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well its not because of a third party..he got promoted and was so busy at work..he's concentrating in his work right now because he wanted to save money and continue his studies next year. He doesnt want me to text him because he said he'll only miss me and that i am the object of his destruction. He didnt even greet me when he called. All he said was that he really needed space and that we cant communicate that often anymore because he's really busy at work. He said that it was unfair on my side because, he cant do his obligation as a bf anymore.He also said that its ok for me to find someone better and that he's not in the mood for a relationship any time soon.I dont know what to feel anymore. I feel hurt because its our anniversay and it means a lot to me. I also miss him, and i dont know..i just feel hurt..i dont know what to say..pls help me..what am i gonna do??

2006-06-28 07:18:34 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

4 answers

It is not uncommon for guys to need space to themselves for a while. We aren't as adept at handling and understanding our emotions, so sometimes we need some time alone to sort them out. If you know it's not a third party, then give him his space. If you show that you respect his wishes, he should come back to you stronger than ever.

I'm sorry that it happened around your anniversary. This may have elevated his emotions and confusion about things. Be patient. If you love him, let him know that you will be there for him if he needs you again, then don't contact him anymore. If he loves you, he will contact you again in a few days, perhaps a few weeks.

If it's longer than that, then it may be that he is struggling through something that he is trying to protect you from or that he is ashamed of. Then, he may need a stronger show of love from you in order to allow him to overlook his own problems.

Good luck! Don't feel anything yet -- he probably doesn't know or understand how he is feeling right now, so you shouldn't assume anything about how he feels either. Let him sort it out.

2006-06-28 07:32:14 · answer #1 · answered by HCP 2 · 1 0

Sounds like his new promotion went to his head. Sorry little one, he's moved on without you. He has a new position, which means he's found a new life, new people and new ideas of who he wants to be and who he wants to be with. Personally, I think he's playing the field, and doesn't want an old girlfriend to walk in on his new "field". Just the fact that he's "giving" you your freedom tells me that. If he still loved you, he'd find a way to fit you into his new position, no matter how hard that was. By giving you the okay to find someone better, he's letting himself off the hook as your one-and-only. He's giving himself the freedom to "explore" new possibilities. The reality of it all is that he's moving on...without you. Yes, you're right to be hurt. Work through your feelings. Look back over the past 7 years. Learn from what you've lived. Then, make sure you don't make the same mistakes. Give yourself a "vacation" from guys for a while, until you're not hurting so much. Throw yourself into your job and other activities. Surround yourself with good friends...ones who won't bash Mr. Promotion, but who will encourage you and help you work through your feelings. Throwing darts at his picture might make you (and your gf's) feel better for the moment, but it rarely helps you get over him any faster. Anger isn't a good emotion right now, though you will be angry at times. Do something positive with that anger. Eventually you'll realize that this guy was just a shallow ladder climber, bent on getting his first, and not really caring about anyone else's feelings in his efforts to be better. You might even heave a sigh of relief at having dodged living the rest of your life with this guy, especially if he didn't "let you go" and kept a secret life. Just consider all I've said. I've some experience in this situation, and had to work through my own baggage in order to not make the same mistakes again. Hope all goes well for you. <*)))><

2006-06-28 07:37:13 · answer #2 · answered by Sandylynn 6 · 0 0

sorry dear but if you beleive he does not have any one else you are outta yo mind!!! he doesn't want you to call or text him bcause..guess what...he may be with the other gal when you contact him and that would cause alot of problems for him. If he loved you he would want you share his promotion cause that would be a future for the two of you, if you will do some investigating you will find out the truth...but please prepare yourself for the worst cause i am sure you are about to find out something bad...i also think by him telling you to move on he is trying to make it ok with his mind so he doesn't have to face the guilt of treating you like crap!!!! just move on and let him go

2006-06-28 07:30:43 · answer #3 · answered by shammy 2 · 0 0

One of a couple of things may be going on.

1. He wants to break up for whatever reason and is making it very easy for you to break up with him.

2. He is taking you for granted. You have been together for so long that he doesn't see your relationship as a beautiful thing. He sees the relationship as just part of his life and doesn't recognize that a relationship needs work to survive, even one as long as this one.

Either way he is being incredibly selfish by putting the weight of the relationship on you. He is expecting you to take the brunt of making it work either by keeping the torch burning without him or by dumping him. He is absolving himself of the problem of dealing with you by forcing you to make the choice.

You need to talk to him seriously about this. Tell him you won't stand for taking the responsibility for the relationship all on your own. Tell him that you need intimacy with him, you need communication with him and that he is NOT being forced to break up with you but he is choosing to break up by his inaction.

Something serious is going on with him and you need to discover what it is. I think it is very likely that he wishes to break up but doesn't "want to hurt you" but this passive agressive stance is not good for you or him.

2006-06-28 07:26:02 · answer #4 · answered by QuestionWyrm 5 · 0 0

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