Is anyone afraid of marriage these days?

Question

with a high percentage of divorce and cheating? Even in the churches?

Answer 1

I understand. I don’t know what I’d do if I wasn’t married, but let me share some of the things I have learned in almost 20 years:

1) Courtship is important. And long courtships are best. In our fast-paced world, especially as young adults, we are always rushing around. The best way to divorce-proof a marriage begins before you ever meet your mate-to-be, during the dating process. Serial dating, especially when it involves premarital sex, is a course in how to get divorced. We end up hooking up and then when things go sour we run away. Don’t get involved with someone who isn’t a friend. And date at least 2 – 3 years before getting married. That way you can get over the initial 18 month crush where everything about the other person is fascinating and the whole infatuated view of “The way you eat is so cute – it sounds like bells ringing,” to “If you clang your fork off of your teeth again I’m gojng to shove it through the back of your throat.” Not kidding – real conversation between my wife & I in the first year. I’m glad to say she never jammed the fork through my throat and I learned to use my lips as a cushion between my fork & teeth. 

2) Keep Christ at the center of your marriage. It seems obvious, but it is essential. Every time you notice that ring on your finger, pray for your spouse. It doesn't have to be long or even audible. Just a quick mental thanks to God for your mate, or a quick thought of, "God be with her/him."

3) Love is NOT give and take. There is no take in love. Read 1 Cor. 13 (the love chapter). Love is giving. I give to my wife. She gives to me. If both are giving no one needs to take. Develop this mindset and remember that this is what marriage is meant for. Eph 5 takes a lot of heat for telling wives to submit to their husbands. But it also tells husbands to submit to their wives. Give + give = love. Give + take = selfishness = unhappy = divorce.

4) Never use derogatory names for each other, even in fun. Husbands, if you call your wife "old lady" that is what you will see in her over time. I call my wife "my bride", especially when I am upset with her. That way I remember that wedding day, all those dreams, etc.

5) When kids are involved it is easy to place them in front of your spouse. While time with kids is important & shouldn't be neglected, those kids will grow up & move out one day. Your mate will still be there and you'll need something else to talk about besides the kids. Make a habit of dating. Guys, even ask your wife out on a date. Arrange the babysitter. Often couples in church can provide a wonderful service for each other by trading Fridays (or whatever day is appropriate).

6) Get to know and socialize with an older Christian couple or two who have a happy long-term marriage. Learn from how to treat each other from them. Remember that we all face similar adaptation issues when we are first married & they have worked those issues out. Talk with them about what they had to work out in either early married years and how they resolved things. This can be one of the biggest benefits you ever have, especially if you come from a divorced family or a family with strained relations.

7) It may seem obvious but pray together. Have individual quite times, but have a shared quite time as well, at least once a week. And no matter how much you think it will hurt or bother your mate, talk. Holding it in doesn't make it go away - it only makes it fester until you explode all over each other. Talk and if agreement needs intervention, see your pastor or a Christian counselor.

Marriage is very frightening - especially for those of us who came out of dysfunctional families. But the single biggest cause of dysfunction in my experience (and in my family) was selfishness. Give to each other & to the Lord, and you too can have a happy marriage. God bless you & best wishes!

Answer 2

People should be afraid of rushing into marriage these days. People should also be afraid that their concept of marriage has been misconstrued by Hollywood. Marriage isn't all rainbows and butterflies and you can't just get hitched with some person you've known for a few months and think its going to last forever. People have to start taking marriage seriously for the divorce rates to drop because when you don't mean your vows, you're setting yourself up for disaster. People also see divorce as the easy way out so they're like "Oh, things got hard. I want a divorce". You have to work at a relationship folks! So, know who you're marrying, be realistic, and don't just quit because it got hard and you have no reason to be afraid of marriage :)

Answer 3

Done it once, it didn't work. Would LOVE to do it again, but too afraid to take the leap. It's the divorce bit, too painful. I know we marry with the idea of NOT getting divorced, but it happens and you feel like crap afterwards. What is more frightening is that someone can rob you of half of everything you own even if it's THEIR decision to end the marriage.

Answer 4

Marriage? You mean there is such a thing yet? Marriage is a joining for life, with committment and divorce is not even in the vocabulary no matter how bad it is or how good it may be. You don't find that any more. It is use this person and then dump them and get someone else that can get me where I want to be.

Answer 5

Afraid of marriages??? I'm afraid of not marriages!!

You should 'be' the right person, more so that trying to find the right person... that fits your "lifestyle" .. ha ha!

No wonder divorce happens, -as quickly as the fashions change in the store, - you've just found out that your "starter" spouse just doesn't "do it" for you any more!!

How sad... and you're scared of marriage.. I'm scared of these types of people raising kids as single mothers.

Answer 6

is marriage going to end? With the subsequent technology. because the youngsters of on the instantaneous do no longer take marriage heavily, is the marriage going to change into no existent ? I truly have considered the divorce cost strengthen in the course of the former few years, and that i have talked about that the recent technology seams to be infatuated with the dishonest and dissimilar companions. Does this advise that marriage is now lengthy gone and that the relations is now going to be non existent? is this indications of the top of the international? Ors it merely infantile insurrection and they are going to do not forget that it's going to change right into a lonely existence in there elderly years ? brickie If we base it on your commentary, then marriage will be lost also the values of the relations. yet even besides the undeniable fact that how large is the share of evil over that of robust in this international, there'll consistently be a strong. I call marriage divorce or of any type that spoil marriage evil because that is going to spoil also the relations and the more youthful of the subsequent technology. the strong relations is the position the strong values are formed. So destroying the relations then the strong value also are destroyed. because the chinese language Philosophy pronounced there'll be no undesirable without the existence of robust. both are consistently hand in hand. so as my end i'd say that even besides the undeniable fact that divorce is starting to be extra more suitable besides the undeniable fact that that is going to under no circumstances eliminate or eliminate the folk who position self assurance in marriage and stay married all besides the undeniable fact that available lives.. end of the international? i do not comprehend!! per chance the initiating of the top. desire this enlighten undergo in ideas that Jesus loves you. comprehend Him in His words the Bible. God Bless Lim?E

Answer 7

When i was younger i told everyone i will never get married because i was afraid on marriage , but these days since i got older and met a nice guy and now i am married .

Answer 8

No. I have confidence in my relationship and my partner. I believe in the option of divorce, but not for myself. I think a big contributing factor in divorce is the laziness of most of society. Most people refuse to work at anything, including their relationships. It is a shame.

Answer 9

I am scared that my boyfriend is going to ask me to marry him he talks about it all the time and i don't know what I'm going to say when he does cause I'm not ready to make that commitment right now. So yes I'm scared of the word marriage

Answer 10

My fiance has been asking me to marry her for 8 years and I have Declined. We have 2 children together. I have a successful business. I don't think we need a peice of paper saying were married ,to be married. I am extremely faithful.