I am having a hard time in this long distance relationship. The women I had known for one and a half years had been cheating on me from what she told me about 3-4 times since we meet. Now she tells me she thinks she is going to have a child. When I tried to brakeup with her she started crying so hard and wanting me to forgive her. I told her I could feel she was not being faithful, but still I stayed even knew in my heart that someday she might have a kid that is not mine. I am the only one who she tells everything to including how many times she made love. Not even her own family knows. I had told her that I might accept the child and giving her a chance to regain my trust. She is willing to do what I say and even said she will wait 3 years if she had to for me to come around. It made her feel a bit better that I said I still love her. I must be stupid or really love her to give her so many chances. What you think? Am I hopeless? Any faithful women looking for a nice God fearing guy?
2006-06-27 20:02:20 · 9 answers · asked by Less known 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
When I asked her if she still wanted to be with me she said yes. She sounded happy that I am still thinking about staying with her. She sounded so excided and told me she will work harder to stay faithful. I fought with her over the phone for about two hours. She stopped crying when I told her that I will give her the chance to regain my trust and told her that I loved her no matter what she did wrong. I also told her that it will be very hard and she told me she will try to work so hard. I just don't know if I want to accpet the child all I know is I love the women. I see it as that child would be a part of the package if I am to stay with her. I don't know what to do. I told her I did dream of having my own family someday. I did not want a child that was mine that is a long story I don't wish to tell. Anyways she seems much happier when she knows that I will always be there for her. I must be crazy. I know I am happier when she is with me even if she makes mistakes now and then.
2006-06-27 20:19:13 · update #1
i do not think you are stupid at all, you must really love her I mean real, true, deep love to forgive her for that. since she cried so hard and begged your forgiveness, and since you are the only person she opens up to, it means that she does love you. don't think because she cheated she dosn't love you, it has to do with something that you weren't giving her thus she had to look elsewhere. This could be sex, attention, love, support, a million different things to be real. if you really want to work this out then you have to be willing to forgive and forget. you also need to have a serious talk with her about why she cheaated. Just simply ask her why, what was her reasoning. if you want to ensure that she dosn't cheat again then you have to make sure that you are giving her what she needs and fulfilling your part of the relationship deal, but if she cheats again, its over, and there is no hope. I just went through the same thing except im the one who cheated and he said he would forgive me but then he didnt act right read my last question for what happened cuz now he wants me back that im gone. he is B in my question if you want to take a look. Good Luck to you. Hope I helped.
2006-06-27 20:17:28 · answer #1 · answered by sugar_kitty 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well from what you said it seems like you love her or are in love with love. Now from what you said you are still with her and with you saying your last line it makes me wander are you going to leave her for someone else or yourself become un-faithful. Give this girl a chance to show you what she has. Let her show you if she can or cannot be faithful to you. If you love her you will know. you will feel it. If you dont youll know what to do. Only you know how you feel and what you want. I only know that is seems that way but you see inbetween the lines i can only see what you tell me. Now i believe in second chances. If you are a man of God as you say then you believe in forgiveness. Forgive her. Give her another shot. A full shot. Dont bring up the past and dont tell her when she tells you she loves you that you dont know that yet and dont bring up what you have seen before. Look into the futcher and not the past..If you live in the past then you will be blind sighted to the futcher.
2006-06-27 20:13:34 · answer #2 · answered by Correl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ow it will be okay sweety your not a fool just a bit blinded by love tell her you just want to be friends and talk to her she needs you be there for her she needs you. If you want to give it another go do it but put the past in the past tart a new be there for her all of her the bad and the good start a new . Yes there are some faithful women out there not sure about that God fearing part though it will all work out in time Good Luck tell me how it works out!!!!!!!!
2006-06-27 20:13:01 · answer #3 · answered by pinkeypeekaboo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For starters, the fact she told you she cheated is more than most women would do. She could have just lied and said she's pregnant with your child. I give her credit for that, but that is not enough. So as long as she tells you every time she cheats on you, you should stay with her? Hell no! Get a paternity test on the child, and if it's yours, be a father, but don't stay with her, unless you don't mind being sharing her with other guys. She's not a one guy kind of girl. It's time for you to move on. But be there for your child if it's yours. Good Luck!
2006-06-27 20:26:13 · answer #4 · answered by Stranger in a Strangeland 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She just wants you to be there because she knows the father of the child won't be there. You can decide to leave her... This isn't your problem. Don't let her guilt-trip you into the decision. Three years is a long time. How do you know she's not going to leave you again for someone more accessible? I think she's had her chances and you should just let her go.
2006-06-27 20:06:35 · answer #5 · answered by talkwithflowers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like to me that you have a self-esteem issue. If the woman lives far away & is sleeping around & getting pregnant then it doesn't sound like she is very interested in you no matter what she says. I would say that she got caught by getting pregnant & wants some one to fall back on if she can't get what she wants where she is. If you are smart you will leave her alone & move on with your life. You are asking for heartache. It might hurt to go, but it will hurt more to stay. good luck.
2006-06-27 20:08:08 · answer #6 · answered by ev1else 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to tell you this but once a liar always a liar. Way would you want to burden yourself with someone that cannot be truthful. You need to let her go and get on with your life stop feeling sorry for yourself and for her stand up and be a man!
2006-06-27 20:11:31 · answer #7 · answered by Ms Pollyanna 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs a comitement and you are perfect for her game.... LOVE has to come both sides... You may love her but she doesn't love you for sure...up to you .God luck!
2006-06-27 20:12:50 · answer #8 · answered by Pearl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a great guy, let her go, and be free
2006-06-27 20:06:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋