how can I politlely change the foods my father feeds my baby?

Question

I am blessed to have parents who care for my child while I work. But no matter what healthy foods I prepare for meals and snacks, I come home to find they ignored what I left and fed my child cookies and other junk. I would not mind if this was once in a while, but this is 5 days a week! I have thrown out the junk food they purchase, told them I want my child fed what I prepare - no good. Please, and good ideas will help!

Pam - thanks for the input, but I must disagree. I do not feel I am ruining my relationship with my parents - they asked to help me with sitting. I could not afford to pay for full time care - am single mom and already work too much. While I respect their desire to love my child, food does not equal love. both of them are morbidly obese and have health problems. I do not want them passing this down to my child.

Answer 1

Wow, this is tough. It sounds like your parents may equate food with love - they like making your child happy with junk food and sweets. It sounds like you've already done a lot in talking to them about your wishes, removing the junk food and preparing healthy meals, but to no avail. I would suggest making an appointment with your child's pediatrician and taking your parents with you and using the time to talk specifically about nutrition. Maybe it has to come from an authority figure. And maybe the pediatrician has to say that this could set the child up for health problems in the future.

Stay firm. Keep your resolve. Tell your parents that it has to be your way and that is it, otherwise you'll have to find an alternative for childcare. Your child's health is too important.

Answer 2

Speak to your pediatrician about the issue. Ask if he/she could help you by meeting with your parents and discussing how important proper nutrition is for your baby. Explain that they are caring for your child 5 days a week and you think they might listen to the doctor where they're blowing you off.

Then try this: "Mom... Dad... Dr. Jones has expressed to me some concerns about little Sarah's diet. According to the latest medical information, some of the foods she's eating have the potential to be harmful to her in several ways. I was wondering if you could come with me to her doctor's office so we could all get on the same page about what a healthy diet is for her. Dr. Jones has said it would be a really good idea for us to all meet together since you guys are such an important part of Sarah's life and she's with you so much of the day. It's really important to me... I'm concerned about her health and I know you guys are too...."

Some parents will listen to a doctor who may have *new information* about something over an adult child who just has a *new idea* about how a baby should be fed over how they fed YOU while you were growing up ("We fed you cookies and you turned out fine!")

If all else fails... well... maybe it's time to have other caretakers looking after the baby. I know... difficult and expensive... but in the long run you have to do what's best for the child. Best of luck to you...

Answer 3

You need to sit down with your folks and have a real heart-to-heart with them. Tell them that your child is to be fed only what you send and nothing else. Tell them too, that if they cannot abide by your wishes, then you will be forced to put the baby into a standard daycare environment, as much as you would hate to do that. 9 times out of 10, the parents will shape up. If they don't ... you will be forced to follow through. You MUST think of your baby before your parents' hurt feelings.

Answer 4

Wow, amazing you survived your parents! Can you imagine what they must have fed YOU!

This must be your first child.

Unfortunately you can't do it politely without hurting the feelings of your parents.

The grandparent-grandchild relationship is very special, you are not only ruining it because you have put your parents in the role of care-giver but also, you are preventing your parents from doing the job that grandparents are supposed to do: Love them unconditionally and spoil them rotten. This includes letting them eat junk food, not making them brush their teeth, etc.

According to what you said, if your child only saw your parents "once in a while", you would not mind. So what you are saying is that your parents should alter their method of grandparenting to suit YOUR needs, that's pretty selfish of you, don't you think?

You really need to assess the pros and cons of having your parents raise your child. My friend dumped her child on her parents because they offered "free" day care. By the time the child was verbal, she hated her grandmother and never wanted to go and see her. Grandma was now the disciplinarian and the little girl resented her. I, however, resented the situation my friend had created between her parents and her daughter. My children are 13 and 20 and I can count on both hands the times I have asked either my parents or my in-laws to watch my children.

Both my husband and I had very special relationships with our grandparents and that's what we wanted for our children. We worked very hard to separate sitters and day care providers from grandparents.

When you ask your parents to watch your child you are in effect asking them to raise your child; you're going to get a sibling out of it.

So, either quit your job so that you can feed your child only what you want them to eat, put them in day care where they'll be happy to take your money and feed your child what you request or keep quiet, it's the price you pay for free day care.

Remember you said it was Blessing to have parents who care for you child; ACT like it.

Answer 5

Tell them that this is your child, and you want what's best for him. He's growing so fast and needs proper nutrition to fuel his little body and keep him healthy. If they don't start feeding him the healthy meals you've prepared for him, then you'll no longer be needing their services...you'll put him in a daycare center where your wishes will be respected.

Answer 6

I agree with the other answer --- ask your doctor to write a prescription stating that your child can only have nutritious healthy meals. I totally sympathize with you about the situation. Also, if that still doesn't work, have them watch videos about what can happen when children are obese.

Answer 7

This is just grandparents spoiling theri grandkids in ways that they could not spoil their own kids. Sit them down explain to them that you appreciate their help, but this is what you feel is best for your child and they need to respect your wishes. They will always disagree with you though.

Answer 8

i would tell them that you want it your way since its your child...expain that they might cause your child to become overweight because of the foods that they are give him/her.. If that doesnt help i would try to look for other daycare

Answer 9

just make it doctor's orders, politely; or you can share watching the show You're (kid's grandparents are) Killing the Kids..lol. ask them to watch that show.