I just found out, through a DNA test, that i have a 2 year old daughter with a women i used to see. I have been ordered to pay child support, and have been paying it.
I am also married, and have been for 1 year. We have a baby of our own. We both work full time, own our own car, and have clean records.
I want to know what the chances are of getting any custody. The mother of the child doesnt want me to have anything to do with the kid. She says i wont get any custody because i havent been there since she was born, but i didnt know, i just found out a few months ago. Thats not my fault she waited so long to tell me.
Can i get partial custody, where i get her 6 months out of the year, or any custody at all? The mother of the child is unwed, and moves to new houses all the time. She also posts half-naked pictures of her on the internet. Neither me and my wife have anything againt us, and would like the girl to be a part of our family.
2006-06-27 14:00:21 · 11 answers · asked by texasman 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Yes -you can get visitations and maybe partial custody.
See a lawyer.
If you can prove what you say about the INTERNET--the court will look favorably on that.
2006-06-27 14:11:17 · answer #1 · answered by *** The Earth has Hadenough*** 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
A few things...yes its not your fault that she didn't tell you and waiting so long so she can't use that against her.
As far as her being unwed has nothing to do with custory..what if she was married to an abusive ****ole?? Then it would be ok because she's married?? I don't think so. Also, her moving probably doesn't matter much. As far as the pictures...a lot of people have pictures of their kids either naked or partially naked and if they arent depicted in a child porn manor then what's the problem? I mean if she has a picture of the child swimming but doesn't have a shirt on..there's nothing wrong with that. Also, about being on the internet..perhaps it's to share with family who are out of town or friends. Like I said, unless it's a child porn issue...no big deal really.
If you go for custory..you most likely won't get full custody. You'd have to prove that she is an unfit mother..meaning she doesn't feed her child or cloth her child or beats her child (and evidence of this would be needed) or if you found her with crack needles hanging out of her arms passed out on the floor. Unless she is like that..don't count on full custody. As far as partial custody...that would probably mean weekends and like every other holiday. When that child comes of school age having her live with you 6 months then her mother 6 months wouldn't be a good situation for the child esp if you live in two different school districts.
What you need to do is file a petition for visitation so she can't deny you the right to see your daughter. If you want to try for any kind of custody try it. You can only wait and see what happens. I wouldn't hold it against the mother that she isnt married though and that you are. That has nothing to do with the effectiveness of raising her child.. unless she is putting the child in harms way or something...it really has nothing to do with her parenting.
Taking a child from it's mother simply out of spite is wrong. If you're thinking of trying to fight for custody for that alone, that's wrong of you to do. If there is substancial evidence that she is a bad mother and not taking proper care of your daughter that's different..but from the information you've posted it doesn't seem like she is a bad parent. Seems though like you resent her..which is normal you have a two year old daughter you didn't know anything about. Just be careful. You dont want to make things rough on your daughter either. Try to do things in a civil manor and keep the peace..that's what will be best for the child.
2006-06-28 02:08:27 · answer #2 · answered by ktpb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
VISITATION papers need to be filed. I do THINK personally it's very nasty and wrong for a parent mom or dad to not allow the other in the kids life. Also i think it's terrible for a parent to try to keep total control of the kid and take custody. This girl has only had her mom her whole short life it's wrong to just cut that off because you are not with her mom anymore. She will need you both, you both must shallow your guts and harsh words and parent this kid. It is not that great of you to slander her mom for posting nude pics SHE'S A ADULT!. You may have more stable things then her but, she's her mom you should respect that no matter your feelings personally about how she lives. If you kid is feed clothed and not abused her mom is not that awful!. You have a legal right to be a part of the kids life. File for your visits call the kid send b-day gifts and ONLY if the mother is totally neglecting the kid try to get custody. You can file at the court house it cost 150.00 here in OHIO where i live you need no lawyer. I do think it's great you want to be in her life. Personaly i don't think nude pics on the net is enough to proe her unfit. Even if she was a drug user the courts would still allow her supervised visit you can do what you must to see the kid don't try shutting her mom rights out.
2006-06-27 14:25:31 · answer #3 · answered by ally'smom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most courts prefer to place the child with it's mother. However, you indicate that the environment in which she is raising the baby may not be very stable. Document everything you can and consult several lawyers with experience in family court where you live. Usually, the initial consultations are free, and getting a number of opinions will help you decide if it's worth pursuing.
In the meantime, you should be able to go to the courthouse and petition for visitation rights -- you can do that without a lawyer. Ask for a set visitation schedule, and make sure you document anytime the mother does not comply, as it will help you with the custody case. Don't do anything to let the mom know that you are considering applying for custody -- just discuss visitations with her.
You have my respect for wanting to take responsibility for this baby, and your wife does also. I wish you all the best.
2006-06-27 14:12:07 · answer #4 · answered by HearKat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have no problem getting visitation on some extended basis right away. A good divorce attorney could help you, or if you are unable to get a good one, there are numerous opportunities to get Pro Bono help through the ABA. (American Bar.) The mother has acknowledged your status by demanding child support. Without knowing all of the specifics, and just based on the information you provided, it sounds like you have a strong case. The mother doesn't want you involved but needs your financial support?
As for the child, she would definitely benefit from having a stable parent in her life as well as learning what a healthy relationship is like. (Yours and your wife's.) I would pursue this with all diligence!
2006-06-27 14:12:21 · answer #5 · answered by COACH 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even getting joint custody would be difficult, but it would be your best bet. Thats not your fault that you didn't know about her, and she is half yours, so you do have a case. However, as long as her mother is not neglecting her...moving and being unwed does not mean you're a bad mother, and the pictures of herself she posts on the internet arn't proof either. So you won't get full custody of her, but try for joint. Good Luck.
2006-06-27 14:59:12 · answer #6 · answered by AuroraBorealis 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Err, Swater, No, you're wrong - paying child support has nothing at ALL to do with custody.
To the poster: It doesn't seem unreasonable that you'd want to be a part of your child's life. Go to court and petition the court for visitation or partial custody.
2006-06-27 14:20:50 · answer #7 · answered by TellMeMore 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the law states if you pay child support you are en tiled to visitation ,to get custody full at least you'll have to prove the other parent unfit or the child in danger. she's wrong custody is decided by the judge not what she feels or thinks
2006-06-27 14:10:26 · answer #8 · answered by swater 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand you did not know. But i would do joint custody first for the child sake. Remember your a stranger to her. Than once she knows you than go ahead. Just by your writing i know you really have not acept her as you own. For instance you said" would like the girl to be part of our family" she is not a girl she is your child!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-06-27 14:13:01 · answer #9 · answered by jenny21gon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's good that you start seeing your daughter..and tell her you are the father...(.blood will call)(meaning your her father)even though she is young Little by little ..be around her....by fighting for your rights...ask for supervised visitation (supper vised because she does not know you and will be scare of you) but a familiar face will not make her scared....please do your best to be around her and let her know daddy loves her.....i don't know my father and even at the age of 42 i wish i knew my father or at least know how he looks...good luck....fight for your right ...fight for your daughter....
2006-06-27 14:58:12 · answer #10 · answered by gengen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋