this one is for the adults/parents?

Question

I heard that most people grow up to be like their parents. Is this true? did you grow up to be like your parents? I think I am cuz I already feel myself picking up their bad habits like my dads bad temper and my moms procrastination. any tips on how to avoid this?

Answer 1

This likely held more true in days gone by then today. Until the 70's families sat down for dinner together and spent much more time together and thus children were programmed by their parents continuous example as to what they should be like. While this was not true for all, most children became carbon copies of one parent or the other or a hybrid of the two. This affect was amplified when grandparents or other family members lived together as now sons had granddad's and father's example and the same goes for the girls...

However, today I believe it is more the exception than the rule since the 60's till now as society in North America, England and most recently the former Soviet Union (as well as many others) has encouraged individuality which some may even say is rebellion against becoming like one's parents. In some cases this is a good thing since many parents don't deserve to be copied...

However, we are all shaped to some degree by our upbringing and past and while we may try to fight the traits in our parents (especially the negative ones), we can't help having some of the them...

Answer 2

I think you get some of there bad habits but no I dont think you actually grow up to be like them. My some was never around growing up and my day was an heavy drinker. I am always with my children they are my world and I dont drink.I am not sure if you can avoid the bad habits unless you are always watching for them.

Answer 3

I have turned into my mother. I catch myself saying the things she told me as a kid (i.e. that bird is going to sh*# on that lip) She actually used the word. I'm a bit more polite. I also worry like my mom did/does. And the procrastination thing, I have always done that, but now that I am a mother, I find it easier to do all of my cleaning right away after my children are asleep. Can't ever get anything done when they are awake. Set a schedule for yourself and the kids. Routine and consistency is always best!

Answer 4

It is very natural to be like the people you are with everyday. Although some of the ways you are like your parents are bad, others are probably good. Be aware of the bad habits you are picking up and work on changing them.

Answer 5

We all can become products of our enviroments.
You already are making progress by recognizing your bad habits now it is all up to you to make the changes.
When you feel your temper beginning to kick in recognize it and take a deep breath. When you have a task to do just get it done don't hold off.
You are the only one that holds that power of possible change.

Answer 6

people tend to follow what they learn....as a parent, i felt myself in the beginning doing what my parent's did....the good and the bad. as a first time parent, you have never done this so you make your own rules and incorporate a little of what you know from your parent's. you have to be smart though and pick out the things your parent's did that you may not agree with. my mom for example had some bad things in her parenting skills. i can't blame her, she did the best she could. i though have committed myself to not doing those things. kids don't come with instructions and you do the best you can.

Answer 7

This is very true, and I can give you a lot more examples. The only way to stop this behavior, is to recognize it for what it is and to change the patterns yourself. None of us are perfect, and there is no manual in the proper care for each other and our children. Nor is there a manual that teaches us how to have morals and respect other people. That all starts from within, and it is groomed by our parents when we are young. Interested in those other examples, write me.

Answer 8

I think most people tend to act like their parents. Its just a sub-concious thing. It's the only life you've known, so you naturally assume that's the way to act. My dad and I are almost exactly alike. We have the same sense of humour, the same attitudes, the same quiet rage. As far as I know, there's no way to avoid it, but if you make a concious effort, you may be able to curb these habits after they form.

Answer 9

i ahve picked up many of my mother's habits. the best thing i could offer you is to learn from their mistakes and form their habits. no parent is perfect. i was beaten and abused as ai child. now i am pregnant and for the first time i find myself analyzing what i went through as a child and what i want my daughter to learn. sometimes you can't help picking up your parents nervous habits but you can learn from them and twist them into what you think you want to be like when you become a parent. like for example, i want to be strict but loving, i don't want to abuse or as some may call it damage my child. i want her to know what is right and wrong. and when it is ok to do things and when it isn't. i want to be more patient than my mother was with me. to tell you the truth your parents and their parenting skills are more of a model than you think. you don't tend to realize things liek taht til you are going to have aq child of your own. just go with the flow. don't strees it too much but if yuo don't worry about it at all, then you could end up giving you children the same childhood you ahd. i hope that i have helped you out.

Answer 10

I did and didn't.... My Dad has a heated temper and could find it in a heart beat..... my mom was a cancer patient and the kindest soul you could have ever met....

You have to chose to be you. You have to define who you are and what you want to be... that includes all those "bad" habit we parents teach our kids.

I have 11 kids.... seven that are mine and four step children. I hope they one day turn out kinda like me.... even tempered, slow to anger, steadfast and open minded to the views of others.

You just have to be you.