A very long, detailed and complicated question. Serious answers only PLEASE!?

Question

A & B are good friends.
I was with A for 1 n1/2 months, about 3 years ago, we really liked each other, and felt a strong connection, I ended up losing my virginity to him and a short while later we broke up.

Then I started dating B. B was my first true love, and we went out for 2 years. B and I just recently broke up about 3 months ago, however 1 month ago we started talking again, it wasn't working well due to his actions, and so B stepped in.

A and I hung out all last weekend, and we ended up sleeping together again. We talked about how much we liked each other, and how we had love for one another. I told B that I couldn't be with A because of his actions, and that I wanted to continue seeing B, because we have a very strong conection. However now that I've had time to think about it, I am not sure if I want to be with A or B. I want to take some time with B to think about it, and explore what he has to offer me.

What will follow below is a letter that I want to give to A this weekend when we are supposed to hang out. My questions are:

Should I give him the letter?

If So:
Is there anything I should add?
When 1st, 2nd, 3rd, or last day?
What would you think if you were B?
What would you do if you were B?

If not:
Why?
What are your suggestions?

I have seriously been contemplating my options over the past few days, and I am not completely sure what I want to do about the situation I am in.

I want you to know that I really like you, and I definitly want to get to know you better. I think that last weekend, although it was so much fun, that we rushed into things a little too fast and that we should back it up and slow it down a little bit. I want you to know that I enjoyed having sex with you very much, however I do not want sex to cloud our judgement.

I also want you to know that I have love for you, but I am not sure that I am in love with you. I think I need a better understanding of who you are as a person right now, and your lifestyle, and I fully intend to do that. I do not want to stop seeing you, and I also want you to keep your options open.

I do not want to end up feeling too comfortable in this situation, nor do I want you to get the wrong idea and think that I am using you or anything of the sort.

I really have true feelings for you, and you are in my heart. I believe that we have a very strong connection, and from what I know and have seen so far, I think that we could have a very good future.

However I do not want to mislead you, I have not let go completely of B. He also means alot to me and I love him to death. I just want to take a few weeks and explore my thoughts and feelings.

To be completely honest with you I want these next few weeks to give me some insight on whether I want to pursue a relationship with you or B.

I am telling you right now with sincere honesty that during the time that I am seeing you (if you decide you want to continue seeing me,) I am not going to pursue a relationship with B.

We have been broken up for 3 months now, and I am considering this either a full or part time break (of which I am unsure thus this letter.) While I am seeing you, I will be involved with you, and only you. I will not be seeing anyone else...

or sleeping with anyone else, including B.

To make this clear, I am not asking you to stop your life as a single man, I only ask that when we are together (around each other) you treat me like I treat you, like we are involved, and with mutual honesty and respect for one another. I don't see you having a problem doing that but this letter may change your thoughts and feelings on this situation and me.

I am writing this because I do not want to hurt you, and I want you to know where I'm coming from and what has been going on in my mind. Also to give you the chance to back out and change your mind now if you don't like the circumstances that this situation will place you in if you decide to keep seeing me.

I appreciate that you took the time to read all that, and i appreciate all answers that are truly intended to help me in this stressful situation. Thank You.

2ND PARAGRAPH LAST SENTENCE:
A STEPPED IN NOT B

SORRY GUYS! :(

Answer 1

First off I want to compliment you on putting
so much thought into a complex situation.
Obvious that you have considerably strong
feelings for both guys.

From what I read it seems like you are leaning
more to A, and are hoping that he has similar
affection for you. And since you "love B to death"
you are having uneasy feelings of totally
breaking off relationship with him, especially
since you still don't know if A has mutually
strong feelings for you. But it almost appears
that B is a safety net, in case things don't go
the way you would like with A.

You need to be honest & up front with both guys,
so it would be a good idea to give A
the letter on the 1st day of your weekend
together, before "passions" sway his
decison and possibly cloud his true feelings
for you, cuz some guys will say whatever they
think a girl wants to hear if it means they
get 4 days of "good loving".

Does B know of your recent encounter with A ?
Or are you intentionally keeping him in the dark
until you are finished "exploring" your options
with A ? My guess is, since you still care for B
you haven't clued him in yet cuz you don't want
to hurt his feelings, which is understandable.
But if you were in exclusive relationship with B,
and haven't revealed your possible change of
heart, it's likely you are giving him mixed signals,
which is a bit misleading.

And in your very first sentence you mention that
A and B are friends, so that is something else
that could factor in. If they are close friends,
your pending relationship with A is bound to
cause a serious rift between the two of them.
You shouldn't let that be your primary concern,
but kinda cruel for B to get his heart broke and
also lose a friend in the process.

Lots for you to think about for sure.

Good Luck to you.
I just hope things work out for the best
for everyone concerned.

P. S. guess we both like to type with
lots of details LOL

Hope this helps : )

Answer 2

Well as far as B. your letter is really honest and sincere which is the best way to be, maybe just add in there where he will stand and where ya'lls relationship will be if you decide to stay with him. He should appreciate your honesty and the respect you are showing him. Yet part of your letter states that your not sure if your break up with A. is temp. or full, that may through him off a little bit. Other then that he will have no choice but to understand because you have put it down specificly and it is what it is. No holes for an imagination to run with.
Do think hard though about the part where you tell him to consider himself still single.... Could you really deal with him seeing another female while the two of ya'll are seeing eachother and your exploring your option with him. You said you will be staying true to him... you'll only be with him and no one else... Would you not expect the same from him?... or is that like a test he has to pass??... I'm not clear on that point...
I hope this helped.... at least some...

Answer 3

What a multitude. When she comes this time, don't allow her stick with you. It used to be now not your plan for her to come back, so she must have made her possess preparations. Even if she begs, keep corporation. When she's on the town, ensure you're spending plenty of time along with your female friend. Maybe if this different lady sees that you're in a superior dating, she is going to ultimately backtrack. Still, as soon as she is going again residence, do not need any extra touch together with her. Every pleasant factor you do offers her the incorrect proposal. Hope you get out of this!

Answer 4

You need to decide which one u really have that spark with... The one that makes your heart race, your palms sweat, the one u think about most... Make a list of pros and cons of A and B whichever one weighs out more on pros.... There's your answer I wish you the best of luck and honestly wouldn't want to be in your shoes but remember there was a reason it didn't work out the first time.... Whoever treats you the best is the one you should be with..

Answer 5

wow... thanks for the warning... I didn't heed it and got to about the second letter of the first line and went too the bottom.

Try this, Honesty is the best policy and those who you have a relationship with, are not mind readers. Be polite, up front and direct of where you stand regarding any future relationship and what you would want too see it go also how you feel.

Answer 6

i think you are an honest person who is to be respected for that . i think any real man would surely appreciate your honesty,see it as a trait and stick around. be totally honest and true to yourself also but dont totally exclude or give your word on something like not seeing guy a cuz u r not sure .ty 4 being honest though . i think he will appreciate that too

Answer 7

Well you should give the letter to "a"
but i think you should go out with "b" he seems nicer and it seems he realy wants a relationship not just sex.

Answer 8

well... i think you invested more time typing this than thinking about it.
sweetie... you should really do what your HEART says.
**and opening your legs (pardon me) is only going to make you as bad as the guys that think with whats between their legs. all you accomplished with that was confusing yourself more and risking pregnancy. think about it, who do you love? dont you think if you catch something (whether a baby or std) then you change your mind about the guy... what are you to do then??
the descision is solely yours. make it.

Answer 9

i think that you should pick this guy B because he hasn't ever really hurt u untill yall broke up "it doesn't seem" and this A guy seems to jsut use u for a booty call.

Answer 10

I bet A & B are both black so you should dump em both and go for a white guy.