I know this is really dumb asking a bunch of strangers, but I don't want to ask my friends. My boyfriend starting hanging out with an old friend of his. And every since then he has completly changed and not for the better. He has totally become verbally abusive, and I am afraid he will soon become physically abusive. We have been together since college (5 years) and I do love him very much. So now the question, should I like talk to him, and see if we can't work through this, should I just leave him, Or should I make him choose me or his friend. Please help I am so confused and scared!
2006-06-28 04:18:20 · 27 answers · asked by riley_stjames 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I don't know if it is to late to answer, as this is my first time on this site. But here is my advice. talk. if that doesn't work, oust him. I believe women should be treated like ladies. no matter what.
2006-06-28 07:15:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 0⤋
Well, first of all he needs to stop hanging with this buddy of his, but secondly it can't all be the friends influence. This part of him - is HIM and maybe his true colors come out around the buddy?!?!?
I'm not really sure, have never been in a physically abusive relation (but have had my share of mental abuse by boyfriends) if I were you - I would RUN get away from him. I think even if the buddy was out of his life, he wouldn't change. Maybe he's been on his "best behavior" until now. But something like that doesn't come and go depending on the audience.
So, go now before he does do something -- or before you marry him and divorce is alot harder than an every day breakup.
2006-06-28 04:24:31 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ya i would talk to him, like have you both in a room tell him to shut up and listin, cuz your scared and he needs to know this, if he is becoming verbally abusive then ya there is no doubt if you dont talk to him that it will turn to physicaljust ask him why have you changed since you been with your friend, i know you love me and all but why are you treating me this way, just be straight up and honest with him, you have a right to speak your mind, to him if he doesnt want to listen then that's his fault, but dont let him leave until he does hear you out, cuz you hiding your feelings is only making it worse sweetie, good luck to you, and hope for the best
2006-06-28 04:22:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First talk to him, be honest in the way you are feeling, let him know that there has been a change in him and it is affecting your relationship. Dont do it in a aggressive way, or he will get immediatly defensive. Dont make him choose between the two of you, that never ends well. Just tell him how you feel, and if he starts being a jerk, or doesnt want to listen, then its time to move on as hard as it may be.
2006-06-28 04:24:31 · answer #4 · answered by Cash K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be concerned if he is becoming abusive in any way. Are his "friends" promoting his increased use of drugs or alcohol?
Let him know how you feel. Better to fix it now or call it quits than be confused and scared. The longer it goes on the harder it will be for him to correct and longer you will be miserable.
If there are drugs involved get out now.
2006-06-28 04:27:36 · answer #5 · answered by Gregory B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before I got married I was in an awful relationship. My ex was physically, emotionally and verbally abusive. Don't let it get out of hand talk to him if you are safe from his physical abuse right now. If you need to talk to some one email me or im me. I would like to help if I can. Best of luck in any of your decisions!
2006-06-28 04:54:13 · answer #6 · answered by jawmom_03 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Friend...people are like friday nights...there is always another one coming in a few days. Do not take any type abuse. Enjoy a week-end alone and on Monday start looking for a new friend.
2006-06-28 04:29:28 · answer #7 · answered by norwood 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When the river sounds... it's because water it brings.
Your b/f has started down a path that can and will lead to a life of misery, pain and who knows what else. I you can't talk to him and work this out... walk away because you in the end will be hurt in many ways. If he feels that his friends are more important that the one who loves him... then he doesn't deserve you. Many God lead you down the right path and may you find happiness.
2006-06-28 04:48:16 · answer #8 · answered by papo9112001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a friend who's been married for 3 years. she has two kids and her husband is very nice. But they argue a lot. over stupid things, too. She says that he has always been a bit abusive. Then one day, I was there, he got drunk and she locked her door to keep him out. he yelled and was violent. if you let him continue to be violent, he will become more and more agressive.you should tell him to stop acting like that or else you'll dump him. and if he doesn't stop, then really dump him. you'll find someone else taht really cares about you.
2006-06-28 04:33:01 · answer #9 · answered by Diego A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you never shoul allow abuse of any type, if you allow the verbal abuse you;re opening the door for him to continue , doesnt matter how much you love him or for how long you've been together the most important in the world is you, if he wants to behave like that he doesnt deserve you .
Relationship issuppose to be something to give you strenght not to scare you .
Believe in you and dont be afraid
2006-06-28 04:23:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are seriously afraid that he is going to get get physically abusive, you need to get out now. If you think that you are safe, sit him down, talk to him, let him know your feelings. He is old enough to know whats right and wrong. You dont need him if he isnt willing to put you in first position.
2006-06-28 04:25:21 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋