What can I do......??

Question

My mother-in-law is a major bit** and she is ALL WAYS trying to do things to hurt me and to come in between me and my husband. She says smart comments about me and treats me like I am not good enough for her son. Me and my husband have been married 2 years and we have been together since I was 16 years old. I have NEVER cheated on him or treated him badly, all I have ever done is treated him like a king and do everything I can think of to make him happy, but yet she still hates me and tries to make me miserable. I really want to be mean back and do things that would hurt her and I want her to realize that my husband is on my side and not hers. If any one has any advise please let me know. What would you do if you were me??? It is to the point to were I can not even stand to be around her or look at her. She is SO MEAN to me for no reason. My friends have said that she is jealous because my husband is closer to me than he ever was with her. What should I DO???

Answer 1

He is expected to be close to you. Tho it shouldnt be a contest.
She is his mother and should respect you for his wife. But apparantly, she's not interested in her husbands concern, but rather her own selfishness. Does she not have a husband? Is he her only child/son?
At any rate, I'd stay clear of her at all costs. He's welcome to visit her. But I dont see any reason for you to visit her.......OR she to visit your home. I would discuss this with your mate, and than make it perfectly clear to her....UNLESS she is able to treat you with respect, she's no longer welcome in your home, and you have no desire whatsoever to go to her home....End of discussion. Might as well resolve it now. It will only get worse once you begin to have children.....

Answer 2

my mother-in-law is the same way! i dread having to go around her. when she calls, i ignore the phone. it only gets answered if my husband is home. it's really hard on me b/c we have a 6 1/2 month old son, and she thinks she knows how to raise him better than me, and she only sees him at the most, 2 times a month. she never smiled in any of my wedding pictures. and i have tried to get along with her. all i can say is sit down and talk to your husband. if he's on your side, then he should be willing to sit down and tell his mom how much he is hurting not only you, but him too. my mother-in-law makes back-handed comments to everyone else, talking about me. even said that my husband and i were selfish b/c we might have to move if my husband gets a promotion. she tries to run our entire life. my husband has finally stood up to her and told her what she was doing was wrong. now she doesn't call as much, and hasn't even tried to come around. i think her and her husband had a bad marriage and she tries to ruin everyone elses b/c she couldn't work on hers. she wants everyone else to be miserable like she was.

Answer 3

Your friends are correct....she is jealous of your relationship with her "baby". As a mother of boys I know that they will grow up and move out and love another woman more than me...but I may still feel a bit betrayed, but I am prepared for that. If I were in your situation as I am sort of, I would tell her frankly that her snide remarks and lack of respect are undeserved. Tell her all the things you just told us and then just let her be angry. Push her right to the point of tears as I'm sure she has done to you. It will not hurt your marriage as your husband surely knows of your hurt feelings and would understand your standing up for yourself. Best wishes

Answer 4

You cannot control her, first of all. The only thing you can control is your reaction to her. When she says mean and hurtful things, just say something like "I'm sorry you feel that way" and leave it alone. Whatever you do,don't go "whining" to your husband or make him choose sides....after all she is his Mom. His Mom knows she can get a reaction from you and it must give her some sick thrill. But when she doesn't get a reaction, it won't be fun anymore and she will stop and you will feel better knowing you did nothing to contribute to her "little game".

Answer 5

Much depends on what you define as "mean." Does she criticize your housekeeping, your cooking, your choice of clothing?

Some mothers cannot admit that a wife is as good as or better for their sons than they were. No girl is ever good enough.

Your husband needs to get involved and tell his mother to stop treating you so poorly. If you behave meanly to her or say mean things to her that will cause problems with your husband and you don't want that.

Answer 6

I suppose she probalby just cannot get over 'losing" her son but that is absolutly No excuse for her to treat you like crap. If I was u I would sit down with my husband and tell him how this bothers you, and have him come with u to talk to her, If it continues I would simply not allow her in your life, your husband should make that clear to her, I dont recommend seeking revenge or being hateful back to her, that will only continue this cycle. God bless and best of luck

Answer 7

Try talking with your husband. It does sound like she is jealous of your relationship. Either you can talk to her respectfully and tell her how she makes you feel or better yet have your husband tell her how he feels. Either way one of you has to stand up to her and set her straight. There is always a way to do things in a respectful manner.

Answer 8

First thing to do is to not be mean and nasty back to her, because it will only serve to validate her and her opinions. Secondly you need to talk with your husband, and ask him to tell her that her behavior is unacceptable. He needs to stick up for you. If he is unwilling, you need to think about getting out of the relationship completely. Jealousy isn't her issue, it is control over her son. If he doesn't cut the apron strings, it will only get worse. Maybe you both should think about relocating also.

Answer 9

First try confronting her about her behavior. Tell her that you don't know or really care why she is being so nasty to you you, just that you want it to stop. She doesn't have to be nice to you, but she does need to keep her opinion to herself.

If that doesn't work, ask your husband to confront her as well with the same proposition: she doesn't have to be nice, she just needs to shut up.

If neither of those options work just avoid her. Don't go to her house, don't let her in yours. If she can't act like an adult then she doesn't deserve your time.

Answer 10

Ugh! My in laws are the same!! My husband's family dislikes me and we can't figure out why. We are trully confused. Luckily we live states away. At this point I'm having my husband handle it. I didn't want to push it myself and have my husband resent me later. Just make sure your husband knows everything and that he knows how upset this makes you.

Answer 11

don't do anything, mothers are that way about their sons, I remember when I first got married, my mother tried to make me choose between my wife and her, I chose my wifes side, my mother finally came to terms with it, she wouldn't even speak to me for about 6 months. but she finally did and was a bigger person for it. I use to piss my mother off all the time with taking the wifes side, but my mother is dead now an in the end , we had a good relationship. parents can grow too if you let them.