Stupid dads?

Question

They all think they know what's right for us. At another side we have our own plans. Now please think about this for a minute:

The percentage of our success with our parents' plans is 50 50. And the success percentage with our own ideas and plans is also 50 50.

Now why do they want us to do what they think is right? What if fail by their plans? That would be their fault right?

I'd like them to let us follow our own dreams. And if we fail, that would be our own fault and there's no one else to blame but ourselves.

I want to study Musics, but dad permits not. This sucks!

What do you think about your dad?

Answer 1

If your parent/s are footing the bill, well, yes, that can suck if other alternatives are moot.

Stick to basic education and something that can help you earn your own living. Besides, some of the skills will be useful towards a successful career in music -- computers, business, social skills, creative writing, etc.. Ask around about this.

Then, when you are on your own, do your music thing.

Have you thought about starting up your own DJ gig, and doing your work in night clubs?

I did what I wanted, but I paid for it all on my own.

Answer 2

First of all, your Dad is not stupid, but he is authoritarian. However, if he is like most Dads in the world, he loves you and he thinks he is doing what is best for you.

What I think you should do is when the both of you are calm, relaxed and in a good mood, try to have a serious, heart-to-heart talk with your Dad. Try to explain your point of view and listen to his point of view of as well. Try to find areas of agreement and maybe there is a way to compromise on this issue. Perhaps, you can study Music, if you will also agree to study something else as well. I don't know the solution, of course, but you and your Dad should make all efforts to try to work it out.

I am not suggesting that you are wrong about wanting to follow your dream. On the contrary, I hope you will follow your dream and wish you the best of luck.

My mother and father have passed away, but I love and respect both of them.

Answer 3

You miss the bigger picture here. I see this so many times where children think they know more than their parents. Their is a time in your life when you will have your own say so and do as you please. Because children rush to grow up they miss out on a good and wholesome life. Then when it is all said and done they blame the parents because they feel they were robbed of their childhood. You forget they have been through what you are going through now and they have decided to have children. without them you would not be here. They are not perfect and no one is but while you are still a child and might I add in the learning stages of your life then the rules set before you are there for learning purposes. The learning your parents try to teach you are not to build your future but to prepare you for the world. From the time you are born until you become an adult Your parents main goal is that when you leave you can cope with life not your talents.
You say you want to study music - than what is wrong with you doing so once you turn 18 and able to be on your own. is it so important that you be able to do what you want, than to allow your parents the time to teach you some very important things that will help you for the rest of your life.
Has it entered your mind that by your father telling you no that he is teaching you that we don't always get what we want in life.
Don't get me wrong I been down this road myself but you need to slow down and listen to your parents and stop trying to rush your life.
My father was an abusive drunk who use to beat me so yeah I know a bad father and only wish he could have been there as a good role for me to follow I had to learn the hard way in life and it has been a struggle all the way but not every one has a father like I did. It just is so disturbing to see the kids of the world think they have to grow up way to fast.
trust me life moves very fast once you hit adulthood enjoy the time you have with your parents. listen and learn all the little lessons they need to teach you be a kid and look follow your dreams and your goals when your time has come but right now it is not your time but those who brought you life.
best of luck.

Answer 4

Amin, i have full solidarity with you.You should exercise what you feel is the best for you.This way only we have reached the global technical and cultural revolution.If we dont think ahead of the time then we saturate ourselves and our capabilities and add up to the sea of competition around.How we would feel if we were all hunters and farmers like our age old ancestors......to move ahead with the times is justified.Just make your dad secure about you and let him know that his suggestion is valued.He will then allow you.
I rebelled a lot in my student age and now my father knows that i am a wild horse and cannot be tamed.So,he co-operates a lot with me these days.

Answer 5

I'm lucky. All my life my father has honestly just wanted me to be happy, even if it meant studying something he thought was totally ridiculous. He always supported me like when I wanted a steer for a school project, when I got a solo in the choir, etc. It was always my mom who was against everything I wanted to do and never supported me in anything. Infact, it still is. My Dad wants me to stay in Germany because it makes me happy living here, my mother thinks I should go back to living in the US because she misses her grandson.

I think everyone, except the really lucky, have at least one parent who isn't supportive and thinks their way is best. You just do what you can to not go crazy while under their roof. Once you are out and making your own money, study whatever you want. Its not fair, but I am certain we will all wind up doing the same, by accident, to our own kids.

Answer 6

This happens with every dad who has unwanted infatuation.
More percentage of dads are like that. because they do not allow their children to have their own experience in life. You can take their advise whenever you are in confusion. At the same time respect them because they have given their time, money, love and everything to bring you to this stage. A time will come when they stop such attitude. For this you have to marry and become independent. Then they almost stop poking their nose in your affair.
But parents are parents for that matter. They are also human beings man? Try to understand their concern about you, instead of calling them names.

Answer 7

Yeah I agree with you... Like you should have full authority over your own life... But remember he's there to help you... He's your dad, he cares for you... And only wants the best from you... But than again dads sometimes do take things to far for there own children... To a point where they're only doing this to please them self... And in the end, the child has to suffer... But be happy that you have your dad... Unlike me, I don't have one... No one to look up too, or tell me what to do... I had to do everything practically on my own... And hey don't be afraid to tell your dad that you don't want to do it... He'll love you no matter what... Even if he doesn't show it...

Answer 8

I think most parents in general just want their children to succeed without having to make the same mistakes that they did. Of course I don't think that they realize that we need to mistakes to be able to succeed.

I have never met my "dad". He is a worthless person whose only pleasure in children was to create them. My grandparents raised his first two kids and him and my mom got divorced when I was eight-months-old because he was cheating on her. Be glad your dad cares even if it is a little misplaced in your mind.

Try to compromise on what you study. See if you take some of the classes he wants if you can take some of the classes you want. That way you can see which you really like better. You never know, he might know you better than you think.

Answer 9

you need to not discount the fact that MOST of what you are going through NOW...we've gone through already...my question to you....if there is a road with 1000 potholes WHY DO YOU INSIST...ON LEARNING THE HARD WAY...when I can actually get you WHERE you want to go IN THE CAREER that you want..WITHOUT purposely stepping in these holes???? we fell into these holes claiming our independance from our own fathers...funny..didn't work for us either...we try to do our best to keep you from failing...we can't avoid this...but it pains us to watch you make STUPID decisions when we knew the answers...WHY NOT LEAN ON US..JUST A LITTLE BIT? we're pretty much the ace up the sleeve...but it is as if you play the game...and forget you have us to work with...

Answer 10

That sucks.. not being able to do what you want.

My dad on the other hand wants me to go for what I want.