I'm having behavioral trouble with my 20-month-old. Shall I call the exorcist?

Question

My rant is too long to fit into the space Y! Answers allows. Please read this blog entry and give your advice. http://www.opendezign.com/elblogatisto/?p=400
Thanks

Answer 1

Wow, lots of negative people answering your question. They really shouldn't be responding to a tired mom.

I have a 2 year old and they are a challenge. One minute they are throwing a tantrum, the next they are kissing you and snuggling. It is all part of the package! Just be consistent --over and over again--- and he will get the picture. Talk to your Dr about some techniques as well. They are there to help you with every aspect of child rearing, not just physical health.

Give yourself a break and try to get out of the house without the kiddo. A lunch with the girls, or even grocery shopping alone helps recharge the batteries.

Answer 2

I read your predicament on your blog. I applaud your efforts so far. I am a mother, and daycare provider so I will tell you what works for me.

Remember, even a sweet 20 month old can manipulate you. That is just part of their nature. Toddlers are selfish. That is just how they are wired at this age. They will do anything for attention. Even negative attention is good.

The thing that will have the most impact on your son right now is ignoring the behavior. Toddlers hate to be ignored. It is hard, especially when they are breaking the sound barrier at the grocery store. When they realize they are not getting a reaction from you, eventually a lightbulb will come on, and they will stop. As for the hitting, while harder to ignore, he is only doing it to get a reaction from you. He won't understand the concept of hurt right now, so save that for when he is 3. If you are playing with him, and he begins hitting, just get up and walk away from him. This signals that playtime is over.

The most important thing is to be consistent. Especially when they are screaming for something you don't want them to have. If you give in once, you are doomed forever. Also, think and act simply. This is a toddler. A simple "no" spoken calmly and clearly works best. You might have to repeat it 1,000 times, but it will work. (And the next time you might only have to repeat it 500 times, but it gets better.) Also, this works for my husband and I, make sure you and your wife are completely consistent with each other in regards to discipline.

Stay calm, keep it simple, and enjoy your son. When he does something good, heap on the praise. Spend time everyday just having fun together. Good luck and God bless!

Answer 3

As a mother of 6, ages 4 to22, I can tell you that sometimes getting behavioral problems under control can be harder on the parent than the child. Try to remember tht you are the parent. It takes alot of patience, alot of consistency. Time outs work well with younger children. Two minutes dosen't seem that long to us but, it seems like forever to someone that young. Don't get involved with a power struggle. Lay down the law and follow through. There is no use getting upset, it won't be productive. It may take some time but your child is barely a toddler. The 2's and 3's can be very trying but, if you lay down the foundation you should find that they outgrow alot of this. Hope this helps.

Answer 4

Okay people -If you are not going to bother reading his blog DO NOT COMMENT!
Sir, you are dealing with the terrible twos which really shows up around 20 months and will go away in time for college. You seem to be getting a handle on it and I wish you the best. I'm having the same problem adjusting to the fact that my sweet little innocent baby is now a little boy who needs discipline. Don't worry - you seem to have a good plan. Just be consistent.

Answer 5

If it wasn't for the fact that my 27 month old doesn't do #4 in your blog, oh, and the fact that he's 7 months older than your child, I would suggest that they were twins who were separated at birth. :)

My older son started his "terrible twos" early...at about 19 or 20 months, if I remember correctly.

Everyone I've talked with (pediatrician, daycare provider [when he was in daycare], friends with kids, people here at Yahoo! Answers) tells me this is normal. Sometimes, out of the blue, he'll get up from playing with his trucks and turn into a human tornado and just completely wreck his play room. Not picking out one toy at a time and getting bored with it and moving on...oh no. He runs around the room squealing as loud as his little lungs will get and just THROWS anything he can manage to pick up.

From what people have told me, this is normal. It's your child's way of testing you. My boys' pediatrician suggests to ignore this behavior...because he's seeking attention...good, bad or other. Just pretend he's not standing there screaming for a cookie, or destroying his play room or crying those big crocodile tears because you won't give him a cup of water RIGHT THEN AND THERE.

Answer 6

2 years olds are one big behavioral problem babe! It does sound like you are coming up with things to counter your childs behavior. Just be patient and remember that this too shall pass. We often call our child the exorcist and devil-child (jokingly of course) but when it comes down to it, she's 2! Keep doing what you are doing and be consistent but not too hard on your child. 2 year olds need love and affection and attention. Reward positive behavior and discourage negative behavior by either ignoring or redirecting or just not giving the attention he's looking for. Good Luck!!

Answer 7

the hitting and kicking: he needs a reaction from you that will shock him and if he does it to someone else he needs to know that a public place is not going to keep you from taking him into an empty bathroom and possibly spanking him. both of my sons did this and we tried the bathroom thing, when they realized that there were no witnesses they would shush and listen.
the throwing thing: do not use 20 month vocabulary, that brings you down to him you want him to come up to your level and understand you. when he throws something what you have thought to do is good, but when he picks it up make him give it to you and you need to put it up out of sight. do not praise him for picking it up just say thank you in a very loving voice then distact him with an activity to stop the throwing.
the request and fake crying: walk away. if he does the above or anything else put him to be and turn off the lights close the door and go away. when the crying stops and he is quiet go get him even if he falls asleep wake him up. take to what ever it was that he wanted do not give it to him until he says sorry or the 20 month old version sorry then you say thank you and give him what he wanted.
devil angel: if you have to smile or laugh then leave the room. you need to explain to him that bad things (and use these words and really use you face when you say this) 'never ever' get rewarded. then tell him if he wants a hug or kiss he needs to do something good he is young enough that examples for him won't help so you'll have to give him something good to do then reward him greatly.
the screaming: UNEXCEPTABLE!!! he needs a very shocking reaction from you. a good slap in the mouth. if you are in public then take him to the bathroom, slap him and explain to him why you did it.
i have 2 boys ages 2 and 4 and they have done all of this plus biting, by the way if that starts a swift smack on the mouth will do. everything i've told you has worked on them, especially the taking them into the bathroom thing. we usually just have to talk to them when one of them has to be taken to the bathroom because they realize that there is no one around to witness anything. we started this at about 1 1/2 on our younger one because he was learning from his brother and added the biting.

Answer 8

I am SO NOT reading your blog now or anytime soon. 20-month old and you're ranting? Get real! An exorcist? Hopefully that was just a joke, because it's certainly not funny.

Answer 9

Have no fear.. my son is 20months as well... I have been asking the same questions... He's all boy and temper temper. He has no concern for anything we say or anything we ask him... We have as a last resort tryed lightly spanking him and that doesn't even phase him.. I bought a time out chair.. yea okay... I wouldn't worry were all going trough it at this age.. I think it's just a phase.. my doctor told me not to worry... that some boys are just more prone to be descrutive and temper prone.. She told me to just keep staying consistant with him and the rules. He's loving at one moment and the next it's like someone has taken over his body.. I hope it gets better..

Answer 10

I'm not exactly sure why so many people seem to be offended by you...and leaving not so nice remarks. Maybe I have the problem. I'm just lucky it's yer kid and not mine. Thank you! Have a great day. Oh yeah, exorcism, only if you believe in God and the Devil.