how do i get rid of all these emotional attachments?

Question

i've been having problems with my bf for the past 2 months. we've been dating for 4 years. it all started from our little stupid argument. it was over something so little. we ignored each other for 3 weeks and finally decided to talk again. but instead of making up...my bf wanted to break up. it broke my heart when he told me this. at the time...all i wanted to do was TRY my best to SAVE the relationship. it's been a month now and nothing seems to improve. i'm an emotional wreck right now. i just wish that i could have the courage to move on and forget about our 4-year relationship. i really don't want to toss away those 4 years. they mean so much to me. i really love him and i just couldn't bring myself to remove all the emotional attachments. i feel so attached to the relationship and to him. what should i do? is it right for me to hold on? am i too clingy? i just wish that i could have the courage to NOT care about him but it's just so hard. thanks for listening.

Answer 1

If a guy can give up a 4-year relationship so easily over something insignificant, it goes to prove he thinks little of this relationship and doesn't treasure you as much as you do. Girl, you just have to move on, no point clinging to something that's not there anymore, time will heal...believe me..

Answer 2

No matter how hard things may seem, it will get better! Take it from someone that dedicated 15 years of her life to someone who I honestly thought was the love of my life and walked away when I could no longer deal with the constant disrespect and not to mention the fact that I was "tired" of always being the one to make amends to put back together what I thought was so right for the both of us!

Always remember that people come into your life for a reason and a season no matter what and although I truly can't tell you the reason, I know that I will always have the wonderful memories even though the bad ones seemed to over-power everything that we shared.

Yes it's hard to walk away especially when you have given your heart and soul but there comes a time when enough is enough and you have to move on. There's nothing worse then being with someone that doesn't respect how your feel nor does it feel good to constantly put effort into something that now seem effortless. Hold you head up high and think about what you need to do for you. Happiness starts within and no one can make you happy they can only add to the happiness that you already have.

Nonetheless, no one can tell you hoe to feel and what to do. When you are truly ready for more fulfillment, then my friend you will do what is best for you.....

I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do, just remember that love not time heals all wounds......

Answer 3

It's hard not have an emotional attatchmet to someone that you's spent a long time with. I know it's hard but it's not like you just gave up you tried to save the relationship but obviously he wasn't interested in doing the same. The best thing is to allow yourself time to feel the pain and whatnot but after a couple of months you need to pick yourself up, be strong, and move ahead. If you don't your going to be miserable for a long time. Maybe this time if for you now. You have no attatchment so maybe you should pursue something you love or ahve been wanting to do. Or take that trip. Whatever it is you owe it to yourself.

Answer 4

I am kinda in the same boat as you. I know what you are going through and I feel your pain. I really dont know what to tell you to do. If he dont want it to work then you cant make him. I am tring to move on and I hope she will come around and see what she is missing. Maybe he will do the same. Try not to talk to him and if he see's you somewhere act like you are very happy without him. If he truly loves you then he will come back but dont wait to long. I would give him a few weeks and if he hasnt came back then I would move on. I am not saying it is right to hold on for him but if you love him like you think you do then it will be worth it. I hope the best for you. Good luck

Answer 5

i imagine you do not comprehend a significant part of criminal interest, the excitement. Burglars get a hurry with the theory that they could be challenged, they don't favor it notwithstanding the buzz is there. significant undesirable men, be they company or violent criminals who're socio/psychopaths usually look efficient and performance little emotional reactions yet they're in straight forward words doing what they're doing for the very very deep emotional reactions they get out of injuring others

Answer 6

my advice to you, tell him how you feel!
if in your four years together you didn't develop some sort of rapport what's the point in having a relationship?
in order for the following things to work out the following must work out

close friendship:
honesty, openness, trust, caring

dating:
honesty, openness, trust, love, caring

marriage:
honesty, openness, trust, integrity, magnanimity, love, caring, sexuality.

Answer 7

whenever a man want to leave a woman he looks out for any least of a problem, life goes on or do you intend to lust which will belittle you showing you are of low self esteem.

Answer 8

try 2 b strong dont let ur heart take control of ur brain.