How does everyone deal with sibling rivalry in their thirties?

Question

I have a sister who is so jealous she just breeds negativity. I don't even talk to her anymore, but would like to learn how to repair a relationship.

Thanks for all the great replies, it stinks that we can't all just love and be happy for each other. Life is too short for the drama.

Answer 1

I'm in a similar relationship with my sister.
The only thing you can do is love her from a distance.
Call her with little things like, "You were on my mind" and ask her how she's doing. AVOID anything that might start conflict.

Keep the lines of communication open, but keep your business to yourself. Helps me.

=^)

Answer 2

Honey, my brother & I are in our forties & the rivalry is still there (on his part). I leave him alone - I don't call, I don't make any attempt to be a part of his life & when we bump up against one another at family functions I choose a corner of the house & stay there - away from him, his third wife, his two step-daughters. He's so nuts he even reported me to Adult Protective Services & said I was abusing my handicapped mother - I had to be investigated, which was dropped, but nevertheless, he would do that to me just to cause me trouble. You don't need any negativity in your life; just let it go & IF you have to see her, be polite. Treat her as you would a stranger you've met at a party or on the street. Don't give her anything to work with & she can't bother you. Good luck my dear. I hope it gets easier for you. For YOUR sake, not hers!!!

Answer 3

I never knew sibling rivalry existed in the thirties. I thought that it vanished after teenage.

Anyway, it's mighty sporty of you to feel good about your sister still. Try to be in contact with her constantly. After you're married, I think it'd be too cool if you WANTED to contact your sister at all, coz after marriage, person changes and doesn't feel as much close to his siblings as before marriage.

Also try to keep in touch with her kids (if any) and show affection to them, that'd surely help her pacifying her heart. She knows she can not, neither could you express love for each other in this age, but let her kids be a middle way for expressing love for each other.

Hope you understood what I meant. Keep your heart open. You're a generous person.

Answer 4

I am 41 and my brother is 34. We have never gotten along and it took his wife to get it all figured out. My mother has always told me how wonderful my brother is and how I pretty much suck. Turns out she always tells my brother how wonderful I am and how he pretty much sucks. Now that we know this, we have decided to start over and see where we can go from here. Maybe you need to try to have some sort of conversation with her and try to find out where the jealousy and negativity started.

Answer 5

I and My sisters and brothers have sibling rivaly just as you do, and my mom makes sure it never leaves us. I got over mine pretty much because I just dont go around most of my family unless I have to go around them.