I am only 12 years old. My cousin is also 12. Her grandmother is sick with cancer. She has been crying a lot! Should I bring it up or leave it alone. I don't want to seem mean because we are going to Six Flags, I don't want to seem like I'm having fun while her grandmother is dying!
2006-06-28 06:03:48 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I think that you should tell her that your sorry about her Grandma, and that your there for her if she needs to talk or just a shoulder to cry on, because you know that this has to be really hard for her. Then leave it at that, unless she brings it up. And it's okay to have fun, even if there is bad and sad stuff going on in the world. There is always going to be bad and sad stuff going on and there is nothing that anyone can do about it. She'll appreciate your being there for her, and your giving her space too if she needs it.
2006-06-28 06:15:21 · answer #1 · answered by k_h_brown 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By you asking such a question, it seems to me that you do care a lot. I would give her a big hug and tell her how much she is loved!! Is your cousin going to six flags with you? Because even when things do get seemingly bad, we still need to have a little fun-especially if you're 12 yrs old!! I am sure that her grandmother doesn't want her to sit around mourning her death when she hasn't died!! It's like this, what would you do if you were dying?? I hope you wouldn't sit around crying all day everyday-even though it would probably be hard not to-but you would get out and do everything you could and show everyone just how much you really love them. Well, you do the same thing when it's not you but someone else who knows they are dying. Show them just how much they mean to you. When someone has an illness and they know they will die due to that illness, it gives everyone a chance to say goodbye also. Maybe you could remind your cousin of that also.
2006-07-12 11:20:34 · answer #2 · answered by T.R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a challenge at such a young age! I commend you for your concern for the situation and your cousin's feelings. Even adults find it hard to speak on such topics.
My kids had good friends who just hung around them when my father died. It was very hard on them. Speaking from my kids advantage point, it's good to have someone there even when words aren't said. Know that your company is a BIG help. Your cousin may not be able to share that with you right now, but that's ok. Enjoy Six Flags as much as you can. She needs the distraction, even if it's only for a little while. Continue to be a support to her. It seems that you're doing a good job already.
2006-07-12 11:24:36 · answer #3 · answered by L B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm Sorry. I've been there. A time of intense emotions, trying to go through each day like normal, but knowing it's not. It's fine for your cousin to cry. She is remembering past times of her grandmother. All you can do is be there for her. Sit next to her. She may want to talk. If she does'nt , that's cool too. We all handle grief in our own individual ways. while you are still there, she will notice that you were there and are concerned enough to try and help. Sad or Happy times, as the saying goes " Life goes on". Even when we want it to stop and take notice of a family member in pain. Best Wishes.
2006-06-28 13:45:56 · answer #4 · answered by stryker 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should ask her how she is feeling. If you wants to talk just listen. Tell her it is okay to cry. Invite her to go to Six Flags with you, maybe an out would be good to have a little fun and give her a break.
2006-07-11 08:12:07 · answer #5 · answered by Cheryl L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I lost my mother to cancer. My boys had a rough time losing their grandma. It helped them when ther friends asked them about their " best times with grandma." It gave them a chance to talk about the good times and remember their grandma when she was "well" instead of sick. Amazingly my boys then asked my mom (their grandma) what her "best memories" were. We all laughed and cried... but it felt so good. Then my mom read some books to the boys and we recorded her reading... we did that so that when my boys grow up, they can read with their "grandma" to their children. Mom has been gone now for three years... my boys still remember their "best times talk" as if it was yesterday. Maybe a talk like that will help your cousin too. Talk to her, she needs you right now. Help her cry by always listening. Have a blast at six flags... you must have fun... so she can have fun with you! It's ok to have a good time with your cousin. Her grandma would want her to have a good time.
2006-07-10 22:33:12 · answer #6 · answered by bebeshanibabe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just pretend like she doesn't have an illness. Just talk to her like you would anyone Else. When you are ending your visit tell her how much you enjoyed your time with her and give her a hug and kiss. It will make her feel so good ! It is really sad , just try not to think about the cancer part. Just focus on her words. You will do fine !
2006-07-11 12:51:38 · answer #7 · answered by sweenygirll 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im sure she will be thinking of her gram but she still is a child and wants to have fun,go and have fun and if she brings it up to you listion listion to her.Tell her you wish she could get better and just tell her you will be there for her if she wants to talk.But keep the day happy as much as you can,if you feel you are having to much fun when the fun calms down maybe you can ask her how her gram is and hopes she gets better.
2006-06-28 13:10:41 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there are no perfect words that you can say. let your cousin know you love her and your sorry her grandmother is sick. If she needs to talk with any one your available. Enjoy yourself at six flags. life is so short. don't feel guilty.
2006-07-10 12:45:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't have any personal experience with the person, don't force any kind of sensitive but insincere comments. Just be there, listen and answer when someone asks you something. If you "have to" talk to the person (assuming you don't know them well), then wish them well, and leave it at that.
If you actually know the person, then just say what comes to mind. Trying to be sincere is the complete opposite of being sincere.
2006-06-28 13:06:26 · answer #10 · answered by rainsinger 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋