he is livining 50/50 between me and his father who by the way lets my son do what he wants and there is no discipline there(self admitted) I am worried as my son will start school in September and this is an issue i cannot seem to resolve.
2006-06-28 09:55:22 · 23 answers · asked by MissesK 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
It is normal for a five year old not to be able to wipe himself. Take him to the doctor. Our son had a problem with bowel movements and we found out he had a medical issue that resolved itself with time. He went on stool softeners for a couple years until his body grew out of it. Take him to the doctor... DO NOT SPANK HIM AS THE FIRST LADY TOLD YOU... THAT IS CRUEL IN MY OPINION... DO OTHERS THINK THAT IS CRUEL?
2006-07-02 16:40:41 · answer #1 · answered by beenthere 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I think you've already addressed some of the problems.
You and your ex are a big part of your sons' development, or lack thereof.
You and the ex need to get into some joint family counseling and have some very specific ground rules established...especially in the area of child rearing, boundary-setting and development.
Someone is not following through with the rules.
The boy NEEDS consistency.
His needs are NOT being met and problems will manifest into something very ugly down the road if the two of you don't agree on a goal for the boy.
It's ALL ABOUT THE BOY.
I think you know that, I suspect the ex doesn't.
Good luck.
2006-06-28 10:01:50 · answer #2 · answered by docscholl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
explain the problem to the father too. Every time you take him into the bathroom, hand him the tissue paper/ kid wipes and tell him to wipe himself. After you show him and hand it to him again and again forcing him to wipe, he will get the idea. Your ex needs to do the same.
If that does not solve the problem then your child is most likely doing this for attention from both of you. He could be upset that he has to run between both parents, etc. Talk to him. Maybe you might need a different arrangement instead of 50/50. Maybe live one place and a parent comes and visits child at the home instead and only takes the kid on weekends. You may need to talk to the school's counselor (free).
2006-06-29 14:09:06 · answer #3 · answered by Educated 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, when he comes over ...ask him if he is excited about school and stuff, and if so then tell him that only big boys go to school and in order to be a big boy he has to wipe himself. Now, if he still doesn't listen, tell him that people at school will call him names if they find out and that he will have a hard time making friend if keeps messing himself up and not wiping, because no one wants to play with a dirty boy. Also, tell him that those are germs and germs are bad so if he doesn't wipe himself he will get sick.
2006-06-28 10:01:49 · answer #4 · answered by monavyas15 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same problem with one of my boys, part of it was laziness, part of it was not knowing how to properly wipe himself. The next couple times he has to go to the bathroom, go with him and show him how to actually wrap the toilet paper around his hand and so on. The flushable wipes also work well because they clean better and then they don't have a mess in their underwear. Make sure that his dad is on the same page. Good luck!
2006-06-28 10:04:02 · answer #5 · answered by Samantha M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What I did with my 2 children who is 6 & 8 now. I gave them smaries. Only 1, not the pack. It last longer and the still think they are getting rewarded. When they do wrong just a little hit on the but. or made them sit for a minute. Nothing that would hurt them.
2006-07-03 16:25:54 · answer #6 · answered by mk2weaver 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, continue to encourage him to wipe. If your son messes his pants, have him change his clothes and clean himself up. Also, get him some counseling to deal with ith issues of the 50/50 custody.
2006-06-28 10:01:55 · answer #7 · answered by seatonrsp 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
about the wiping himself part i cant help u but all little boys that age have occasionally "messed" themselves, the father has nothing to do with it...i am the same way with my parrents, they split up whe i was 7 and my dad lives life the way it should be liven, freely, and i am a junior in highschool and i make straight a's and speak fluent spanish, just teach him what is right and let him do the rest
2006-06-28 17:35:18 · answer #8 · answered by me 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a common issue, I had the same problem with my 1st son (also shared custody) You just have to go in everytime he uses the restroom and instruct him each time. He will eventually catch on, unfortunately theres nothing you can do when he's not with you. And remember always praise, never scold.
2006-06-28 09:59:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO he dont need whoopin - my son will be 5 on the 2nd and he has had a problem with wiping. his pediatrician told me to get a box of baby wipes and set next to the toilet and tell him that they are " big boy wipes". and now hes wiping on his own and no messy underwear. with discipline problem, i suggest to sit him down and talk to him about things. maybe mention to his father about the things that you and the child has talked about. thats what i do.
2006-06-29 01:49:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is normal for boys.if you make a big deal about it then he might avoid the potty.get some wipes and teach him how to use one after toliet tissue.they even make wipes for adults now so its not a biggy for a boy to use one to get clean right.my son is 11 and rushes in the bathroom...it drives me crazy to see a wet seat.the wipes helped him keep clean and thats not an issue anymore but I keep some in the restroom just in case!
2006-06-30 07:22:27 · answer #11 · answered by empresscalls 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋