My 33 year old bf is getting a brand new Harley XL 883C. Its gonna cost us 17k when everything is all paid(bike+fin+war+etc). This includes 1k we are paying as a down payment. I co-signed on it but got to thinking, should I be doing this? This is why, he's 33 and I'm 23 we live with my parents. He's still married to his wife(she ran away from rehab + now we can't find her for a divorce and it will cost $600 to do.) We owe 1k to my parents from when I was hit by a car and I lost my job, and 2k for hospital bills from when I tired to kill myself. I just started a great job that pays well. His reason for wanting the harley is that his car that we just paid off is old and almost falling apart and he's worried that it will stop working, and that he's always wanted one. I think that we shouldn't buy the bike now but use the money to get rid of some debt and for him to get divorced and us married. I know this looks like a show from Springer but what do you think?
2006-06-28 06:07:02 · 14 answers · asked by crazy_in_lov 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My bf would like everyone to know that after I was hit by a car, he had to support me for 6 months and that its not his fault that he wife is a drunk and that he can't find her.
2006-06-28 06:19:40 · update #1
And yes he does work, full time.
2006-06-28 06:26:19 · update #2
By the way BOB B is the bf
2006-06-28 06:31:19 · update #3
WHOA! Stick to your guns! Your gut instinct is correct. The both of you are in a very sticky situation and financially you CANNOT afford it. I think your bf is being very selfish to buy this bike. And here the both of you are mooching off your parents because you fell on your faces. Yes, I can tell you love your bf so much that you would love for him to have this bike more than anything else in the world, but he has to GROW up and be a man and take on some responsibility and STOP thinking about only one person...himself. You are now in the picture and he needs to start thinking about the future (and future with you) instead of the here and now and the obligations he has to fulfill first, such as paying off bills instead of creating more debt. So what if he doesn't have the "nicest" car in the world, if it runs and gets you from point A to point B then that's all that matters. Yes it sounds that you will probably have to replace some parts on it...but that just comes with older cars and is better than making a $500 payment on a brand new car or bike that you really can't afford anyway.
Yes, co-signing was a big mistake because guess what??? If either of you split for any reason at all guess who gets stuck making HALF of the payments on a bike that you will never get to utilize.....YOU!
I am sorry that you have had all of this bad luck to deal with. Everyone has times where they are really down and out, this is understandable, but it is the choices you make in life to get you out of this situation that will make you stronger and a better person because of it. I suggest you have a serious talk with the bf about this bike. If he wont reason with you, maybe its time to get rid of this guy and focus on what YOU want in your life for a change. He is going to do nothing but bring you down. Live at home, pay off some debt, and get yourself back on your feet. Honestly can you imagine yourself being married to a guy who is selfish, irrational, has all this extra baggage and problems, and in some serious debt the rest of your life?? Its time to do some soul searching sista. Good luck and I hope you make the best decision for you, what ever that may be.
2006-06-28 06:28:17 · answer #1 · answered by Melissa M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him your concerns. Tell him you are very uncomfortable being in all that debt and that later on when all debts are paid you'll gladly help him buy a harley if that's what he still wants. For someone who was recently suicidal he shouldn't be putting all this pressure on you anyway. That should tell you how much he cares. You should have a free and clear mind that is absent from all the stresses of his wife, debts, living with parents, dangers of riding a harley. Stand firm on this and don't let anyone push you around. There are other fish in the sea you know some that don't have any stresses like a wife etc. You got a good job you said now see if you could get good credit, good boyfriend etc. Those who won't "shape up" tell them to "ship out."
2006-06-28 06:20:57 · answer #2 · answered by netty007force 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's using you my dear. My sister has gone thru the same thing.
Do not co-sign, he can get a used bike cheap, and get a divorce, and pay his bills and MOVE OUT OF YOUR PARENTS HOUSE. I can't believe they are even letting him live there.
If he doesn't have his life together at 33, I doubt very much that he ever will. Does he have a job? If not---DUMP HIM NOW
Sorry, but your heart will heal, your pocket book however will be in trouble for a llllloooonngg time if you stay with him.
If he loves you, he'll do whatever he can to get his life stable. No new bike right now. Good luck
2006-06-28 06:16:18 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure he is 33 and not 23? Time to grow up and accept some financial responsibility for your self. DO NOT CO-SIGN with a boyfriend, are you nuts. He dumps you and stops payment and wham you are stuck with the bills. DO NOT DO THIS. Pay off you debts first, then get a good used car for like 3k or put 1-2k into the car you have and you'll be way ahead.
2006-06-28 06:13:27 · answer #4 · answered by javelin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, no you shouldn't have co-signed. Your not married and you shouldn't put yourself and your credit on the line for a married man.
Second, he could find a car for less than the harley.
Third, how can he not afford a divorce, but thinks he can pay on a new Harley?
Fourth. You've hooked up with a loser and a leach. He'll suck you dry and then leave you. RUN!!!
2006-06-28 06:13:46 · answer #5 · answered by Thrasher 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like a major user to me. It is your credit that is getting use not just his. If he doesn't make the payment you will have to. What if he doesn't find his wife and has to wait for the divorce on grounds of abandonment. What if he finds someone else??? I would be paying your parents off that has been there for you through a lot it seems like. You will find someone and you will not have to second guess if you made the right choice.
2006-06-28 06:15:00 · answer #6 · answered by B D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You all need to get a life! you don't know me or my situation!
Dumbasses, we live in Florida where a bike is not a "toy" but an economical transportation choice!
And my car is 11 years old with 200,000 miles on it, so only a retard would put money into it to fix all that is wrong with it! We live in Florida and the air conditioning doesn't work and the window doesn't roll down.
2006-06-28 06:29:44 · answer #7 · answered by Bob B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep your money and let his wife keep him. I just turned 32 and I couldn't live with my mother or my wife's mother if I wanted to. His priorities are all messed up. H should be thinkin about a place for you and him so you can leave your parents house. You get him that motorcycle and I bet he will meet his next wife on it. Talk to your parents in this situation. They seem to be understanding to your situation. Don't be his second wife. Kick his a** to the curb while you still can.
Good Luck!
2006-06-28 06:15:27 · answer #8 · answered by G P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should have bought it. You need to get your life straight and your debts paid off before you should get "toys". If your car is about to break down, maybe you should have gotten another car - it's really going to be cold driving that harley in the winter when it's cold outside......
2006-06-28 06:11:16 · answer #9 · answered by sundragonjess 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, are you aware for a reality that he is talked approximately you in a nasty approach, and is your supply completely riskless??? You understand that a pair of lips will say some thing and probably, simply probably anyone instructed you anything considering they understand that you simply like this character they usually desire to clutter that up for you. Give him the improvement, and speak to him on a individual stage to transparent this reduce to rubble and transfer on with what might potentially be your dream man. Good good fortune
2016-08-31 09:15:45 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋