i have lived with with my b/f 4 4yrs to learn he want me to be in a 3some w/another girl but i am not bi. hELP

Question

I am 21 and he is 32. i thought that by being with an older man he would want to settle down. Pretty much he lied to me in the beginning of our relationship and told me that marrage was on his mind just to find out (like as of this weekend) that his ideal relationship is having either a threesome with another girl or having me and then go to another female to go to when i am not avail. what do i do? i really do not want to waste 4yrs? Do i try to make it work or just get rid of him? i would prefere a guys opinion but girls are welcome to respond.

Answer 1

Introducing a relationship to poligamy is frought with problems including trust, self esteem, etc. You risk eroding the fundemental principles of the relationship itself. Some people can make an open lifestyle work for their relationship. However, both people have to be brought into it strongly and both people have to be secure in their love, trust and sexuality.

Answer 2

He is what he is sweetie, if he lied from day one he's not trustworthy. I was going to say that in a threesome you don't have to play with the other girl because you can both focus on him but after reading the rest I think its time to move on. You're too young to stuck with a mediocre boyfriend. That also means he was 28 and going after a 17 year old, and I know age has no meaning but 17 is a little young for 28. I am 23 and 18 is almost young. Its hot to look at sometimes, but not dating material because I know they're still too young to truly know what they want. Women always are changing and evolving and men don't know that. You never waste anything if you learn from it. Just make sure you always find men that are exactly what you want. We are out there, ones who don't lie. I have to admit a threesome would be a lot of fun because of all the attention but I could not ask somebody I truly loved to cheat (or let me cheat) in the same presence.
I am sorry to say it, but leave him. He will never change, you are an adult and he will always be a child.

Answer 3

I can't tell you to get rid of him that's your choice but if it was me, he would have been a thing of the past as soon as he mentioned a threesome or sleeping with another woman. Why would you want to spend another second, minute, hour, days, months, or years with someone who lied to you from the beginning and tells you he wants to sleep with other woman.

I rather waste 4 years than waste 5, 6, 7 , 8, or who knows how many more years with such a man. Oh and the fact he older, I would prefer my older men to be smart and wiser.

Answer 4

i think he is sick, u lived with him for 4 years he should respect that, basically u have been wasted 16% of your life time with him, that a lot, he should respect that amount of time that u cares about you,
u know what u should do u have to test him, bring thing up say that u want to make a 3 some with another guy and him and see what he will response, if he say OK that means he did not love you and there is no way he is going to marry you,

3 some is good it is every man dream, but he has to understand that he is 32 not 20!!!, he should be responsible and respect his age

Good luck

Answer 5

First off he is bored. I am sorry to tell you this but he wants to dabble with other women but doesn't want to lose the security that you bring him. You can move on if you want or do what he wants either way your relationship is in trouble. You probably love him so you probably will hold on till the bitter end and that is fine but know that this may be a sign that he will want out of this relationship at some point soon.

Answer 6

Get rid of him...don't think of it as wasting 4 years but as a life lesson. It is obvious that what your seeking is a monogamous relationship and not an open relationship like this guy wants. The man is a fool, he used you and thinks now that you've been with him for so long you will give in rather than leave. Please prove him wrong and walk away. You deserve to be with a man who loves you and only you, not this waste of time.

Answer 7

I'm actually going through this right now, but I am bi. And I am going for it. I dunno, my thoughts are that you shouldn't do something that you're really against, but if this is just something you're not extremely interested in, why not give it a try at least? Or just go out and find some chick to make out with. I think you may be pleasantly surprised...and the fact that you're willing to go out on a limb for your guy would probably make him think that you cared about him and his needs even more.

Answer 8

This is why he is still single at 32. If you don't say OK to this he is going to cheat if he hasn't already. Basically he wants you to be his main b**** and have other chicks/flings on the side. If you are OK with that then go for it. If not find some one on your level and want the same things you want.

Answer 9

a 3some is the quickest way to end a good relationship.
You think it'll be cool and you can handle it, but it never ends up that way.

I personally have never been in one and would never. But i know several people that have. They are not happy individuals.

Answer 10

If you really have no inclanation to be with another woman then let him go, you'll be ok and so will he, he really doesnt care what you want if, you say this is what you dont want,everyone wants to experience something they never had, only natural, u learn from experience, but if your gut tells you you wont like it then you probably wont....p.s. can you introduce me to the alright cashew girl?