Religious joke?

Question

A Buddhist walks up to a hotdog vendor and says; "Make me one with everything".


hahaha I thought it was funny, for those who don't get it buddhist try to be at peace with the universe so "unite me with everything"
who thought this was funny? anybody else have their own religious jokes?

Answer 1

Noah And The Ark

The Lord spoke to Noah and said, "Noah, in six months I am going to make it rain until the whole world is covered with water and all the
evil things are destroyed. But, I want to save a few good people and two of every living thing on the planet. I am ordering you to build
an ark." And, in a flash of lightning, he delivered the specifications for the ark.

"OK," Noah said, trembling with fear and fumbling with the blueprints, "I'm your man."

"Six months and it starts to rain," thundered the Lord. "You better have my ark completed or learn to swim for a long, long time!"

Six months passed, the sky began to cloud up, and the rain began to fall in torrents.
The Lord looked down and saw Noah sitting in his yard, weeping, and there was no ark.

"Noah!" shouted the Lord, "where is My ark?" A lightning bolt crashed into the ground right beside Noah.

"Lord, please forgive me!" begged Noah. "I did my best, but there were some big problems."
"First, I had to get a building permit for the Ark's construction, but your plans did not meet their code. So, I had to hire an engineer to redo the plans, only to get into a long argument with him about whether to include a fire-sprinkler system."

"My neighbors objected, claiming that I was violating zoning ordinances by building the ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance from the city planning board."

"Then, I had a big problem getting enough wood for the ark, because there was a ban on cutting trees to save the spotted owl. I tried to
convince the environmentalists, and the Ministry of Natural Resources, that I needed the wood to save the owls, but they wouldn't let me
catch them, so no owls."

"Next, I started gathering up the animals, but got sued by an animal rights group that objected to me taking along only two of each kind."

"Just when the suit got dismissed, Environment Canada notified me that I couldn't complete the ark without filing an environmental impact statement on your proposed flood. They didn't take kindly to the idea that they had no jurisdiction over the conduct of a Supreme Being."

"Then, the Conservation Authority wanted a map of the proposed flood plan. I sent them a globe!"

"Right now, I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission over how many minorities I'm supposed to hire."

"Revenue Canada has seized all my assets claiming that I am trying to leave the country, and I just got a notice from the province that I owe some kind of use tax. Really, I don't think I can finish the ark in less than five years."

With that, the sky cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow arched across the sky.

Noah looked up and smiled. "You mean you are not going to destroy the world?" he asked hopefully.

"No," said the Lord, "the government already has!"

Answer 2

Q: What did the Buddha say when the hot dog vendor asked him if he had change?
A: Change must come from within.
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Q: Why can't the Buddha vacuum under the sofa?
A: Because he has no attachments.
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It will pass
A student went to his meditation teacher and said, "My meditation is horrible! I feel so distracted, or my legs ache, or I'm constantly falling asleep. It's just horrible!"

"It will pass," the teacher said matter-of-factly.

A week later, the student came back to his teacher. "My meditation is wonderful! I feel so aware, so peaceful, so alive! It's just wonderful!'

"It will pass," the teacher replied matter-of-factly.
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Confucius say: "man who run behind car get exhausted"..."man who run in front of car get tired"
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Q: How many wives does Buddhism allow?

A: You may have as many as your tolerance for misery can bear.

Answer 3

charlie dies and goes to heaven .At the pearly gates he is met by St Peter who offers to show him round
first they walk past a Field of people in orange robes /that's the Buddhists says st peter
then they walk past a Field of people praying on their knees /that's the Moslem's he says
then they pass the Jews /the catholics and many other groups
then they come to a walled area and st peter signals charlie to be very quiet once they have sneaked past the walled area charlie asks what was that for to which st Peter replies /that's the born again Christians THEY THINK THEY ARE THE ONLY ONES HERE

Answer 4

Dude, if you have to explain it, it's not universally funny.

I've heard it before, and don't have any "religious" jokes of my own.

Answer 5

A Buddhist walks up to a hotdog vendor and says; "Make me one with everything". And hands him a five.

Get vendor gives the Buddhist a hotdog.

The Buddhist asks "What about change?"

The vendor says, "Change must come from within"

Answer 6

It's funny in a strange way. If you don't know about different religions, you may not get it.

Answer 7

THREE WOMEN DIED AND WENT TO HEAVEN-ST PETER MET THEM AT THE GATE-HE TOLD THEM-THERE ARE ALOT OF DUCKS IN HEAVEN AND YOU CAN'T STEP ON THEM. SO RIGHT AWAY ONE OF THE WOMEN ACCIDENTLY STEPPED ON A DUCK-HERE CAME ST PETER WITH AN UGLY-UGLY MAN! HE HANDCUFFED HER TO HIM FOR ETERNITY. THE OTHER WOMEN WERE VERY CAREFUL BUT ANOTHER ONE STEPPED ON A DUCK. HERE CAME ST PETER WITH ANOTHER UGLY, UGLY MAN AND HANDCUFFED HER TO HIM FOR ETERNITY. THE LAST LADY WENT A LONG LONG TIME AND NEVER STEPPED ON A DUCK. HERE CAME ST PETER WITH A HANDSOME, HANDSOME MAN AND HANDCUFFED HIM TO HER. SHE SAID-WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS? THE MAN SAID-I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU-BUT I STEPPED ON A DUCK!!

Answer 8

lol. i've heard it before:D

Answer 9

is it a poem?

Answer 10

sorry