Why don't people take the time to truly know someone before they pass judgement onto them?

Question

Ok , just a bit to add to this questin. I hate it when people judge me for the way I have chosen to live my life. I am a very loving and caring person and a mother of 4 wonderful children. I work full time just like anyone else does and also has bills and responsibilities just like anyone else does. Why cant people see that everyone is entitled to be loved and to love. I came out of the closet 5 yrs ago and just got married to my partner in a church that excepts all in their church without discrimination. (1 yr ago) I have a really hard time when people judge me because of my lifestyle, and do not even take the time to know me for who I am inside. I look at it - that I am just like anyone else that breaths, eats, sleeps, pays taxes, raise children, works a full time job etccc.....

Answer 1

It's easier this way. Easier to put people into boxes, so as soon as you see them you can decide if they fit into your "box" or not. This way, there is no time wasted on people that you already know you won't like, or won't fit into your lifestyle.

Everyone wants to feel superior to other people, and this is a handy, unconcious way of seeing people and deciding that you are better than them. It's so sad - everyone has value and we should all give all people a chance.

Answer 2

Maybe because it's impossible. There are, last I heard, 7 billion people in the world. You won't meet all of them in your lifetime, but the number you will meet is probably astonishing, if you think about it. Especially if you count those you meet online.

Meanwhile, you can interact with someone your whole life without ever truly knowing them.

Of the people you meet, you have to decide who matters to you in your life, who is worth spending your time with. Like it or not, that's a value judgement, and every time you meet someone you make it. You may revise this judgement later, or put it off until later once in a while (but even putting it off until later takes thought, and therefore time). But when it comes down to it, every person you meet you judge, so that you can figure out where they belong in your life.

So the answer to your question is, there just isn't time. If you take time to get to know every person you meet, then you may end up wasting a lot of time with people you don't really like, when you could spend that time with people whose company you do enjoy, who can help you grow as a person.

Answer 3

There is only one that will judge us in the end & that is God. I don't judge you for your choice but I will tell you that the Bible says it is wrong. I wont condemn you for what you do but sin condemns us. I wont say that it's ok because it's not. I won't say that I don't care what you do because I would help everyone in the world if I could. I will share my thoughts & opinions with you with respect & I won't judge. Some ppl do but some don't. Some may try to offer advice & maybe you're taking it as being judged. Don't you owe it to yourself to find out if it's possible that you are wrong? Not for me, not for other ppl, but for yourself. It's your decision, your life & your eternity. What would it hurt to get more information on what may or may not be true? I do wish you the very best of luck & I do hope you have a great day. God bless. : )

Answer 4

While I don't agree with your choices, I truly understand where you come from. We get very little information on a person and then pass judgment. It's wrong. Because no one knows you and what has created this situation. The same goes for everyone else.

Instead, I believe that my pastor said it best: instead of going to that person and judging them. When that person comes to mind, pray about them. And then if you feel the need to help them make a change, get to know them and find out what they need. Only by being their friend and understanding and being compassionate can you ever hope to win a person over.

Answer 5

You are absolutely correct in what you say. You are Human, you have feelings, bleed, work, etc. People should not judge you, the only person who can rightfully judge you is GOD. I am a Christian, I may not agree with your lifestyle, but that doesn't mean I can't be your friend. My God doesn't teach hate. And remember this,,, those who are judging you now, will have to be judged themselves and will have to answer for it..

Take care, and God Bless!

Answer 6

Could you give some details as to what you are talking about? There is some behavior which is just plain wrong, and you don't need to "take the time to truly know someone" before saying that the behavior is wrong.

PS: Are you judging people who are judging people who don't take the time to truly know them? Are you taking the time to truly know these people that YOU are judging?

Answer 7

People are scared, They don't want to see you as a person but as a "sinner". If they see you as a person they might come to love and care about you. They may starting "hangin" with homosexuals and becoming their friends. And that scares a lot of christians, but Guess what God wants us to. God is all about love, don't get me wrong Homosexuality is a sin but so is adultery and lieing and stealing and......you get the point, we have all sinned. We shouldn't generalize either homosexuals or christians lets just say that the way I read the bible, homosexuality is a sin, God doesn't like it and I'm obligated to not like "it" either. And all christians aren't "homophobic" they simply don't want to spend eternity in heaven without you whom they love. Everyon remeber that God does want us to reach out to everyone in Love. Please don't think all christians are judging you, they may just be simply trying to let you know that God wants you to turn from your current way of life to follow his perfect will. I would say the same to anyone who I know that sin's, just remember that the real judgement will come. Be ready.

Answer 8

Congratulations on coming out and on getting married.
I believe people with holes in their soles have a burning desire to feel better than others. And, since they really aren't better than anyone else, they achieve a feeling of superiority through the fine art of judgementalism. When you let their bitterness and judgementalness get to you, you are giving them a power that they don't deserve. It is not our job to judge. It's God's job. These people aren't worthy of your tears. Nobody is.

Answer 9

Whenever I hear "people do this or that" I always include myself, because I'm people too.

Regardless of our ethnic origin or sexual orientation, we human beings are so full of stereotypes and prejudices. No exceptions. I'm not being cynical, just telling it like it is.

Your apparent sentimentalist view of life as it ought to be (without prejudices, to be known without judgmental attitudes), your candid rhetoric actually mask your deep dislike for people who see the outside you (that you are lesbian) and fail to get to know you as a person. Isn't that attitude a way of judging those who judge you? Just let them be and be thankful for your friends who know you, stick by you and enjoy your company. Don't mind the rest.

Answer 10

I don't know why people judge before they get to know someone. But if you are wondering why some people would feel your lifestyle wrong and feel like they are judging you that is because some people feel that homosexuality is a sin.