how do you get a three year old to bed.with out crying..this is nate wife asking.?

Question

my child doesnt want to go to bed with out his daddy home with him.. he crys and bithchs about going to bed. i do bath then read a storyand then i torn out the lights and it starts cry and fussing and not wanting to go to bed and i tell him that daddy will be home soon and go to bed and he want.what should i do about this. thanks for your time.carol brown

Answer 1

He doing it for control it has less to do with his father than you would think. My son goes through this every so often also. If possible have your husband say goodnight to him on the phone. My husband is getting his masters at night school so two days a week he isn't home when my son goes to bed. What I do is read my son books I snuggle him close and talk about our day and how much I love him and how pround of him I am for ......(I give specifics about the day .. "when you were helping your sister learn her letters I thought that was so nice, you are such a great brother" and so on) Then I tell him it's time for bed turn down the lights and leave ... if he starts to fuss get out of bed or whatever - he gets one warning and then if he does it again I turn off his music next he loses his "big light" (he still has a night light) and then I shut the door. I have only had to shut his door once and that's when we first started now I don't have to do anything but remind him to stay in bed. I also tell him it's okay if he is sad and if it feels better to cry it's okay he just can't scream.

If he previously went to bed fine and this is something new then the above should work, he knows what he is suppose to be doing and he is just testing his boundaries. Make sure dad spends quality time with him when he is home so that your son don't really have something to be sad about when he's not home. If your husband was home and you were gone he would say he didn't want to go until you go home, it's control.

Answer 2

I'm the father of three kids (5, 3, 1) and we have had a different experience with each child at different stages. With our five year old, we did the routine thing... bath, story, bed w/ a sippy cup of water. Our 3 year old is a night owl and we often find him wandering the house when we least expect it. He's gotten to be sneaky about it and he runs back to his bed when we catch him up wandering, but he doesn't usually fuss about it. Our 1 year old just needs her favorite blanket and a bit of rocking and she's out for the night.

I guess the best advice is to step up what you're already doing and be consistent and firm. First of all, kids need the security of a routine in their developmental years. So, keep doing what you're doing with bath and then story and then lights out. You might also try talking to him about his behavior and giving him an alternative and tell him that he can decide. I don't think adults give kids enough credit for what they can understand and for being responsible for their behavior. I tell my kids when they start to fuss that fussing doesn't change my mind about anything. They have to "turn their fussies off" before I'll listen to them. By and large, my kids don't fuss anymore, cause they know that is an inappropriate way of getting what they want. So, tell him that his fussing will not work to get daddy home or let him stay up. But, he can decide how he wants to go to bed... with a story or a snack. You can get a clock radio/cd player and let him pick the music to listen to while he goes to sleep. There are a lot of great children's CDs with appropriate music. Give him a stake in the bed time decision making and then give him consequences if he chooses to fuss instead. I've found that if my 5 year old fusses, and I take away her music for the night, she goes a long time without fussing because she remembers the conesquences of fussing instead of going on to sleep.

Answer 3

When we had problems with my daughter, I started the bedtime routine 1/2 hour earlier. I give her a bath, read 3 short books, say prayers and sing two short songs for her. The songs are always with the lights out. Children have a hard time breaking away, but I find that spending the quality time with her before bed helps with the separation anxiety. read the books slowly, not rushed through because you have a load of laundry waiting for you (I've done this, doesn't work.) Also, you may after doing the whole routine, need to just let him cry a bit. Be consistent, have him go to bed the same time every night. Also no tv for 1/2 before the bedtime routine helps a lot as well. Tell your child the truth in a soothing voice, mommy is going to read you x books, say prayers with you, sing x songs and then leave the room and your going go to to sleep. Knowing what to expect helps your child relax a bit. It sure takes work on our part as parents, but it's worth every minute! I sure wish you well. Diana

Answer 4

It sounds mean but you're going to have to put your foot down and make him go to bed. Let him know it's bed time and that means his little bottom is in bed, whether daddy is home or not. Do not let him get up. You will probably have to listen to his crying but after a few nights he'll understand you mean business and stop

Answer 5

Try letting him call dad to say goodnight. Or give him a picture of dad that he can take to bed with him. Reward him with a small cookie for going to bed like a big boy with no crying, and be very positive about this. If you make bedtime a negative thing, he'll react negatively.

Answer 6

For small children it isn't individual or always unsuitable for equal intercourse mother or father and youngsters to bathe in combination. You see this plenty in camp grounds in which a mother or father could ought to be a idiot to allow a baby bathe by myself in a public tub residence. As anybody else mentioned, while a baby will get historic sufficient to begin asking questions then it is time to quit, say round four to five years historic.

Answer 7

I used to watch Super Nanny on tv and this always seemed to be a problem. She had a technique that she used that always worked, but I can't remember exactly what she did. Maybe if you log onto the Super Nanny website they will have some more info. Good Luck!

Answer 8

hi,So you have troubles w/ a 3 yr. old. I woiuld reccomend a nite light and then have him and daddy go and pick out a special beddybye toy.If the case is one where daddy is unable to pick out the toy then you help him and assure him that this is a special toy that will help hom sleep till daddy returns. Hope this helps. gl

Answer 9

1

Answer 10

Say a prayer with him ...
A Higher Source than even Daddy