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An ugly bloke walks into a bar with a big smile on his face, the barman asks, why the big smile. The ugly bloke says, last night I found this girl tied to a railway line. She had a fantastic body with lovly t. its so I untied her took her home and we had sex all night long. me on her, her on me, doggie all postitions. wow said the barman no wonder your smileing, was she good looking? I dunno he said I never found the head. ha,ha. mark out of 10

2006-06-27 13:50:50 · 35 answers · asked by littlebrother1961 3 in Entertainment & Music Jokes & Riddles

35 answers

Pretty good. I'd rate it an 8. Can't wait to tell it!

2006-06-27 13:56:25 · answer #1 · answered by shellb7088 2 · 1 0

Lovely. A 10.

2006-06-27 13:54:16 · answer #2 · answered by PuppetDog 2 · 0 0

A 6!

http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/

2006-06-27 14:00:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

:-0

Good so I give you a 10.

Here my sick joke:

There are these three guys in a desert dying of dehydration. Off in the horizon they see a house and finally manage to struggle to it. The first guy goes up to the door to ask for water. The door is opened by this really old, wart-covered, puss covered, scaly, toothless old woman.

"C-c-c-can I h-h-h-have some w-w-w-water for me and m-my friends?" he asks.

She replied, "I will... if you have sex with me."

The guy pukes all over the woman and runs back to his friends.

"You guys would not believe who answered the door. Some really gross old lady!" he tells them. "She said we could have water if I had sex with her."

"Why didn't you then?" asks he second guy.

"Because she was so ugly, I was sick and couldn't do it!"

"Oh, you are such a wuss. I'll go up to the door," the second guy says.

He goes up to the door and rings the bell. The old hag answers.

"W-w-w-w-w-w-waaaaaa......" He uses all of his will power to not hurl.

"Water? Yes, I have water," she says knowingly. "But you have to have sex with me."

"AAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!"

He runs back to his friends and before he could say a word, the third guy goes to the door and rings the bell.

"What do you want for some water?"

"You have to have sex with me."

Knowing that if he doesn't do something, he and his friends will all die. So he follows the lady into her kitchen.

"Do me here," she told him.

He sees 3 ears of corn on the counter and gets an idea.

"Lay back and close your eyes. And keep them closed!"

The witch lays back and spreads her legs. The guy nearly pukes after seeing this. He picks up an ear of corn and screws her with it. Finally she is finished. He throws the corn out the window.

"Oh, God. That was the best orgasm of my life. If you do that again I will give you a million dollars."

"Then lay back and close your eyes again."

This she does and he does her with the second ear of corn until she is satisfied. Then he throws it out the window. This time she doesn't even open her eyes.

"If you do that again, I will give you a Jeep so you can get out of the desert."

"Eyes closed," he says.

Then he does her with the last piece of corn. He brings her to multiple orgasms.

"Ohhhhhhhhh........ The water, money and Jeep are outside," she says as she squirms in ecstasy.

So he runs like hell outside and grabs the water and money and jumps into the Jeep. He wonders where his friends are and drives around to find them. He finds them by the window.

One of the guys says to him, "Hey, man. I hope you had fun. We just ate the three best pieces of buttered corn you could have imagined!"

2006-06-27 15:51:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Awesome. I'd give it a 10.

<3,

2006-06-27 13:58:04 · answer #5 · answered by sxenerdx <3s her sweet baby 6 · 0 0

funny 10 all the way

2006-06-27 14:46:17 · answer #6 · answered by cashdog137 3 · 0 0

I GIVE u a 7 it was funny

2006-06-27 14:49:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I already heard it and read it it was in a book 1001 dirtiest jokes. but nice try and yes I do read.

2006-06-27 13:56:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

funny and sick at the same time. i give it a 7

2006-06-27 13:53:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

that is such a Quagmire thing to do
gotta love the Family Guy
GIGITY!

2006-06-27 13:52:29 · answer #10 · answered by Davey 5 · 0 0

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