When is it not okay to be friends with someone that you have been intimate with? I have remained friends with most of my exes and this drives my current one up the wall. Should I bend to him or keep my friends?
2006-06-28 05:18:47 · 33 answers · asked by Sarah H 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It should be okay to be friends with who ever you like, sounds like your current boyfriend is a jelous type and please don't let him live your life for you , it sounds more like a control issue and he isn't happy because he can't control who you talk to and when and if you run into these other guys.
You need to talk to your current boyfriend and get this all out in the open, As long as you don't mind him talking and spending time with other girls and you are comfortable in your own skin, but also try to see his point of view......but remind him they are ex's for a reason other wise you wouldn't have moved on with the current boyfriend.
2006-06-28 05:24:31 · answer #1 · answered by Not a Daddys Girl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes. You can make someone an ex without using an axe. It's an adult way of saying, hey, I like everything that's wrong with you but you're still not Mr. Right.
The problem with relationships and the intimacy thing is that it's almost like chasing a high. You can never reproduce those really special intimate moments. You can only remember them and be happy that you were fortunate enough to have one.
I hope this answer just changed a life. Peace.
2006-06-28 05:25:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow you are asking a much debated question. My opinion is that two previous lovers can not just be friends. If there were feelings before then there will always be a slight tension between the two of you, whether it's for your side, his side or both. It also depends on the type of relationship you had, how old you are etc... But i find it disturbing to have the person you are dating hanging out with their ex. They are an ex for a reason and it should stay that way unless you are trying to get back with him. I can see your point where you just see him as a friend but you also have to see that the person you are dating will have insecurities about the two of you hanging out. It's natural to feel that way because he cares about you and sees your ex as a threat to the relationship. Put yourself in the situation, would you be cool with him hanging out with an ex and not knowing what they are really doing? It creates unnecessary insecurities that will create fights and affect your relationship. It's all about putting yourself in the other person's shoes and communicating. Good Luck!
2006-06-28 05:34:17 · answer #3 · answered by DLo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never, under any circumstances remain friends with an ex while currently married unless you want another divorce. It is totaly unfair to your spouse and he should be suspicious. What is the point other than an ego booster to you. You, of course, must be cordial to your ex if you share children and your current spouse must be cognizant of this reality. But your husband did not marry your ex.
I have been married three times and have tried to be friendly with both of my exes but only while I was single. One worked out and the other did not. I have dated my last ex wife after my latest wife died. She was a great comfort because we didn't have to learn about each other all over again. As long as you do not try to relive the past, you can be friends. Of course, common sense should prevail and you shouldn't try to rekindle an abusive relationship.
2006-06-28 05:34:34 · answer #4 · answered by FrogDog 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey you just answered your own question! Your current boyfriend is going crazy because you are still hanging onto these others guys...LET THEM GO!
If you really like your current boyfriend WHY do you need to keep these other guys waiting in the wings??? Are they your saftey net in case things don't go right with your current guy?
Baby...drop the ex's...all of them! Once you are intimate with someone...you can't just be friends! It will always...yes, always come back to hooking up again or having sex "just for old times sake or one last time".
Would you enjoy it and be as understanding if your current boyfriend had ten ex-girl friends that he talked to every day and hung around with still??? I really don't thing you would be willing to let him do that...so why are you???
2006-06-28 05:25:45 · answer #5 · answered by some1_on_the_side 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand why you would want to be friend with someone you have been intimate with! He's your ex for a reason. Even if the break up is mutual, it is still strange! You need to decide which means more to you, your present boyfriend or your friendship with your ex's.
2006-06-28 05:38:36 · answer #6 · answered by carmelbrown2001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep your friends! As long as there's no sexual tension between you and your exes, it shouldn't be a problem. How would you feel if your current man was friends with his exes? Its a two way street.
2006-06-28 05:23:11 · answer #7 · answered by loshea65 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Friends are much harder to replace than a significant other. I'd keep my friends. I've been lucky enough to have most of my break-ups being very civil. Most of my ex's and i are still friends today.
2006-06-28 05:22:48 · answer #8 · answered by Michelle's boyfriend 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how close those friends are and how you talk about them to your current boyfriend. If you go into length about how they were in bed and what they did to you, I would dump you on the spot because that is called head gaming, Knock it off and be his and only his.
2006-06-28 05:23:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he shouldnt have a problem with it
if he does
hes probably just afraid that your going to get back together with one of your exes and that youll leave him
he either loves you a lot and doesnt want to loose you
or hes just paranoid
i dont know you or him.
so i dont know which one it is.
but its perfectly ok to be friends with an ex
its a million times better than absolutely hating eachother
:]]
hope that helped
2006-06-28 05:21:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋