My daughter's bioglogical father wants to suddenly be involved should I let him?

Question

My daughter is five years old nad she does have my husband (who's been there for her since birth) as a male role model. Her "real" dad has been known to use drugs off and on and I know he is a convicted felon who is currently on probation. On top of that he has never paid a dime. He has set up two visits both of which he was no show. My daughter gets hurt and let down when he doesn't show up or call her. I just don't want her to ever think I kept her from him. Please help!

Answer 1

It is your chioce. If he isn't paying child support, he does not have visitation rights until he pays back support....four years worth.
I would have strong stipulations. He needs to show up, if he misses so many times then..........their is a consequence etc.
Supervised visitation sounds like a must in this case.
What I did was have my lawyer contact his and state:
if you can prove that he has changed his life around through court documents, psychological treatment, work records, etc. and pay fourteen years of back child support then I will consider it. My child is too precious to me to allow him to just float in......and not be a real father. Guess what? It never went any further than that. We never heard from him again.

Answer 2

I would say that the child has a right to know who her father is when she is older. She is too young right now to meet her natural father when a man who is capable of being stable and responsible is taking care of her. If he waited 5 years to make contact with her, he can wait another 10 years when she's 15 and old enough to understand the situation better. Why confuse the child now with 2 fathers? One who's there sometimes and one who's there all the time?

And, could you trust this man to have her on visits? Would you feel comfortable with him having unsupervised visits with her? I say send him pictures from time to time, keep him informed about her life. And when she is old enough to understand the difference between (sperm donor - biological father) and (responsible parent, in my life daily father) let her have phone conversations with him. He never gave you any impression that he would be there for her in the past, what if he only showed up for a few years then disappeared again? Then what do you tell her?

Answer 3

Take a deep breath . . . do not forget that if at age 18 your daughter unearths out YOU kept her from her father all those years she will be able to finally end up resenting you and preserving this non-existent father of hers as some suitable ascertain who has been consistently searching for her. So, understand HE needs to affix his daughters existence, and at this element HE can no longer call for it if he's not on the delivery certificate nor has he taken a paternity try or been ordered to pay new child help. it really is previous time to make him formally to blame for finding out to purchase the youngster's upbringing by utilizing putting a suitable new child help order in position. enable the courts safeguard that area and characteristic a order of visitation, no longer each and every time HE needs to ascertain her, yet a schedule he could abide by utilizing. (in the initiating i'm certain it could be courtroom supervised because the youngster does no longer even comprehend him). look after your self and do not enable visits on your position on condition that he has shown to be a thief even as your back is grew to change into.

Answer 4

If he wants to set up a time to see her again why don't you insist that it be at your home. Don't tell your daughter about the planned visit, so if he doesn't show up she is not disappointed and if he does it can be a surprise. The first couple of times he sees her should be supervised anyway because of his history. You sound like a good person so I am sure whatever you decide to do will be in your daughters best interest. Good luck

Answer 5

That's a hard one.

I'd say, if the real father wants to see your daughter, then have him visit her at your house and spend some time with her there (if your current husband is ok with that). But if he's gonna, keep dissin her then screw his *** and keep your daughter away from him because he is not fitted to be a dad if he can't even man up to his words.

Answer 6

To be honest with you if he is on drugs at all you can prove him unfit to see her and you can get supervised visits. He can sue you to have visitation but if he is proven unfit then it is a different story. you have to protect your child from seeing any type of illegal behavior and who knows what he is capable of if he does drugs and is around the child so do it legally and do it soon. She should not have to be around a man who is showing her nothing but dysfunction.
Now if he is to get his act together in the future and becomes a asset to society then you can not keep her away from him she will resent you when she gets older but if he is a druggie then you must protect her and not let any harm her way

Answer 7

If the bio dad hasn't paid a dime of nothing he get's nothing>>>when your daughter is grown and wants to find him she can, maybe he'll have cleaned up his act by then. My grand daughter HAS to see her dead beat druggy dad what a bad example of DAD. but we have to let her go cuz he pays child support. it's a bummer. You aren't keeping her from anything she should be around believe me.

Answer 8

listen u dont want ur child growing up not knowing who her real Dad is! u all dont need to have a relationship but those to need to! on the reel my sister is in a simular situation with her daughter's father! she realized that she should get to know her father and let them have a relationship! and the only part she has in it is dropping her 8 year old off and picking her up!

Answer 9

I would not allow him to keep disappointing her. Is there any way you could set up a visit, and not clue your daughter in. Then she wouldn't have to be disappointed if he didn't show.

What I would do in your shoes is wait until she's 18, and give her all the information you have on him. She can then make her own decision.

Answer 10

Well if he is paying child support, he probably be allowed too... if he isnt, if he is a safe person you dont mind being arround your daughter than i think you should give him the chance, a 2nd parental figure is always good, or at least someone that your daughter feels comfortable to be arround...

Answer 11

Supervised Visits ONLY! Given his record. He does not sound responcible or trustworthy enough to take her places.

A father should see his daughter - but man - what a situation. Supervised visits or tell him to forget it. Once he proves himself then you'll see about expanding his visit rights.