i've tried everything. i call her every 3 hours and tell her where imat. i put up with her every 10 min call. we argue every freaking month about the same exact thing. this is has been going on for like a year. how do i get her to trust me? she always takes my phone away complaining how i dont answer her calls. AND I DO. i just dont know what to do anymore. HELP.
2006-06-27 17:27:51 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Asian parent's aren't easy to deal with, trust me I know! You have to be understanding. When did your parent's get here? Were they born here? Were you born here? Some parents (Asian and otherwise) have a hard time letting their kids grow up. Be patient and respectful, then they'll think you're more mature and want to trust you more.
2006-06-27 17:31:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Move.
Seriously, to a different city.
If you are a minor, tough luck, she is responsible for what happens to you and she wants you safe. She probably watches the news and freaks out about all the girls that turn up missing and dead in a ditch some where. Or she hears about those internet perverts on Dateline who show up wanting sex with a 14 year old, a cat, and some Cool Whip. Honey it is a scary, scary world, and she knows that.
Try staying home a few nights a week and hanging out with her, don't roll your eyes, she is heartbroken that you are growing up and away from her. Her whole life up until now has been raising you (siblings don't count, you are the one she is freaking out about) and she doesn't know what is going to happen now that you don't need her as much. The more you let her into your life the less she will feel like she has to hang onto you so hard.
Invite your friends over, let her cook, she'll be thrilled, then mention that you all wanted to go somewhere together. She will have met everyone you are with, and might be more calm.
Try getting her involved with a hobby or something. Suggest a new activity for her and her friends to do. Travel maybe, or gambling. Old people love that sort of thing.
Good Luck
2006-06-27 17:43:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a mother myself , I only want the best for my children. It's not my children that I don't trust but the world. I want to protect them - just like I did when they were younger. Love makes you do crazy things! I'm sure your mother loves you wants you to experience every good thing life has to offer. Give her some time - you're only thirteen -- you read the paper and watch the news -- SHE DOES TOO! There are some real jerks out there -- sexual predators, murders, rapist and the likes Try seeing it from your mother's point of view, she loves her baby -- and that baby is "you"!!! If she lets you go and feels that a phone call is protecting you -- come on answer the phone lovingly and with a smile on your face -- she'll feel the love. Respect her, understand where she's coming from .... and then one day, you'll turn into your mom. I hope she's still alive for an apology.
2006-06-27 17:48:48 · answer #3 · answered by sheila ct 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are under 18 -- some mothers will always be overprotective, try to talk to her, if that doesn't work than just keep doing everything right, don't give her a reason not to trust you, then at least you know that you have done everything you could. Over 18 --- Move far far away! Lol
2006-06-27 17:34:06 · answer #4 · answered by me 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may be fighting 5000 years of tradition on this one. It's going to be a tough one.
What's your mother's relationship with her own mother and mother-in-law like? Does she make herself crazy trying to make people who have no intention of being happy, happy? Do you worry about turning into your mother the way she's turning into these people?
There are many parts of this equation you cannot change. Accept those. Accept that there's nothing you can do to make your mother trust you if she doesn't trust you. Accept that there is nothing you can do to make your mother happy if she doesn't want to be happy.
There is only one person on earth you can satisfy, and that is yourself.
Hard truths? You betcha. I'm guessing the fact that she's taking your phone away means you're not old enough to live on your own and pay your own phone bill. That day will come.
It's going to take some time, but today's the day it begins. Today's the day you decide where you are going with your life and how you will take care of yourself and make yourself happy.
You will need to live at home a little longer. To achieve true independence more quickly, you will need to go to college and let your parents pay the dime (if they have it). The good news about being Asian is that you might be able to get them to pay for grad school, too, and grad school is more fun than college!
Instead of reacting against your parents by majoring in philosophy or art when they want you in med school or law school, you are going to come up with something a major that works, and it will be your choice. You are going to outparent your parents.
But for tonight, you are going to download the episode of "This American Life" linked below. You are going to hang on or fast forward to "Act 3" entitled, "Yes, There Is a Baby", and you are going to listen to the story of this sister and brother, and you will say, "I know exactly how they felt." But don't go getting any ideas, now, y'hear?
2006-06-27 18:20:12 · answer #5 · answered by Beckee 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and tell her you want to have a serious conversation with her, not an arguement. Communication is the #1 generation gap between parents and teens. Both of you act like adults on it.
Tell her how you feel, and ask HER what you need to do, so she will loosen up on you, and learn to trust you.
Hopefully she will take you seriously and you can have an agreement.
Keep in mind, that culture plays a huge role. And some parents...whether aisian or not, have HUGE issues just letting thier babies grow up, and grow wings, and leave the nest.
2006-06-27 17:34:03 · answer #6 · answered by momof2kiddos 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would let her know that her constant worry is putting a strain on your relationship. It sounds like you are an adult, and that you have a right to your own space. Let your mom know she did a great job raising a competent daughter..and that she needs to trust you..plain and simple.
Come up with a sort of "schedule" to let her know you will call. Like..maybe every other day. This will perhaps make her feel better..and will let you have a little peace.
2006-06-27 19:46:52 · answer #7 · answered by Toolooroo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you paying your own bills? Such as phone bill, rent/mortgage, foods, light bill, gas bill, insurance, or bringing home a paycheck, pay for your own clothing, own toilette tissure, tooth paste, and I can go on and on. SO, unless you do, you need to give her the respect as she rightful earned. Mothers now a day don't get much respect from their spoil rotten children now a day. They think they can run over their parents and everything should be them! SPOIL BRATS!
2006-06-27 18:05:02 · answer #8 · answered by KaPaul L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well what i would do is get her to sit down for like 10 minutes and tell her how you feel..without yelling any in the conversation and then if she says something then just go on from there..thats what i would do..if this doesnt work then i am sorry and that i tried my best to help you
2006-06-27 17:32:36 · answer #9 · answered by Madison M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had this problem too but its okay all you have to do is have a one-one converstaion make a plan or talk to her about stuff you have to make her trust you give examples like i pick up my cell phone and stuff like that it will help you alot
2006-06-27 17:32:51 · answer #10 · answered by Gaiane t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋