parents with their time-outs and taking away priveledges seem very afraid of their children if you ask me. Too afraid to discipline so they just make them sit in the corner for 5 minutes...

Answer 8

I believe in spanking. I see nothing wrong with spanking your child now and then if it works for you. I spank my child with my hand, never another object. I don't spank in the same room.....that would be impossible if you are in public. I do spank in private because there are those out there that will call child services on you for spanking your child. You are spanking them, not beating them. I also do it because I don't want to embarrass him I will take him to a bathroom or to the car, which ever is convienient. I do not take the pants down, I usually slap him on the thigh. Lately I have been lucky just to be able to threaten him with a spanking and he listens.

I usually follow up a spanking with time out. Slowly but surely we are making progress and he is doing much better.

Answer 9

MY son is to young to spank. But when my nephew was younger ( he's 9 now) I would swat his butt once twice hard while telling him what he did wrong then ( depending on the severity) Put him on a ten minute time out when he was off of his time out I asked him what he was there for and why he did it. then he had to do something nice for some one.

When he was spanked It was with his pants up and it was with my hand. when he was on time out it was in the same spot everytime by his room. I believe that you can spank your kids just do not abuse them. Since it has become "uncool" to admit you spank them ( kids ) the time out thing does not always work but combined with a little bit of reason can go a long way.


Good luck and stay strong they are always testing you.

Answer 10

My rules for spanking are (1) except for very young children it is best to use something like a paddle (2) effectiveness is increased 100% if it is bare bottom (3) effectiveness is increased 1000% if it is consistent (4) if you can't follow rule no. 3--then don't bother with spanking.

--I also think that spankings should be in private--just parent and the child.

~Becky

Answer 11

um... well I believe if a kid does wrong he should be spanked. I think it should be in public depending on the crime as to embarres him for embarrassing you. I'd leave the pants on just cuz it's easier and sorry to say although I was spanked with a belt or a wooden spoon it's illegal these days to use anything but your hand. Good luck hopefully they will learn the first time.