What do I do about my 4 yr. old son? He thinks he runs the show!?

Answer 1

It's time to stop being his friends and start being his parents.

Answer 2

do not read books about this. they sugar coat a lot. what you should do is watch you child and find out what is causing it. are there other siblings? my 4 almost 5 year old does the same thing. we tell him here is you choice you can sit down (or whatever the case may be) or you can choose to get a spanking. we give him 2 chances the first if he says no then we ask him are you sure and the second is state the choices again. the first few times he tested it and it didn't work out too well for him. he is now understanding that he has a choice and it is his alone, that choice belongs to nobody else but him. we try not to separate him from the rest of the household because we want our 2 year old to understand that he can have his own choices. spankings still happen, but not as often.

Answer 3

He only runs the show because you havent taken the lead part.

Pick a disciplin regimen. *Sitting them in a corner facing the wall works wonders I hear* Make the punishments extreamly light, but have much more severe ones for disrupting the punishment routine.

Example. Running in the house. 10 seconds in the corner... Not going to the corner the first time when told.... 2 minutes... Getting up from the corner before you were told to get up, 10 minutes. Saying anything while in the corner... Time starts over. Repeat offence the same day, the time doubles. Every punishment must be carried out to the end. An audiable timer with a countdown feature helps for this.

Is this scientificly proven to work? Well I dont know. But I have seen it used with good effect.

The real problem with this method is you have to remain in control and devote time to your child. Somthing most parents are unwilling to do many times.

Answer 4

Ever hear of a spanking. It is not illegal to spank a child as a punishment, but there are limits. If you are spanking hard enough to leave welts which stay more than a few short moments, then you are taking it too far. Never spank using weapons (paddles, belts, coat hangers) Always use an open hand, and always spank on the bottom, or smack the hands. The object is to make it sting, not hurt. and only a couple of whacks are necessary, you don't have to flog them to death.

Main thing is keep yourself under controll, and they will get the picture and start behaving.

Always remember to sit them down and talk to them both before and after the spanking to let them know that they are being punished for a certain behavior, and let them know you still love them.

Capitol punishment if done correctly is still the form of punishment which will yeald the best results.

Answer 5

Children need clearly defined boundaries. He needs to know what he can/cannot do and if he breaks the rules then punish him either by putting him in a naughty corner, on the naughty stool or a timeout area - in which he can only leave when he is ready to apologize (He must appologize telling you WHY he is sorry). He also needs to be rewarded for positive behaviour - a good way to do this is to have a rewards chart with which he moves up a peg for his positive behaviour and down a peg for negative, when he reaches the top you reward him with something like a trip to the pool/park or a new dvd or something to that effect.

I think you will find this really helpful and I wish you all the luck.

Answer 6

Not all children are alike and what might work good for one wont for another. No one likes being told what to do big or small. Kids have a way of doing the opposite of what you want them to do so if he is crying tell him to cry louder and watch he will think you are crazy and will stop since he isnt getting the reaction he wanted to get. Kids might be small but they are brilliant at learning how to push adults buttons to get what they want. Spanking a child only proves to them that the parent has lost control and is frustrated. It is all a matter of patience and understanding and trial and error. Keep him busy with tasks that he thinks are for bigger kids and make him feel important. Try never to argue with him , tell him no and why not one time that's it. If he doesn't listen then set him in his room and tell him " I told you no didnt I." and then close the door.
I would love to see the day that parents who believe in spanking their children w ould start getting beat at work every time they showed up late or if they made a mistake on a job. What makes a child so much different than an adult when it comes to making mistakes and being whipped? Adults will fight back and a child is to little to defend themselves thats the difference . Remember he has only been here 4 years so he is bound to not understand alot of reasons why he should or shouldn't be doing things. ONe thing that worked with both of my boys was I would tell them when they had a beard like santa claus then they could do what they wanted but until that time they do what I say no matter how stupid they think it is.
If he likes to throw fits in the store right before he starts to throw one stomp your feet and act like he does. Trust me he will get imbarrassed and stop.

Answer 7

He runs the show because he "TRAINED YOU". i think that you need some guidance, and solutions that are consistent,,spanking is ok for a once in a while shock,,to the but.. soon they will get desensitized and spanking wont work,, i believe you tell him to stop the behavior, and tell him again, then say what will be the results if he does not obey then stick to it. I truly believe that taking something away from them is the worst thing that can happen whether it is tv a toy, play time the right to be in the same room with you or others.. and stick to it nomatter how much hysterical behavior throwing u p or holding his breath..just stick to it, he will get over it but be coonsistant and start your new program or "RULES FROM THE PARENTS"

Answer 8

A great thing to do, in general, is to read about childhood development - so you can understand what stage he is in, and how much is normal, and why he is behaving the way he is.
Try your local library to find a book with advice/instruction based in a developmental setting- that can offer you tips on how to deal with the difficulties present in each stage in a loving and clever and effective way by targeting the root, not the outward behavior.
:)
You can probably also go to the 'surviving motherhood' website (a show on TLC channel) and visit the forum, or post a question like that, and get all kinds of advice from other mothers!!

Answer 9

You need to take control. Set behaviorial guidelines and stick with them. If your 4 yr. old disobeys the guidelines you've set, a "time out" chair away from any distractions is a good tool to use. Set a time limit (5 min) to sit there. As long as they stay put for your time limit, you're good to go. If they get up before the time limit is up, add a minute for each time they get up. It will take LOADS of patience, but it will be well worth it in the end.

Answer 10

Well, I grew up in a family where spanking and strict discipline was the answer. I think sometimes kids really need a beating -=not something drastic=- but like a good spanking or two to really learn who's in control. Don't let him run things now, or else later on it'll be more difficult to discipline him. Especially if he watches alot of television.

Answer 11

I have a 4 yr old boy as well, and he used to think he ran the show too, Now I give him 2 options( e.g. what clothes to wear, what's for dinner) 3 nights per week. So he now thinks he is a great big help for me.