How can I deal with it?

Question

My three year old daughter is very independent If she doesn't get her way she will cry no matter what it is about. When I do try to discipline her she thinks it is funny. She doesn't listen, however my soon to be 2 year old does listen if she isn't around her sister. I don't know how to deal with this. I love my kids but sometimes I can't stand to be around them because they just don't listen. She won't try to learn her abc's or numbers because she tells me she doesn't need to. I have spent a lot of money for books that I thought would be fun but she isn't interested b/c I ask her to do it. I know she is very smart just by her talking to me. She has a need to change her sister's diaper ( and does it very well) but when it comes to listening to me or her father it is non existent. If anyone can help me that would be great.

Answer 1

sounds like you need to use some reverse psychology

you're smarter than her, you can trick her into doing what she needs to do

Answer 2

Maybe try reward system to coax her into
better behavior. You could get a calendar and
put gold stars for all her good days, then tell
her if she can go a whole week with all gold stars
you will give her a special treat. It might be an activity
she enjoys like trip to zoo or amusement park,
or maybe buy her a toy that she really wants.

This reinforces proper behavior by giving her
incentive to be a good girl.

As for discipline when needed, one thing that
might work is to take away their favorite toys,
that way she learns being bad has negative
consequences.

Answer 3

It sounds like she is just trying to be independent and test her boundries. With my daughter, I gave her choices but ones that I controlled. Such as, if I asked her if she wanted breakfast she would say no and then to prove her point wouldn't eat. So instead I would ask "do you want toast for breakfast or cereal?" Then she would have the feeling of being in control and making her own choice but also I was happy. It could work for you by saying do you want to practice your abc's now or your numbers? Let her choose. All kids are different so what works for one may not work for another but maybe this will help. Just keep trying different tactics and something will eventually work. Of course, if it's like it is with my kids, by the time you figure it out they will be growing out of that stage and into another one. Good Luck!

Answer 4

I have an almost 4 year old who sounds very similar to yours. She laughs at me when I spank her, time out works for about 5 minutes and yelling does nothing but make her stop and look at me funny, then keep on doing what she's doing. My older child (she's 6) is very well behaved, as is my 16 mo. old. I don't know what to tell you on that. What I can tell you is that she just recently took an interest in learing how to write, in particular her name. In my experience with her, I had to wait until she was ready to learn things on her time table, not mine. Forcing her to sit down and read or to try and teach her to write when she wasn't ready made her more resistant to it. I think that will come with time. As for the discipline, if you figure that one out, please let me know!

Answer 5

My suggestion is to allow your three year old to do what she wants, within reason of course. At that point, sit down with the two year old, ands show her the ABC's and numbers. Eventually your three year old will get jeaolus and want to join in. At such a young age children don't know or realize what they do or don't need. It's just a matter of showing them in a way they'll learn to appreciate. Basically, anytime you want the three year old to do something, sit down with the two year old. Jealousy can be ugly, but it has its way of making things work.

Answer 6

email nanny911 or everytime she doesn't do what you ask her to put her into a designated timeout spot. Be consistant, it is a minute per year old so if the child is 3 that would be three minutes the 2 yr old two minutes. Stick to it....don't crack....don't let your husband crack.

Set them both straight now or when they are 12/13 you will be in real bad shape.

Answer 7

Someone needs a good spanking before it's too late. Show the child who is boss and who makes the rules. You continue to let her think she is in charge, you are in for a very long miserable time.

Answer 8

ok...in terms of thier abc's and numbers dont bother ur self cos they are interested to learn it in the school zone than in house zone so just bring them to school dont pressure them.about their attitude towards u.ignore their childish manner cos the more u give them attentions the more they become naughty but if u think its over better show ur anger against her attitude not against her by means of ur expressive face and remember not to hurt them physically cos it wont work.

Answer 9

gotta love the little independent free thinkers -- she will learn her letters and numbers -- her own way. 3 still is very young -- just be consistent with your consequenses for bad behavior and you'll be fine.