my boyfreind got a girl pregnant about 5 months before we met, the baby is now 8 months old. we are engaged and have been for 7 months so its not like its just any relationship. she knows were engaged to be married next year. but she refuses to let me see the baby, i would understand if this was just a girl he had been with for a few months but it isnt. but as he doest pay child support through the csa and gives her 30pounds a week instead he thinks that if he demands for her to let me see the child that she will go to the csa and claim off him and he will have to pay more than he does which we cant afford. But yet it is ok for her to just let random guys who she has only been seeing for a few week to spend time with their child. Does any one else think that she is in the wrong and if theres anything i can do or say to her?
thanks
2006-06-28 04:24:29 · 14 answers · asked by carinya m 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Does the father get to see the child? Can't you see the child when he does?
I would go to CSA yourself. It is always best to go through the "authorities" regarding paying child support, for the simple reason that one parent can't use that as a threat. If the child is only 8 months old, it is not going to get any better as the child gets older.
Has he considered getting custody of the child?
2006-06-28 04:31:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, if I were in this lady's situation, I probably wouldn't let my ex-boyfriend's current girlfriend see my baby, either. Maybe this lady is spiteful/upset that they broke up. Honestly, and I don't mean to sound unkind, you have no claim to this child...you didn't give birth to this baby, you're not the baby's adoptive mother, you really don't have any rights to her.
Since you mentioned "30 pounds" I assume you're British? I'm not sure how your legal system works there, but if your fiancee would pay child support through the courts, then he could probably have some type of visitation rights or joint custody. In that case, if he had the baby for the weekend at your guys' place, there's nothing the baby's mother could do.
2006-06-28 05:04:22 · answer #2 · answered by brevejunkie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I always advise that the legal approach is the best! if it is important for you to build a relationship with this child ... then you know what you need to do! I just want to say that at ANY moment the woman could go through the court system and get her child support raised. while you are worried about the increase, and i do understand that, the time you are losing with the child is priceless. I would make the first step and get a custody order and take my chances on the support order... but that's me.
2006-06-28 04:35:32 · answer #3 · answered by JayneDoe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well there is no where that says she has to let you see the baby that is really between him and her, and right now she seems pretty upset so you probably wont get to see the baby unless he has some type of visitation. I know it messed up but you really just have to deal with the situation from a distance. maybe try calling her inviting her out for lunch or come to the house with the baby. take the baby a gift over. just let her know you want to talk to her cause you both have to be in your soon to be husband lifes you cause you are marring him and her cause of the baby. so you really need to do some thinking
2006-06-28 05:33:12 · answer #4 · answered by eva 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right now she can do anything she wants. Until he is paying child support through the CSA he basically has no rights.
2006-06-28 04:39:33 · answer #5 · answered by The Invisible Woman 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like to me she is just jellious of you because you are with him.....Yes i do think its very inmature of her to be that way...If you are a good person and havent done anything wrong i dont see why else she would behave in such a manner. Maybe your man should go to court and get visitaiton of the baby then she wouldnt be able to make up such silly rules. Good luck to you dear
2006-06-28 04:30:31 · answer #6 · answered by sandy T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its her kid. Its her choice. And since you now have the guy, she doesn't want you having the child's affection too. Its normal and pretty common, even if it is petty on her part. If you want to see a baby, have one with him.
2006-06-28 04:39:48 · answer #7 · answered by Velken 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she looks at it this way...ur marrying him...so u will be that baby's stepmother....maybe she's afraid of u devoping a stronger bond with the baby than she has. OR maybe she's just being a b@#$%, like women can be. Have u asked her why??
2006-06-28 04:31:57 · answer #8 · answered by It'sMe23 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Until you guys are ready to go through the court system there isn't much you can do other than ask nicely and hope she changes her mind, as she realizes you aren't going anywhere.
2006-06-28 04:28:31 · answer #9 · answered by nikki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a lawyer & fight in court then she has to let you be around the baby. By court order.
2006-07-04 11:35:38 · answer #10 · answered by Fun girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋