I feel guilty because my boyfriend was violent with me, after a drunken night, and Im staying with him. I told some people and now they are judging. I havent told my mom, and I feel guilty for portraying that my relationship is happy.
2006-06-28 07:35:35 · 27 answers · asked by Me 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
~well has he been violent to u in the past if he has u should say something to our family or better off leave him~but if this is a one time thing then i think u should see what happens in the next few dayz but it all depends on his overall actions tords u~but if u feel guilty then u should talk and tell everyone (including him) how u feel~
good luck :)
Isabella
2006-06-28 07:40:29 · answer #1 · answered by izzy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a classic case of emotions clouding your otherwise good judgment.
Look at the situation from an outsider's perspective. Let's say your best friend was going out with a guy who was violent with her... would you just sit back and let her get abused? Sure, he may be a nice enough guy 90% of the time, but that 10% is enough to ruin your life in the long run, so quit wasting your time with him... the only person you're hurting is yourself.
Also, I don't care if he cries and begs for you to come back promising he'll change. Low-lifes like him do that all the time... and they never change. If you take him back, it will just get worse.
2006-06-28 14:41:53 · answer #2 · answered by smokingun 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was this the first time? Was he upset over something? Violence is a relationship is wrong not matter what, but you need to sit down and talk to him when he is sober and clear this whole thing up. If he starts getting abusive, get out of the relationship. As far as telling your mom, clear up the situation with your boyfriend first then talk to your mom. But it seems like your relationship is not a happy one since you said you are portraying it like that. If you are not happy, get out of the relationship, especially now since it seems to be getting worse.
2006-06-28 14:45:17 · answer #3 · answered by beth a 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter what the reason you should NEVER stay with someone who is EVER violent with you!!! There is NO way to stress this enough. Get out and get out now!! Drunk or not, no matter what the situation, no matter what the reason...>GET OUT! This is something that is really hard to see when you are in the situation but once you have moved on and look back at your sitation with clear eyes you will then see that you have done the right thing by leaving, you are worth FAR more then you are getting. GET OUT!
2006-06-28 14:38:29 · answer #4 · answered by navymn78 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not be in an abusive relationship, or at the very least you should tell him to seek help and counseling, or you are going to leave.
You do not have to tell your mom, though if you have a good relationship with her it might be a good idea. She can give you moral support you need to make it through this.
Do not let yourself be a victim of any type of abuse. No one deserves that. If he does not love and care about you enough to seek the help he needs so that he no longer hurts you, then you need to find someone who will. i am not saying give up. I am saying give up only if he will not take the steps to make himself and your relationship better.
2006-06-28 14:39:53 · answer #5 · answered by Raistliin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont you think you answered your own question?
"I feel guilty because by boyfriend was violent with me and Im staying with him."
Obviously you dont need us to give you the answer... just more of the reinforcement that other people gave you already, for whatever reason.
If you dont leave him... you WILL be judged as being weak and co-epenent. AND you will NEVER be happy as long as you are with him or anyone else that you allow to abuse you.
2006-06-28 14:51:25 · answer #6 · answered by sweeetredcherry 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if the violence was a one-time event brought on by the drinking, dont drink so much but still tell your mother what happened and the conditions around it. however if the violence is frequent you should still tell her, and get away as soon as you can. if your relationship isn't happy, then you should sit down and talk with him about why you arn't happy and see if he makes any changes. if he doesn't, leave because a relationship is a mutual happening, and both people should benefit and be happy, not just one. i hope that helps.
2006-06-28 14:42:06 · answer #7 · answered by andrew 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a rule a guy who gets violent is not a guy you want to be with. In fact you could be putting yourself in a dangerous situation. I'm not saying you are wrong for staying and I'm not trying to judge you. I'm just saying be VERY careful here. As yourself "Am I better with him or without him?" Is he really THAT special?
2006-06-28 14:39:29 · answer #8 · answered by danl747 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The people you told are not being judgmental. They are being smart. No one in there right mind is going to tell you it a GOOD thing to stay with some dude that kicks your a$$. You are not happy, get out. Get out now, before you REALLY get hurt. You do deserve better.
2006-06-28 14:38:17 · answer #9 · answered by shakia27 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop being fake, and tell the truth, and then move out. Any woman who stays with an abusive man, has a low self esteem problem... You dont deserve to be treated like that! Get help!
2006-06-28 14:38:58 · answer #10 · answered by Katz 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋