My 1.5 month old infant?

Question

I want to spend more time with my baby, I do everything I can. I take her all the time and get nice smiles from her regularly. However, I can't have her for more than 5 min without her crying. It makes me sad. I really make an effort. I'm wondering if it's normal. My wife breastfeeds and all my daughter seem to want is to be with her. I assume this is normal, but I'd like to hear about others experiences to reassure me. Or maybe I'm doing something wrong?

Answer 1

Do not worry about it as she gets older she will want you more. You are not doing anything wrong. the baby just wants it's mother because that's what they feel safe with..
Be happy that she lets you hold her because my niece did not want to be held at all by my brother.. now she spends 90% of her time with him and cries when he goes to work.

Answer 2

don't worry. I am the mother of two and I understand. This happens alot to dad's when the baby is being breastfed. The baby sees mom as a food source and right now that is comforting.

She will change. It will take time but as she grows and food no longer is the only thing she thinks about, she will stop crying with you.

Make sure you sing to her, read to her (even if it's food labels at the supermarket), rock her, stroke her and definitely bathe her, she will bond with you too. Bath time can be a very special time for baby and dad.

Your sadness is also normal. Your baby is so young and if this is your first, you may be feeling some post baby blues too. My husband cried for two weeks straight after our son was born. He was an emotional wreck. He still gets choked up sometimes and he is a toddler now.

Babies change everything. Absolutely everything. You are doing nothing wrong.

Answer 3

AHHH! You're Daddy, I'm sorry but you're going to be #2 for a while, and well, 1.5 months old cry, a LOT!!! That's normal! You have to remember that the bond between mother and child started in the womb, your baby knows her mother's smell, the sound of her voice and even the way she walks (she feels the rhythm of of her gait), these things are very comforting to her. And believe me you are NOT alone! With our first child, up until my daughter was about 9 months old she would have NOTHING to do with her daddy, I would hold her and she woud be in the greatest of moods and I would need to go do something so I would hand her off to my husband and as soon as he put hands on her she would scream bloody murder and only be comforted when I took her back, it was almost like a comic strip, and would have been very funny if it didn't mean that I was stuck holding her ALL the time, and Dad felt alienated by his own daughter. He has done better with our son, but our son (who is now 14 months old) is still VERY much a Momma's boy, and to this day our daughter prefers my company to my husband's. This is typical for children. Just think back as far as you can when you were a child, when you fell down and hurt your knee who did you want your mom or your dad, MOST (normal) people would say their moms. Also you have to remember at your daughter's age she's not really a social creature yet, you are LUCKY you are getting smiles, her behavior is very primitive, and that means she wants her "needs" taken care of (which means she wants the food source nearby, at that age she has no concept of object permenance, when something is out of sight to her it is GONE). She associates food with your wife, and so it may not be a preferrence to your wife's company as much as she wants to be reassured by knowing the food source is nearby. As she becomes older and her social skills develope she will become more of your "friend" and want to play with you and be with you. I think it's great that you want so badly to be with your baby, that will set up a solid and wonderful relationship for you all in the future. When your little girl is around 6 months old that's when she'll really start wanting to "play" and that's when she will start being more comfortable away from your wife for longer periods of time. By the time she hits 4 she'll be like Mommy who? she'll be Daddy's Little Girl. Give it time, you've got a whole lifetime ahead of you to play with her, the next couple of months she'll basically be mom's (especially with your wife breastfeeding) maybe, if your wife is comfortable with this ask her to pump some of her breastmilk, and let you bottle feed your baby, that was you can share in the bonding experience your wife is currently monopolizing right now (both my children were breastfed, we did the pumping thing with the second child to help my husband feel more involved) and when she starts eating solid foods YOU are the one to feed her that (and only you, not your wife) this way she will learn the food can come from you and your wife, and the GOOD stuff comes from YOU!!! That's what my husband and I did with our second child and the relationship seemed to be TONS better. Good luck, and stick in there, don't take her crying personally!

Answer 4

Don't worry about it. In the first three months your child is like a little eating machine. It is very important for her to form a strong bond with mom, and breastfeeding is really imortant for her physically and emotionally.

That said, my daughter turned on me at about 5 or 6 months old. Daddy is the universe to her now at 18 months. When he is home, she only wants me if she is hungry or sick!

Just continue what you are doing, hold her as long as she is comfortable, change her, help with baths. The more contact she has with you the more comfortable she will feel.

Also, you can have your wife pump some of her milk and feed your daughter with a bottle. I would not suggest doing this until your wife and baby are very comfortable in their breastfeeding routine. My husband began doing this at about 6 weeks.

There are electric pumps that are very expensive, but a good hand held pump works just as well for an occasional bottle.

Don't worry Dad, she'll warm up to you in the coming months. This is completely normal, and what you are feeling is completely normal as well. Be sure to discuss your feelings with Mom. She will probbably know ways you can participate that will bring you and your daughter together as well.

Answer 5

Good for you. This is NORMAL! KEEP TRYING, my husband went through the same thing with our son. He was/still is very needy of me (mom) and did not want any part of anyone else. He had to persist and sometimes the baby cried. Its a good idea to take over when she takes a shower or something cause then mom is not around as a choice and then the baby can't smell the breast milk either. This will also force your wife to take a break and give you a your little one a little time together. IT IS OK if she (baby) cries a little, as long as you are conforting her and being patient it could take some time for her and you to learn to get comfortable with each other. Try finding what she likes, craddling her, upright, bouncing, rocking, one side, sling (mine loved when my hubby carried him in the front carrier around the house), pacifier, swaddling, etc.

it will get better, keep trying and hang in there. Mines now 11 mos and loves being w/ his dad and will let me go out for a few hours and has a good time! It will get better as long as you try.

Answer 6

It sounds normal to me!! You are getting smiles from her, and that's great. Don't worry, before long you will have her calling you "Daddy" and playing with you. She's only a month and a half!! Give her some time and don't rush it. They are only tiny like this once.

If you want some more one on one time, have your wife pump some milk into a bottle for you so you can feed your little girl, too. That way you can bond and make memories. Congrats on the baby, and good luck!!

Answer 7

Hey! that's ok, she's a newborn only 1 month and that is common, of course you're the new dad and wanting to bond, but remember she's been in an inclosure with only the warmth and comfort of the only one she knows Mom. It is common and it happens all the time, she needs to be near what she knows the smell of her mother and of course she also smells the milk from your wife's breast. That's the only comfort she needs right now and knows. Don't think she don't know who her dad is, but you don't have that special white liquid that she smells all the time. She wants to be close to suckle, that's all a newborn wants and does. In time you would get so much of her that you may want to run. All new babies are like this so don't be scared she would eventually want to come to you and play. Give it a couple of months, she would ease off her mom, and eventually venture out to everyone else, but right now she only wants what makes her feel secure..her mama, so be patient new dad everything will be fine. You would get your precious little girl all over you in a little while..

Answer 8

I have a five month old and his dad spends a lot of time with him also. A lot of the times the baby will want me after 5 or 10 minutes with his dad. I think it is because I spend all day with him while his dad works. Dad is at work anywhere from 12 to 14 hours per day. I will say this though when the baby is very tired he loves when his dad rocks him to sleep. Don't worry it will get better.

Answer 9

Many fathers feel a sense of alienation when their wife is exclusively breastfeeding. It is normal to feel that way, when you see what a close bond Mother and baby have.

I have Bresastfed both my kids. What my husband has done from the beginning is spend time with them after they are fed and I know there is no way they are hungry. If a baby is hungry, she will want mama, no substitutes. In the beginning with our first baby, whenever he cried, my husband thought he was hungry....end of story. He felt like there was nothing he could do. Now with our second baby, he realizes that the baby isn't ALWAYS hungry! And he just has to work with her.


One of my husbands favorite things to do with our tiny infants is when they are fussing to lay on his back on the couch, and put the baby laying on her belly on his chest. He pats her butt lightly, and talks really gentle to her. Babies really love the low pitched gentle sounds of their daddys...and they can feel the warmth and hear the heartbeat. My husband was great getting the baby to sleep that way.

As baby gets a little older and more interactive, then games like peek-a-boo, and shaiking noisy toys, and stacking blocks, will be a great time together. Some kids do show a preference for one parent for a few years. But they grow out of it.

Congrats on your new Baby, and I APPLAUD YOU for wanting so badly to be involved in her daily life. You GO daddy!!

Answer 10

Try asking your wife to pump her breast milk when possible and you can feed baby from a bottle. this will help you bond with your baby. It may not work if she doesn't want to take the fake nipple, but it's worth a try. I was lucky because both of my babies started out breastfeeding and then alternating between breast and bottle. Chances are, it could work for you, too.

Also, try to calm yourself before taking your baby in your arms. If you are tense when you pick her up, she can sense it and will become agitated herself. When she starts crying, don't hand her off right away. See if you can rock her or soothe her somehow. Then, if she still cries, give her to your wife.

You can also try singing to her while your wife holds her.

Good luck, and remember...don't take it personally. This will pass!

Answer 11

A lot of babies are fussy until they get to be around 3 months. For some reason that's the magic age when they start smiling a lot and it seems like they're enjoying themselves. Maybe they realize this is where they're going to be for a while (smile). Try to hang in there you're not doing anything wrong.