need help for my 12 year old cousin....Please?

Question

My cousin is really funny for his age, (12) he is always saying and doing the most hilarious things. He is a natural at comedy, he does stand-up already and he's awesome. So, he entered a contest in our area called " Yo momma" it's a local spin off of a Tv show in LA. The prize is like $ 200.00 and a gift certificate. I was hoping maybe some of you might know some funny momma jokes like yo momma's so fat...that type of stuff.....we need funny......HELP??? we could even use jokes that he can use on his opponent!

Answer 1

Yo momma’s so fat she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.

Yo momma’s so fat that she has to wear two watches cuz she takes up two time zones.

Yo momma’s so fat she was in the middle of the highway I tried to swerve but ran out of gas.

Yo momma’s so fat she started singing "we are family, McDonalds, Burger King and me.

Yo momma’s so fat the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts!

Yo momma’s so fat when she put on high-heels and walked out onto the street, she struck oil!

Yo momma’s so fat that when she was floatin' in the ocean Spain tried to claim her as the new world.

Yo momma’s so fat when she jumped on a trampoline with yellow on, the sun said I give up!

Yo momma’s so fat when she went to the beach and got into the water scientist classified her as a new species of whale.

Yo momma's so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!

Yo momma's so fat she plays hopscotch like this: LA, Detroit, Chicago, NY.

Yo momma's so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn".

Yo momma's so fat that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most"

Yo momma's so fat when I took her to the beach, little kids surrounded her and chanted "Free Willy, Free Willy"!

Yo momma's so fat she gets clothes in three sizes: extra fat, jumbo, and ohmygodit'scomingtowardsus!

Yo momma’s *** is so fat, she got arrested at the airport for having 20 lbs. of crack

Yo momma's so stupid at bottom of application where it says Sign Here, she put Sagittarius

Yo momma's so stupid that she went to a Whalers game to see Shamu.

Yo momma's so stupid, she got hit by a cup and told the police that she got mugged.


Yo momma's so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

Yo momma's so stupid, when asked on an application, "Sex?", she marked, "M, F and sometimes Wednesday too."

Yo momma’s so stupid, she makes blondes look smart.

Yo momma’s so stupid I told her I was going to get her Tommy HILL figure and she told me she already tried to lose weight.

Yo momma's so stupid, that she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's.

Yo momma’s so stupid she called the cocaine hotline to order some.

Yo momma's so stupid, she asked you "What is the number for 911?"

Yo momma’s so fat that when she fell no one was laughing but the ground was cracking up.

Yo momma’s so fat that when she stood up everyone yelled out "eclipse"!

Yo momma’s so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.

Yo momma so old she knew burger king when he was a prince
Yo momma so old she has an autographed bible

Yo momma old she knew the dead ocean when it was sick

Yo momma so skinny you can see her farts

Answer 2

yo momma so fat when she went swimming at the gulf of Mexico and when she farted it was named hurricane Katrina

yo momma so poor she walking down the street with on shoe and somebody goes up and asks her "hey, did u loose a shoe?" she says "no, i just found one!"

yo momma so ugly she went to a haunted house and she came out with a job application

Yo mama's so stupid, she saw a billboard that said "Dodge Trucks" and she started ducking through traffic.

Yo mama's so stupid, when she took you to the airport and a sign said "Airport Left," she turned around and went home.

Yo mama's so ugly, she could only be Yo mama.

Yo mama's so ugly, people go as her for Halloween

Yo mama's so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.

Yo mama's so old, when she was in school there was no history class.

yo mama's so stupid she used deodorant as her lipstick and she keeps saying " why doesn't my new jumbo lipstick work?"

yo mama's like a wooden board flat, hard, and easy to nail

Answer 3

well since he does stand up then maybe he dosent need to be lookin for a joke he should already have some prepared!!
but heres one: yo momma teeth so yellow when she close her mouth her stomach light up!!

yo momma so hairy she got afros on her nipples!!

yo momma so fat when she passed by the tv i missed the whole season of making da band!!lol!!

Answer 4

Yo momma so stupid I saw her on the side of the street yelling into a envelope and I asked her what she was doing and she told me sending a voice mail.

Yo momma so stupid she called the operator and asked how long it takes to get to Los Angeles from New York; the operator said one minute; yo momma said thanks and hung up.

Answer 5

How about, your momma is so fat, when she steps on the scale, it says to be continued, when she bends over, the tides change, her prom picture was an aerial photo. Oh well, just a few anyway.

Answer 6

that sounds like an awesome contest!
how about this: yo momma so old that when god said "let there be light", she flipped the switch!

Answer 7

Yo mama is so fat her shadow weighs more than me!!!!!

Answer 8

this website has some good ones:

http://www.daylon.com/yomama/

good luck

Answer 9

www.thejokeyard.com/your_momma_jokes