I am a single Father Of 2 Daughters. (5-8) What is the best way to discpline a little girls. without spankings

Question

My youngest daughter is always flipping out and throwing tantrums when she gets upset. I'm trying my best not to get frustrated and spank her what shoul I do?

Answer 1

spanking is the best form a discipline if you know how to do it. The steps of spanking are:
1. Warn of the coming spanking if the tantrum continues
2. Take your child by the hand and lead her as calmly as possible to a private room
3. Tell your child why she is receiving a spanking and how many she will get for her tantrum
4. Bend her over something soft and leave her pants on (it softens the blow)
5. Proceed with the predetermined spankings
6. When done, hold her in your arms and tell her you are sad (not sorry) that you had to do that and that you love her very much
7. Tell her that if she continues, she will get more spankings.

Throughout all of it, you must tell her how much you love her and how much it hurts you that you have to physically discipline her. Spanking is not as big a deal as most people think. There are no other forms of discipline that are as effective as spanking. She must know who is in charge.

Do not worry about it adversely affecting your child's mental or emotional health. I was spanked as a kid, and I have no mental or emotional problems. I'm also an engineer, and only 23. The steps I gave you are how my parents disciplines me and I thank them for it. If they hadn't I'd have turned out like the rest of the male idiots you hear about.

Answer 2

I have a daughter 8yrs. a son 3yrs and another daughter 16months. I have found that they respond to different styles of discipline. Where my oldest will be brought to tears by a single look, my son will need to physically be placed into time out. I think there is no "set way" to approach discipline, but a way to approach each child. I prefer to use positive reinforcement focusing on the good instead of the "bad behaviors". I'm not always successful at this mind you. I am wondering when your 5yr old is prone to these tantrums? Is it all the time? I realize that a 5yr old can get upset often and this would be frustrating. Has she had a sudden change in her routine? A change in the family dynamic or child care? Has this behavior been a personality trait or is it something that has "developed" recently? All of these things and so many more can come into play here. Some good things in general to keep in mind. 1. SET CLEAR EXPECTATIONS AND CONSEQUENCES 2. BE CONSISTENT 3. FOLLOW THROUGH.
Without having more details it's hard to give you concrete advice. Just realize that you are human, not perfect, and you surely are doing the best that you can!

Answer 3

Why are you trying not to spank? Afraid of procecution or just don't believe spanking is OK?

Kids respond most to discipline, structure, and anything that lets them know that rules are there and breaking them will *always* not be OK. If you fold over as a parent they can't respect you or your rules.

My 3 year old gets spankings. Not hard, but enough to remind him that there are concequences to breaking the rule. No, he doesn't get spanked when he does something that we haven't made clear is unacceptable behavior, but we take that opportunity to let him know, and darn straight, the next time he does it again, he'll get the spanking. I'll tell ya... he likes going a long time between spankings now. He knows I'm serious when I say "don't do that", and he's really a great kid who likes to impress. That's what you're after, whether you believe in spanking or not.

DON'T do it when you're all worked up though. Spanking (or any punishment) out of frustration and especially anger is bad. It must be a technical response in which you can logically match the punishment to the crime, no more, no less. Consistency is the key.

I was raised by an overly-aggressive spanker -- in fact, it almost always elevated to abuse (drawing blood from whippings or worse for spilling Koolaid on the carpet) due to emotional craziness on the part of the disciplinary parent. <---- that is NOT ok! Yelling is not ok. Parents breaking the rules in front of the kids (ever) is not ok. Both parents not doing the same thing, is not OK. Parents undermining the other is not OK -- they must be on the same page and stand up for each other.

ok, now I'm just ranting. I'll get off the soap box now *lol*.

Cheers, and good luck
-HiAmp

Answer 4

Hey there, I am a mother of 2 also. I had the same problem. My oldest one (age5) is the most stubborn thing ever. It's like you try to threaten them with a spanking or put them in the room for time out, and they just throw a major fit. Acting as if they are in a battle with you, and they are gonna win. STUBBORN! Anyway, I finally figured out what works great. Without losing your temper, or ever spanking. You must stick to it K.
As soon as they start getting out of line, give them 1 warning (never more than one) that you are going to throw one of their toys or fav things away. You can't just put it away, cause they are smart and no eventually it will come back. Anyway, after first warning, and the behavior continues. Take the one item and put it in the outside trash. Tell them they have so long (1-2 hours) to earn this item back. If their behavior does not change, in that amount of time. Then explain that they had their chance, and the item stays and they never see it again. I know you are saying I spent the money on the toy, I don't want to throw it. It only took one toy, for my child to learn that I was dead serious. Then I never had completely threw anything away again. It really works. They figure out that you are serious. And pretty soon they just listen with a waring. No conflicts. Good luck.....:)

Answer 5

1st
Realize why she is throwing the tantrums...she must feel that they are getting her the desired results, or else she would find another way to cope.

2nd
Remember that beautiful little daughters learn how to be selfish and manipulative from birth...it's in the genes (I know 'cause I was one)

3rd
My father physically disciplined me when he needed to, but, most importantly, he first taught me boundaries...what is right and wrong, what is acceptable and unacceptable...he stuck to his guns and I knew he was serious and did what I had to do 'cause I knew that the next level of discipline would be a spanking if I didn't listen to him...
I had a "godly fear" of my father's authority in addition to respect for him enough to know he knew what he was talking about
Your girls are old enough to understand reason, unless there's another circumstance I'm not aware of.
If reason has just not been working, you should also consider having her evaluated by a professional to make sure there isn't something deeper going on, as well.
Also, make sure that you are explaining things to them so they'll understand you and not just saying "'cause I said so"...this type of arbitrary limit setting really pisses kids off and pushes them into rebelling

I'm a mommy now, and have an even deeper understanding and appreciation for how my father raised me; I turned out alright and so did my brother that I grew up with

But I also have two stepbrothers that were recently in jail...they were not raised the way I was, their parents refused to discipline them consistently when they were younger, didn't make them work (in school nor on jobs), and now they think the world owes them something just 'cause they exist and that they can sit around playing games and smoking pot and sleeping in the day and partying at night

God bless you, Sir...my hat is off to you for caring for your kids on your own.

Answer 6

probably the best things to do are just what you're thinking the return of violence for semi-violent behavior will only make it seem o.k. lack of t.v. time- time -out is still a good one at that age . asking her how it would feel if she saw you throw a tantrum everytime something didn't go your way. also finding out what the root of the tantrum really is . is it because she feels that's her special way of getting your attention? maybe you need to sit her down and explain to her that your attention will be much more there for better behavior and give her clear ezamples and then make sure you follow through. consistency is ALWAYS the name of the game . behavior versus same reaction eash time.

Answer 7

Punishments have the best results of making a baby indignant, aggressive, and customarily sneaky. It gadgets father and mom adverse to little ones, and maximum young children who've been punished would have undesirable attitudes. you want to enable your daughter do not ignore that you adore her, and that you'll by no skill end loving her. If she says something that hurts you, clarify gently the way you sense, without grievance or argument, and also take heed to her section. make optimistic you empathise such as her emotions - which, at this age, are in all probability to be very risky - and stay calm your self. Taking issues faraway from her, or putting forward 'no' without rationalization are only about sure to make her indignant. yet in case you take heed to her first, and enable her do not ignore that you note of her emotions, she is way extra in all probability to listen for your point of view. once you realize one yet another completely, you could then communicate obtainable options ahead. i recommend the e book 'the thanks to communicate so youngsters will listen... ' through Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish.

Answer 8

Tell her that makes it worse and she isnt going to get whatever until she is a good girl. Tell her she is beign a very "big girl" right now....don't spank!! Or maybe just try and let the tantrum fade out and ignore it and try to talk to her when she is done!!!

Answer 9

Discipline, consistently. A five year old might occasionally flip out. What you can control is your reaction. If you give her a reaction she finds amusing in any way, she has succeeded. Perhaps you might simply allow her "flip-out" time. If you are out, pick her up, put her in her car seat, and go home. Put her in her room and tell her that when she needs to flip out, she will have to do it in her room. This is hard for the other who might not be misbehaving, but while the little one has "flip out" time, find something fun to do with the child who is behaving.

Answer 10

The only way to react to a tantrum is by ignoring it. It's an attention getting exercise and it usually doesn't matter if the attention she gets is good or bad. If you ignore her, she will pretty quickly figure out that the tantrums aren't getting her what she wants.