Will a man who doesn't want children ever change his mind?

Question

I love him, and will not leave him either way, but I have always wanted kids, and he never has. He is 35, I am 31, we have been together for 10 years, married for 6. He loves his nieces and nephew, and is very good with them. He is responsible, hard working, very family oriented. Should I move on from this and enjoy my life with him, or keep trying to convince him that we would be good parents?

Answer 1

A man could always change his mind. Don't push him because that might hurt your marriage.

I would talk to him though.

Answer 2

Why doesn't he want children? Children are a big investment (a good investment, but a big one). They require a lot of time, money, love and hard work. What you have now will not be yours in the future, because children are self-centered and the world revolves around them. While he loves his nieces and nephews, they are not his and he can return them to their parents when they cry. He does not have to lose sleep because they are up all night crying, because they are hungry, scared, sick. There are some people who do not like children of their own. You cannot change him, but you could try talking with him and find out why he doesn't want children. You made a commitment to him knowing his feelings about children, now you should see it through. If you were married in Catholic faith, he would have agreed to accept all children willingly from God. This is a contract that you both would have made before you could have been allowed to marry in a Catholic Church or Faith (only one exception exists that I know of where you don't have to agree to children that is a medical exception). But you need to find out why he is against children of his own.

Answer 3

I was never blessed with children. And when I married, it was to someone who was obsessed with children but couldn't have any of her own. Which she knew before we married and never told me. So children are a blessing. However, I learned something from that, if a marraige can survive not having them, then love hard and do that. If he loves you and respects you, then you should be able to talk to him from your heart about anything. But don't push too hard because you really want support and committment to having children. There can't be any dissent because a child's life and future are in the balance. Try to convince him how much YOU want a child and let him know that there is more than enough love for him and a new addition. Cause love is the answer to all the questions.

Hope that helps.

peace and B well,

J

Answer 4

my best friend was 24 and married a 44 year old man. he had a 17 year old daughter and 16 and 12 year old son and said he would never have any more. He was done raising children. She said she wanted 4 and was determined to get them. He said if she wants kids she better go somewhere else. It's been 5 years, she has 2 kids, 1 on the way and they plan to have another

Answer 5

If you ask me, men change their minds more often than women! It is possible that he could change his mind. Maybe he just isn't done having you all to himself! Kids take up all of your time, believe me! Maybe you should try to find out why he feels that way. One day after spending time with the nieces and nephews, say something about what a good father he would be and see what his answer is. Really listen to what he says. And don't worry, you have plenty of time to be able to have children. My last one was born when I was 38, just as my mother was with me. And there are women who have babies into their 40's, just look at actresses. Your husband may even entertain the thought of adoption. The only way to find out is to have conversations with him. Let him give his opinion and you can give yours, just don't make it an argument. Children are one of the biggest joys, but not every minute of every day. Good luck and I hope things work out to your advantage!

Answer 6

Some men are like this. Firstly, your relationship is most important. You need to respect his not wanting to have kids but also make him aware of your feelings. Let him know how much you would like to be a mom. Ask him to put himself in your shoes. How would he feel to never have a child. To never be pregnant like other woman and to be able to experience all that a mother will experience. Tell him that if he doesn't want kids that you love him and will abide by his decision.
I bet as he gets older he will come to a point where his vitality will look him in the face and he will change his mind about having a child.

Answer 7

It's hard to tell! It seems you've discussed child bearing before and he refused. You also ask if you should keep trying to convince him that you would be good parents. Maybe you should leave things at that for a few weeks (He might be fed up if you keep raising the issue) Then speak to him calmly, gently, tell him that you always wanted children, understand his decision not to want any but is there any way in which he could consider your feelings? I'm afraid that's about it!

Answer 8

Im a 33 old with no children of my own so this is a good qustion. I have been married for 4 years and my wife has 3 kids while i have none of my own. At this point in your husbands life he might just be saying that, dont worry you still have a few years left. I have said the same in the past but as i get older i do wanna have kids of my own. Now it may be to late cuzz my wife is having problems with blocked tubes. Tell him not to wait until its to late!!

Answer 9

That is very hard Question. Well i had went thew the same thing with my husband.I was very mad with him, I say that i would leave him and move on if i did not get what i went becauas i relly went kids and i did. Today i have a 15 month old son. But that i love very much and i still have my husband lol. Try to keep on talking to him. Good luck

Answer 10

Without a doubt he will not change his mind. As each year passes, you feel a biological tug. He feels nothing except one year older, one year closer to retirement. You must let this go or it will certainly cause more and more friction in your relationship. Whether or not he would make a good father is a moot point. It only matters whether or not he wants to be one. If you want to play hardball tell him to get a vasectomy so you can finally get on with your life and let go of the desire to have children.

Answer 11

I would just move on, and enjoy your life with him. I would not keep pressuring him, otherwise you will take a good relationship and in the end you will destroy what you have.

Speaking from experience, if someone is ammenent about not wanting children, there is nothing you can do to make them change their mind. I don't want children, and my wife has learned and has accepted that fact.