When planning a wedding, what is really necessary?

Question

I have noticed from reading postings about weddings and the planning of weddings that there seem to be so many more things to think about that I had originally thought, I have never heard of half the things mentioned, like Bridal Showers, bridal shower favours, welcome bags, where does it stop? I don't even think I want to give out favours at my wedding, it all seems like a lot of added expense!! We are paying for the guests accommodation, for their meals and drinks, I don't think our budget is going to stretch to buying them gifts as well. Would you be disappointed in not getting a favour?

Answer 1

You know your budget...stick to it. This is 2006 and your wedding can be anything you want it to be! There are no rules anymore...frankly, I think people have grown tired of the same old cookie cutter weddings...the long white dress, 3 tiered cake and boring invitations. Today your dress can be long, short, white, colored...your wedding cake may be individual mini cakes, a cookie cake, a cupcake tree or even donuts! Invitations can be homemade in any shape, description or theme. As for the wedding favors...they are not necessary at all. How many times have you helped clean up after a wedding? Guess what? A lot of your 'tippy' guests did not even remember to take them home! BUT...if you feel obligated to do the favor thing...why not create centerpieces that double as favors? Kill two birds with one stone. Vases full of single stemmed roses each tied with a tiny bow and a 'thank you' note would make lovely centerpieces. At the end of the evening, when you make your rounds and thank your guests...present them each with a single rose from your centerpieces as a token of your appreciation. If you would like some other neat, cheap ideas here is a site with a bit of a different perspective on weddings. More about saving your hard earned money for practical things like your new home or furniture rather than blowing it all on a one day affair. It makes sense! Here are a couple of links...

Answer 2

As a videographer I have been to many, many (many, many) weddings. The best weddings where people enjoy themselves most are always the ones where the bride and groom have just got the basics and a few frivolities and not worried about the little things like welcome bags etc.
The one that springs to mind most recently had emailed invites, a minimal amount of speeches, no pressies given out but had hired a bunch of giant games (such as pub jenga, an inflatable goal so goalies could throw themselves about with abandon safely etc etc) and a casino in the evening. There was not a single unsmiling face there.
On the other end of the spectrum, yesterday we did a wedding which was very formal with big expensive presents given out and every last detail matched the design on the brides dress. It was the most dull wedding we have done in a long time AND nearly everyone spent the time checking their watches.
Also, as an aside, it might be an idea to arrange child care if you have a large number of guests with children coming so Mum and Dad can have a break without worrying.

Answer 3

Oh so many weddings are just over the top. People bragging about how wealthy (or stupid) they are.

Keep it simple. No one will be dissapointed if you don't give out favours they will remember the occassion for how happy you and your partner looked and what a good time everybody had. Nothing else is important.

I had a cheap and very lovely wedding:
- Had it on a boat - means tables and chairs are provided and cleaned up after and its all over when the boat gets back from the little cruise.
- got guests to bring food rather than gifts; its the catering that is expensive
- didn't have flowers or a photographer, got all the guests to send their pictures in and my sisters went nuts with white crepe paper.
- Mum made my dress
- Did go fancy on the rings though... its the only bit that lasts more than a day

Some people say that if you spend money on one thing that it should be a photographer.

Answer 4

Bridal showers and bridal shower favors are actually paid for by the woman who holds your shower, so don't even worry about that.

You can decorate the tables with potted roses or other flowers or herbs, then give them as "favors" to those who are interested. Favors are just momentos for guests to remember your wedding by -- people are just used to getting favors that is all. You don't have to spend much on favors.

You can buy a pack of 24 wedding bubbles for about 7 bucks each which is less than 30 cents per person. Stick lables with your name and wedding date on them. This is what I did in addition to giving away potted roses and it was just fine. The thing about bubbles is that it really makes the dancefloor special when there are bubbles floating around you.

More extravagant favor would be a 1.70/each bookmark that has wildflower seeds that your guests can plant when they go home. It is an additional one time fee of 24 bucks for them to print a saying on it. I have a link to it down below.

It's not going to be the wedding favors that will break your budget, but having a huge guest list will when it comes to catering and drinks.

I have never received a welcome bag in any wedding I have gone to, so you can forget about that if you are paying for accommodations.

Answer 5

Hi, and congrats on your wedding!; Planning a wedding can be quite a hassle, and guys won't really know this because all they have to do is the "Asking", and many, the paying!. There are many sites that offer wedding planning guides, to help you keep tasks in mind and accounted for (You can find these for free either in The Knot and in Martha Stewart Weddings). When it comes to the bridal shower, this is not your job, but instead, your maid of honor's!, she should be planning a special little soiree for you, and the guests bring you bridal shower gifts to celebrate your upcoming nuptials. When it comes to wedding favors, not all parties opt to give them, but just know that you can make very beautiful ones for only a couple of hundred dollars, depending on your guest-list size (for great do-it yourself ideas, Martha Stewart weddings online also has beautiful and inexpensive ideas, I love her tips ^_^). The tough part in your situation is the added expense of your guests accommodation expenses (which might be a big chunk of your wedding budget), but don't despair, if you have people that can lend a hand, you can certainly create many things yourself, and leave no detail out because of budget. I'm sure you'll manage to create and plan a wonderful wedding!!

Have fun and good luck!

Melissa T.

http://www.kisstheenvelope.com

Answer 6

when planing a wedding you need the basics ie a venue
a way of telling people about it and someone to do the ceremony

dresses shoes flowers cakes etc are just the frills that go along with it My friend text her friends and family to come to her wedding, OK it was a small affair but people thought it was cute . No one will talk about you behind your back if you don't have favours or do what people think is traditional . From the sounds of it your being very generous and i would not care if you didn't live up to other peoples standards. be different , maybe instead of a wedding cake as such have loads of little cup cakes in little boxes which you could give out to each guest which would double up as your favours if you felt like you wanted to give out something .Don't stress yourself over this , the day goes by in an instant and you don't want to worry about things like that . ( try not to listen to mum/ future mother in laws either who are probably the ones putting extra pressure on you to have all these extras . take anything they say on board but at the end of the day its your day .Enjoy yourself and RELAX

Answer 7

half of the stuff mentioned is american traditions, eg bridal showers. The important thing is deciding where you want to get married. Regitry office or church. The office will have floral displays already so that is one thing you won't have to think of. The other is the reception if you want one. If it is going to be a sit down dinner, a buffet or just a disco where everyone buys their own drinks.
At the end of the day, its not how many guests you have, what flowers or where the reception is held, it is about commiting yourself to the one person you will love the rest of your life.
My hubby and I got married in a registry office £91 had a dress £300 a suit £81 and my family did the food for the reception at our flat. It would have been perfect if we hadn't invited my step-dad who walked around looking grumpy and disapproving all day. It don't matter how much you spend, just enjoy the day.

Answer 8

Come to think of it, I can't remember any of the favors that I've gotten at all the weddings I've attended, so I'd say no you don't need them.

Bridal showers are usually given by the maid of honor and maybe the mother of the bride. The cost is handled by those giving the party so the planning of that is not up to you. You won't have to do a thing.

To cut costs and drunk driving accidents, we didn't have an open bar. The guests paid for their own alcoholic beverages. The reception hall provided unlimited soft drinks. We only had enough champagne for the toasts (basically one glass per person).

Hope this helps!

Answer 9

personally i think just the bride, groom, venue rings someone to perform the ceremony and maybe a cake. the brides outfit (just a smart dress that does not need to be that expensive afterall unless you plan to wear it more than once or plan to pass it on to future generations just an off the peg number is normally good enough.
you could always hire a dress for the bride and the grooms suit if thats the way you want to go.

but thats just my opinion, i'm 100% single 32 in the uk. so I'm not in the best position to offer the best advice.

good luck with your wedding though i hope all goes well what ever you decide. oh and remeber guests and the reception are added optional extras that are not essential.

whatever you decide have a great day and wonderful marriage.

everything else is just luxuries that those who can afford it splash out on.

Answer 10

I know for a fact that my wedding was hard to plan...I paid too much attention to the little stuff and not enough attention to the big stuff...

The big deals are: dresses, guests, minister/justice of the peace, groom and place to have it.

That's all you really need. No favors or gifts.

For my wedding, I turned it into a "pot luck". It cut down on food prices. Everyone called my mother and told her they were bringing as in food, my mom would write it down so that nobody else was bringing it.

I didn't have a bridal shower either. I already have everything I need as in house appliances so on the invitation, I specifically said that if they wish to give us a gift, please give money for our honeymoon. It made thank you notes easier.