help me!!
i ment a women on a on line a dating service. i was bored so i sigend up. we are deeply in love with each other and all i've done is lie to her about: my real name, that i'm married with kids too. at some point i know something will happend and she'll find it all out. she's such a good person and the coward thing to do would be to email her ...tell and run...the right thing would be to tell her in person. i can't imagine the hurt , and pain this will cause her ..much less my wife if she decides to find her and tell her too. this is unreal a bad soap opera i've created..don't ever do this to anyone.
i just don't know how to approach her on the subject. 4 big ones here: 1. my real name. 2. family situation. 3 where i really work 4. where i really live. i know there's no way she'd want to see me if i tell her the truth.
i'm hopeing for some good answers
2006-06-27 13:08:42 · 19 answers · asked by dave a 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you never mentioned hurting your wife, be a man and tell the truth to both, get a divorce so your wife can have a better life that does not involve you.
2006-06-27 13:13:16 · answer #1 · answered by *Kali* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you have the first step down. You know that its wrong. Internet stuff may feel innocent while it's happening until it gets serious and you start talking on the phone and then you want to met and next thing you know Your telling someone you don't even know that you love them. Yeah I went though that same thing just this past week. But I'm not married; but I do have a relationship. While he was at work. The guy on line drove 5 Hours just to met. Which normally I would never do. Then I realize how serious it is and how it would never work out plus I love the one I'm with Like you I;m just by myself alot and needed someone to talk to. however I don't think you should meet this woman It will only hurt more you just need to come clean with her let her know everything then see what happens. If you have any questions you can email me ambergill500@yahoo.com
2006-06-27 13:27:21 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, how do you fall in love with someone you have never really met? or have you? i think before you go jumping off any boats here... you should know if this woman you fell in love with online really exists???
my friend, a guy, would mess around with people online and tell them these great lies... mostly what people want to hear... get them all involved and interested, and then, tell them he was not what they thought he was... pretty sad, seen it happen many times. he had both guys and girls falling in love with him. mean, but true.
how do you know you are truly in love with this person online? people tell you exactly what you want to hear online... obviously, you told this girl what she wanted to hear, and now the poor thing thinks she is in love with you.
as for what you should do, is tell your wife the truth. you owe her that much. maybe she wont want you after that and you'll be free to do what you please.
and email the person you've been talking too. and if you want to meet up with her, do it and tell her the truth...
sad thing is, this relationship is based on lies and therefor, not real. and if i was her, i wouldnt believe anything from you ever again.
be prepared to lose no matter what, and if something good comes out of it, then you are an extremely lucky man.
oh yeah, and dont cheat... be man enough to say you are unhappy with the way things are going in your relationship, and either fix it or get out. there is no reason why you should be hurting anyone... because everyone involved gets hurt... that includes the children.
2006-06-27 13:21:37 · answer #3 · answered by LiLiTh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really have created a mess here. Im not even going to get in to the fact that you are cheating on your wife...Im sure you know how messed up that is.
How can you be in love with someone that you dotn respect enough to be honest with? It isnt love..it is something that has been able to pass the time while you are bored and unhappy in your marriage.... You dont love this woman you are infatuated with the excitement. I think it is time for you to either fess up or block her from your screen name and sever the contact.
2006-06-27 13:12:30 · answer #4 · answered by geet840 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're lame.
internet relationships, sigh...
you build a fantasy woman in your head as to what this woman is. you don't love her. how could you? you're lying to her about basically everything. How can you give love to someone, but not trust?
Even if it's what you really believe you want, maybe you should look at your kids point of view or even your wife's. would you like to hear the little one have to say, "Daddy's not here anymore because he met some woman on the internet."
Way to be a role model.
To me it sounds like you're bored with your marriage and have become infatuated with this fantasy.
What makes you think this chick's not lying to you, either? Wouldn't it be awesome if you left your life to start a new one, with a porcine, lazy oath of a woman?
2006-06-27 13:13:09 · answer #5 · answered by shainalorenne 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you want to inform her the way you experience about her and that you, will continually be acquaintances including her even notwithstanding she is married. Then ask her if she would help you locate the desirable lady for you to date. I actually have finished this earlier for a chum who had a similar thoughts for me as you try this married lady. Now he's married with a kin and we are nevertheless acquaintances
2016-11-29 20:43:27 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is some mess you created over here.... First question I want to ask is : are you in love with your wife? If so, would you sacrifice the marriage you have with your wife and kids for a woman you have never met and that doesn't even know who you truly are?
I don't want to judge over here because I also had met someone online and to me it was love, in the end I never met him but for the time being I truly felt something for him. Whatever happens I know that one day I will meet him but I will never be able to be with him... Anyhow in my opinion, if you signed up on a dating service it's because the feelings you have for your wife aren't probably that strong anymore, it's for you to figure it out, and you really need to figure that out.. If only for your children's sakes! If you want to pursue something with that online woman, you will need to be honest with her, from a to z...If she really loves you she might accept it, but then again.. hiding so much from someone can f*ck up a lot... You can either meet up with her?? ( maybe she doesn't live too far) or you will need to call her... Like I said, you need to be brutally honest with her.. If you call her, she might hang up on you, or never want to speak to you again.. but you hurt her a lot, it's understandable.. or after a while she may want to speak with you again? You can't expect her to be optimistic about anything after that... I mean imagine if she had done that to you, how would you have reacted? I suggest that you meet her.. not for anything to happen, just to meet her.. remember you're married with kids, you can't go fool around. This is unfair for your kids, your wife and the other woman. You need to straighten up things in your life and FAST! You need to face reality and every bit of it, it's not a joke and I know you know that. If you are ready to separate with your wife then you can also tell that to the other woman... Just if you decide to be with her you can't stay with your wife...Don't let yourself live in such lies and hypocrisy everyone needs to know the truth.. You need to talk to your wife, to the other woman because if you do love her...... Basically, there isn't much I can add to this, you need to straighten your life up! AND NOW!!! telling someone by email or chat that you aren't really who you are isn't a good idea...
The main thing that bothers me in this situation is that you love the other woman and have never met her... Would you end your marriage for this? It's for you to know.
Good Luck with everything, I hope this helps a bit.
2006-06-27 13:32:46 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She doesn't really love you, she loves the man you created for her to love. If your wife loves the real you, then maybe instead of seeing the greener grass on the other side you will spend more time fertilizing your own.
2006-06-27 13:14:05 · answer #8 · answered by swanson1025 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yikes you are in a mess. First off let her know you are married. if she is still interested then tell her the rest in person. You will be coming with alot of baggage. But I do know it is possible to have a lover and a spouse, it does get tricky, but it is possible.
2006-06-27 13:11:54 · answer #9 · answered by redneckgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first if your wife finds out, just consider yourself DEAD. Next, why would you do this. YOu know what goes around, comes around. Next you have to decide who you really want. Just face it , if you started this relation, face it like a man and ended.
2006-06-27 13:12:59 · answer #10 · answered by LostMind 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋