I'm 31 and don't know how to talk to guys/men I'm interested in. How can I be appealing or interesting?

Question

I've never dated. I consider myself attractive. I don't want to seem passive and let the man come to me (cause he never has). I just would like to know how to communicate that I'm interested without seeming too pressed. I think that's the reason why I keep quiet and suffer on the inside, because I don't want to show too much interest and scare them away. The older I get, the less experienced I feel. Although I believe, however, that everything is in God's awesome timing. Therefore I'm not completely hopeless and I trust God.

Answer 1

you have to just keep trusting in God. Tommy Nelson gives a beautiful example in his Song of Solomon study. He says to just keep running the race of life and look around, when you see someone running the same pace as you toward the same goal, start running with them for a lap or two and then consider finishing the rest of the race with them.

I hope this helps

Answer 2

Trust yourself, as well. First, don't worry about being "appealing" so much as being interesting - interesting people are appealing by nature. To be interesting, you need something to say. At 31 you are probably knowledgeable in many areas, have hobbies, and have had various experiences. If you know these men, then perhaps you have friends or acquaintances in common. That is good fodder for conversation, too.

How would you start a conversation with a woman under the same circumstances? Try some of the same tactics. And keep it light. Use something he is wearing as a key ("That is a wonderful shirt - I seldom see a man confident enough to wear yellow."), or perhaps something you overhear in his conversation ("Did I just hear you say that you saw XYZ's latest movie - or read ABC's most recent book? I've been wanting to see/read it - is it as good/bad as the critics say?"). Then be ready to follow through and, above all, be yourself. The conversation may work itself into something or not, but it is a start, and that is what you need. Being coy and flirty is what usually scares them away. So be fresh and natural and confident. Men like confidence in a woman.

Answer 3

I'm not religeous, but it seems God has been letting you down badly, if you are 31 and still haven't dated.
You can correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it said, that "God helps them, that helps themselves". Heck if you help yourself, do you need a God to be there.
Anyway, back to your problem, you need to use some intitiitve, dress a little more feminine, if you have too. If you see a guy that you like, go up to him and smile and say hi.Can you help me, or tell me the time, use any excuse.
Then you can ask his name, and what he is doing here, depending on the scene, if it's in a grocery store, well don't ask that question. But you get the idea, once you start to talk, if he's interested, he'll stick around and chat with you.
All you need is practice. So start doing, it, just go up to some guy and ask him for directions, or the time, anything you can think of.
Time you got out there girl, and have fun with it, pretend you are an actress playing a role. Practice alone at home, and then when you are out, seek out some safer older guy if you like, just to see how it goes.
good luck.

Answer 4

Keep the faith sister! Be yourself and be honest with people. Desperation is a sure turn off but showing you are interested is a turn on. Join a group(church orexercise, book club, bowling) that interests you and single men are. Its a great start and don't think about finding a boyfriend or lover, think about making friends. Some of the deepest and best loves start with friendship! If you meet someone who interests you invite them for coffee or something, preferably not a bar but somewhere relaxed where you can talk and get to know each other. Don't be ashamed to admit you are nervous or shy just be a good listener and honest and you'll be fine. Good Luck and I firmly believe there is someone wonderful out there for you.

Answer 5

Start a conversation by giving a compliment to the man you find interesting. Compliment the way he dress, smell, a certain body part that are attractive to you (nose, eyes, beard, etc.)

If he finds you interesting then he will pay you a compliment and just take it from there. Find out if he is single or involved. If he is not available, then move on, someone else will come along but at least you will have some type of experience approaching a man and talking to him.

They usually don't bite. LOL

Answer 6

Good question,this is totally up to you, first I would say to change your interest in men, if your with a guy in his 20's talk to him like he is older,reach in to him quick.Now starting where your at maybe you like the same kind of guy? With your new interest in guys the talking is available at his cost. Don't push anyone into corners with know how!!!!!! give the person space, give yourself a chance....

Answer 7

you know, the other day i was approached by a woman in the plumbing section of orchard supply, she had some questions about something. it could be as simple as asking a question of someone...then expand the conversation to include your likes and dislikes about what your project involves...maybe something will come of that. then there is always the gym and asking how a certain piece of eqpt works...good luck!

Answer 8

You said a mouthful when you said you Trust God. Just be yourself and be patient. The right one will come along!

Answer 9

Just say hello to me l'm open minded willing to talk about anything. I'm also 31 single and vary good looking.

Answer 10

i am a 54/m/eau claire, wi. i at one time thought i was called to the clergy. anyway, some men are just as shy about showing interest-including me. i don't think you are butt ugly like me-lol, so if you feel froggy, jump! you have not yet reached your prime. you'll someday meet that lucky guy. good luck!