HELP me!!!?

Question

ive just started college, and im having a little trouble making friends... can someone help me out... how do i approach someone without sounding weird or acting weird??? and how do i get through to people who act tough>???

Answer 1

This may sound weird.. but when I started college.. I was just open and honest.. and asked people.. hey, do you mind if I hang out with you.. or .. I don't have any friends.. do you wanna be my friend.. .or .. things like that... you'd be surprised how many friends I had from being open and honest...

Answer 2

This is a tough problem that a lot of people face. According to IONA (link below), "It takes effort and a willingness to risk in order to create a whole new social network. Your social skills and self-esteem, as well as your willingness to put yourself out there will be tested during this time." In fact, I'd suggest reading the IONA article. What's more: I've gone through this, personally, a few years ago.

At any rate, the gist of the article, and the from what I've learned in my experience, is that you should join clubs or find activities that you find interesting around campus. Find people who share your general outlook and try to strike up a conversation. If you're really worried about sounding weird, join a club and let other people start up the first few conversations with you (which is how I got by). Another route in clubs is to ask questions about the club to club members about club-related things. Sadly, this is too diverse for me to give examples.

If your campus has a student lounge or cafeteria, I would definitely look into hanging around in there one day and seeing if you see people who look interesting. Then just casually stroll up to them and ask if you could sit down with the group or join in whatever they're doing/talking about. Don't worry about appearing weird-- a lot of people are uncomfortable in new situations like that.

The key is to make the first move and be casual. Finding friends is not finding a job. In college, there are thousands and thousands of people. If a few think you're weird, there'll be many more who would want you as a friend. Keep your eyes open. Ask questions. Join groups or clubs. Volunteer. Read the IONA article.

Answer 3

You can start with the people who are immediately around you. Typically, people kind of sit in the same places in class every day. So you can see a couple of people who usually sit near you, and introduce yourself. You will already have something to talk about because you have the same class. Then you can ask if the person wants to grab lunch after class in the student union or whatever.

It doesn't seem weird if you introduce yourself to people. In fact, most people will think it's downright friendly. It can be as simple as, "Hey, I've seen you in this class, but I haven't met you before. My name's ______ ." They will then tell you their name, and there you go! You can ask about their major or what they're into or whatever and you'll be in a conversation.

Also, in the place where you live, you can introduce yourself to your neighbors. Invite a group of neighbors over for a video, for example.

I'm not sure what you're worried about as far as "people who act tough". Maybe if you have a specific situation in mind you can add more detail and we can help you more.

Answer 4

The number one way to make friends and meet people is to act like you are not looking for friends. Every once in a while make a comment when you are standing next to someone about something really basic... like food, sports.. whatever. And to get through to people who act tough, just meet them at or above their level. Just act kewl, indifferent, and like you have all the self confidence in the world... and you will see a difference in the people that talk to you.

Answer 5

Just starting conversations is good (as stated above), but in case that's not real easy for you to do...

Then, campus clubs and organizations are great for making friends. When I was in school I joined a fraternity, was on the student senate, and was involved with the campus-activites-board. School academic departments usually have clubs too--like Phys. Ed, Biology, etc... If you participate in stuff like this, I guarantee your circle of friends will grow. Enjoy this time in your life, and best of luck!

Answer 6

Don't bother with the people who act all tough and cool.
Try to join some clubs or groups that share in your interests.
For those people who are standoffish, just always be polite and respectful. Just say a simple "Hi" or "How Ya' doin' " when you see them in the halls.
Good Luck and don't sweat it about the people who are stuck up.
Peace

Answer 7

Consider joining a group. Not just sororities but other fun classes or groups on campus or off. As far as approching someone, consider listening to them. Ask them something they can rattle on about. Then listen, really look and feel interested in their story. Ask genuine questions, like where they are from or what they might miss about home. Listen for clues as to what else to ask. Now as far as folks who act tough, what do you mean? Bullies on campus? Or people with mean personalities? Either way, I would just avoid folks like that. But if you mean quiet and distant, a tough shell to put folks off, then back to my original suggestions.

Answer 8

first try asking them where something is and start to make small talk. say you sit next to a girl in a class say "i like your earrings where did you get them?" maby then she will carry on the conversation. as for the people who look tough, they just might be having a hard time making friends also and are having a hard time opening up to people. so try to ask them for like... a pen then you start the conversation. good luck!

Answer 9

Just go up and start talking to someone don't worry about seeming weird.
I walk up to new people all the time.

Answer 10

Try to listen in to conversations that people are having before class start. See if you know anything about the topic and try to join in. You never know where you can find a friend.