I am so lost right now. I have had a long distance relationship w/my boyfriend for 6yrs. We saw each other a bunch really. I moved to where he is 3mos ago, we bought a house, everything was good but i cant find a job here that suits me. we fight all the time. i loved my job, my hometown. i gave it all up for him and now i'm unhappy, i miss my family so much (i live bout 5hrs away fm them now). i wanna go back home, he will never move to neck of the woods, so i'm debating leaving, i dont wanna give up our relationship because we worked so hard for 6 yrs to make it work, but i wanna go home. does anyone have any opinions?
2006-06-28 08:38:41 · 13 answers · asked by kandysue_86 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
In five words, "Do what makes you happy." I could say more but you get the point. I hope.
2006-06-28 08:48:28 · answer #1 · answered by just_me_thinking_&_smiling 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I moved 2500 miles from the east coast to Idaho to be with my fiancee; I live four long days' worth of driving from my family. It can be quite hard adjusting to new surroundings. It can also be hard reestablishing yourself in a new community. Simple things like getting a new job, making new friends, and just figuring out where everything is in your new town can drive a person crazy. And, there is a big tendency for the person who made the sacrifice and moved to blame the other person for "making them move."
If you've only been in your new community for three months, then you are still grieving the loss of your old town, family, and friends. But, they will still be there when go back to visit. Three months is not enough time to get over your loss and to have a reasonable perspective of where you live now. Be patient with your boyfriend and with your new community. Stop punishing him for your decision to move. And, stop punishing yourself. Life is about change, and you have made a big change by moving. Give yourself time to grieve what you have lost and to gain a new perspective on what you have gained. Give your new community one more year to grow on you. If this time next summer, you are still miserable, then perhaps you should go home. On the other hand, you will probably find that in a year's time that you still miss home somewhat, but not horribly. You will also find that you know your way around your new town, you will probably have a job and new friends by then. These are the things that will make your transition much more tolerable.
Be patient and give it some time.
2006-06-28 15:56:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you've probably heard this a million times but, "if it's meant to be, then it will happen."
I met my now husband in boot camp in 1998 and we were then stationed together in Mississippi. We were so happy and in love. Then I got stationed 6 hours away in Florida and he stayed in Mississippi. We broke up because the long distance was just too hard on us.
We found our way back to each other in 2003, got married, and now we're pregnant with our 3rd child.
Maybe a break is what you need to see if this relationship is really good for you or not! good luck
2006-06-28 15:44:36 · answer #3 · answered by Jennifer H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't stay in a relationship just because you invested a certain amount of time in it. Stay in a relationship because you think it's worth being in, and you're in love with your significant other, and you both are compatible and you see a happy and mutually beneficial future together. Be honest with yourself about if you can handle living that far away from your job and family like that. Have you given yourself a realistic amount of time to adjust to your new living situation? The fact that he is unwilling to consider moving to where you lived might mean that he is unwilling to compromise on other issues, or simply that when it comes to where you want to live, you are incompatible. Only you can know if you can truly deal with this or not.
2006-06-28 15:42:08 · answer #4 · answered by thecentrecannothold 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should move somewhere in between, but if you already bought a house together that's a sign of comittment to the relationship, and I think you knew what you were getting into when you bought it with him.... It would be unfair of you to just up and leave... Maybe once a month take a weekend off and both of you go back to visit your family...Talk it out, if the relationship is worth keeping you'd compromise.
2006-06-28 15:43:40 · answer #5 · answered by WoWChick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your bf about it. Let him know that you're unhappy and try to figure out the best thing for the both of you. Six years is a lot of time invested in the relationship, too long a time to let go to waste.
2006-06-28 15:48:43 · answer #6 · answered by BaBy K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it doesn't work then it doesn't work. There's always someone else out in the sea for you. God has a reason and a purpose for everything. So... if your really that unhappy stop complaining and go back to your home. Best Wishes.
2006-06-28 15:43:23 · answer #7 · answered by nobody is home 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not happy go back home. If he loves you, he should try to be more flexible. You tried now it is his turn. Maybe both of you can move to a midpoint between your old home and new one.
2006-06-28 15:42:04 · answer #8 · answered by femme fatale 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lister heart it will tel you what to do yes you maybe will have to give him up or you can talk to him and tell him how you feel and so how is go's OK
2006-06-28 15:43:43 · answer #9 · answered by ash 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well cant you talk to him about all of this. I mean if he really loves you he would do anything for you.
2006-06-28 15:44:33 · answer #10 · answered by Megan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋