iv been with my boyfriend 8weeks tomorrow and i had a miscarrage today and since then we both been different i was quiet for a while and then got drunk but him on the other hand just stayed quiet , he came back for his diner and when i asked him if he was just going to ignore me he said thats what iv been doing but i wasnt anyway i asked him if he even wanted to be here with me and he said he doesnt know and then got up and left and said he might see me tomorrow or something but the way he is being is confusing me because at 1st when we both found out he was holding my hand and stuff like that and then now hes being really distant like he cant bear to be near me i know hes hurting through it all and so am i but hes hurting me by being this way towards me i have a really horrible gut feeling that this is it that he dont want me anymore i feel like just going out and getting so drunk and forgetting about him but what if im wrong what if hes just hurt
2006-06-28 08:24:26 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Advice for women(it doesn't seem women are aware of this): Men will shy away from people and spend time alone, maybe even become irritable if they feel hurt(not that you hurt him--you sound very sweet and nice). These feelings you and him both are going through are normal. I personally think he was getting excited about the kid thing. Both of you will need to be strong for each other and be aware of each other's feelings to move forward. You said you stayed quiet, as well.
2006-06-28 08:33:36 · answer #1 · answered by Nep 6 · 6⤊ 1⤋
First off...Drinking doesn't solve problems..just makes them worse!! But you know that!
Now...as for your issues with your boyfriend. 1. I'm sorry you had a miscarriage. I've been there..my g/f (at the time) actually carried full term and my kid was still born. So, yes..it can always be worse. Not that that makes you feel any better. It just wasn't time for you to have a child. here's alot you can learn from this...depending on how honestt you are with yourself..and him. If you understand he is hurting too....why do you feel the need to have him comfort you. Why not try comforting him? Are you sure he wanted children? Was this something you talked about? You aren't the only person that was becoming a parent. He was to become a father. As a man that wants to have chlidren I was heartbroken. I wasn't really the same for almost 2yrs. I hope you understand that. I'm not saying he'll be closed off to you for 2yrs. But his understanding of life and how frgile it is will change as I assume your's will too.
In this situation I will tell you to take all your hopes, dreams and emotions and apply them to him aswell. You really have no idea how he feels...but I can assure you..he's waaaaayyyy past hurt! He's literally devistated!! Any man that wants to have chidren is elated when they find out their woman is pregnant. The life of that child flashes before them and all the things that a "stereotypical dad" does....is instantly born inside him...if it wasn't there before. Don't push him away...just let him know if he wants to talk you'll listen..if he doesn't that's fine too. Maybe you can start your courtship again..and go from there.
2006-06-28 08:43:16 · answer #2 · answered by mr_phatdique 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Things will get better, give it time. Look on the bright side, it sounds like the two of you weren't ready to have a baby. Everything happens for a reason. Learn from this mistake and always wear a condom when having sex. Give him a few days alone so he can sort out his thoughts and so you can too. After time has passed, try to talk to him and tell him how you feel. This relationship is not worth saving, honey. I would move on. He doesn't care enough for you, because he didn't protect himself and you from not usinf protection.
2006-06-28 08:36:01 · answer #3 · answered by beauty&mind 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He just needs time to understand that things just happen good or bad. He just had his bubble busted and cannot help but feel odd around you especially it being such a short time in the relationship. If being a dad was something new to him it might take him a little while to come around.
2006-06-28 08:35:13 · answer #4 · answered by shadowu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are too young to be going through this. He may just need a few days, maybe he's really upset. I do question your judgement, however. You've been together 8 weeks and already been pregnant and miscarried? You should probably be taking things slower than this.
2006-06-28 08:28:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well,maybe ya did something wrong.
ask him,thats the best ya can do.
2006-06-28 08:32:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
aiyeee!?!?!?!?
2006-06-28 08:28:30 · answer #7 · answered by twentythree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋