Should I let my 10 year old buy boy clothes?

Question

My 10 year old daughter only wants to wear clothes from the boys dept. She loves baggy cargo shorts and t shirts and will not go into the girls dept to shop. Last winter I made the decision to tell her no more boys clothes that we would only buy from the girls dept but that I would buy her anything she chooses as long as it is girls clothing. So, now she won't buy anything, we are in a power struggle. She is outgrowing all her boy clothes and will not agree to buy anything from the girls dept. I am worried that she will be called gay or somehow be discriminated against if she continues to dress so differently from other girls. Does anyone have any advice?

Answer 1

Let her be who she wants to be.

Answer 2

How about a compromise? There are activities which usually require different types of clothing, perhaps she would agree to her choices for play times and hanging with her friends or just hanging around the house. For more dressy activities perhaps she will agree to casual girl dress? My 26 year old tom boy turned out just fine she not only liked only boy clothes but had a repulsion to the feel of "new " fabrics. I found out it was a strange side effect of ADD when she was 7. Most of her life she has dressed as a tomboy, but she is divine when she dons the girl stuff. I personally think she still likes the shock value of the extremes. Honey, she will be just fine, I am 55 and have raise 7 kids from 17 to 37. I have been through some wild fads.. like the Kiss wardrobe my middle son wore for three years. It is so funny now, but it made me cry in 87. Just get pictures! You are going to want to show them to her daughter when they are in the same arguement in twenty years. Oh, can you even imagine what they will want to wear? How fun.

Answer 3

She is only 10 . Yes she will be different from the other girls so what is so wrong with that. My daughter has just started to get in to female clothing.And something other than dark colors. I all most had a hard attack she showed up at the house in a yellow shirt. She has also started wearing dress&skirts. She is 23. So there is hope that she will out grow it. And the more you say no the more she will wont it. So try a give in on some of the things she wants. Good Luck.

Answer 4

Hmmm.....she's showing her individuality. If she feels comfortable and secure in the clothes she chooses, then let her wear them. As a parent of an 11 year old daughter, there ARE times I refuse to buy certain things, because they look too mature or trashy.
I don't know, I'm torn on this one. As a child, I wore whatever my parents bought me, although whining all the while. Maybe you could compromise. She could find girls' shorts a size too big, and girls' shirts a few sizes too large. How would that be? Does she have friends now? Does she get teased at all? If not, then don't worry about her clothes. Let her be happy.

Answer 5

I am a mother of 3 (two boys 9&13 and a girl 11). My daughter loves the boys baggy longer shorts and I allow her to purchase them, she says it is because the girls shorts are so short that when she bends over or plays outside she is afraid her butt will be showing. But, maybe there is a compromise with your daughter, maybe you could let her buy boys shorts or pants as long as she agrees to buy girls shirts. Hope I was of some help.

Answer 6

Hey Daisy Duck,
I've been a tomboy all my life and I still wear boy clothes. I'm a chunky girl and boy's clothes just fit better sometimes.Especially since everything you see in stores for girls now is short shorts or the waist is down by your privates. It is in style to wear baggy clothes now or maybe she is just very modest or has a low self esteem about the way she looks. You putting pressure on her about it is just going to make it worse. You'll be happy to know that I dress very feminine once in awhile and I had to learn that it was just appropriate sometimes. But I never said I liked it. I don't feel comfortable in dresses and lace never have, never will.

Answer 7

I am a grown up that still buys tons of stuff from the men’s department. I find women’s items too short or tight. Btw I am not gay. The real reason you don’t want her in boys clothing is probably more because YOU think it means she might be gay. I suggest you don’t worry about it. She is probably just a tom boy and will be more likely to give in if she has the choice. She is only 10, she has plenty of time to become obsessed about makeup and clothing. Besides, if they do call her names, it might make her want to start wearing girl’s clothes.

Answer 8

I understand you distress. I am a mother of three. But I have been on the other side of this battle. I wore boy clothes a lot when I was younger. It was pretty much because I was 1 of 4 sisters, and I wanted to stand out from the bunch. My Mom let me do it, protesting along the way. And to be honest, I am greatful that she let me. My Mom always made me feel that it was good to be myself, even when she disagreed. I am not sure what your daughter's reasoning is, but maybe let this one slide. She isn't hurting anyone, and if it gets to be a problem at school maybe she will decide to rethink it on her own. She may be doing this as a way to rebel against you, or her peers, or society in general. I don't know. But if this is the most of your worries, it sounds like you have a pretty good kid on your hands.

Answer 9

You are the parent, and you must set the rules for your household. Please get your husband/her father involved in this as well. You must enforce what you want her to do and what is best for her. If she is unwilling to comply, then you need to punish her. She is only 10 and you cannot let her rule you or your household.

I know several girls and women who like wearing boy's or men's clothing because they fit more comfortably. Once your daughter starts realizing that boys are looking at her with "interest" she will begin to care more about what she wears. I am sure this is just a phase she is going through, but nevertheless, do not let her control and make the decisions.

God bless!

Answer 10

I would let her buy the clothes she wants, as long as they don't have offensive pictures or words on them. At 10, she's starting to establish some independence from her parents. This is a small thing to fight over, IMO. If you don't want to appear like you're caving in on this issue, use it as a reward for doing something else that you would like her to do. For example, if she keeps her room clean for a week, she earns a pair of jeans. If she helps around the house cleaning, setting the table, caring for pets, she earns a t-shirt. Good grades might mean a shirt and pants set from the store in the mall instead of J C Penney's or K-mart.

If this is the only thing about your daughter that's bugging you, I'd say let it go, and enjoy them as they want to be. It's a small thing to fight over. Save your energy for the big things, like smoking, drugs, or hanging out with a bad crowd.

Answer 11

So you got the compromise thing going.

I think maybe if you show her pictures of girls that dress sporty and causal she may go for it.
Or pics of trendy tom-boy outfits.

At least she does not want to wear a tube top and a micro mini.

She is still 10 after all maybe she feels comfortable in clothes she can move around in and not worry about boys looking at her panties.