How do I tell my mum I have bulimia?

Question

I'm 14 years old and I've been making myself sick after meals for the past 2 years. Sometimes I starve myself, and then if I have to eat I'll make myself sick. Other times I'll totally pig out and eat family size packs of crisps and huge bars of chocolate etc then make myself sick to get rid of the calories.

I was quite fat when I was 12, my mum always went on about my weight and how fat I was all the time, any time I was going out with my friends she'd comment on how fat I looked in certain clothes. So I started starving myself and making myself sick to lose weight.

Now I'm not fat anymore but I'm terrified of gaining weight and I can't stop what I'm doing.

But I went to the dentist today and he said I have cavities in practically all of my teeth and he asked me if I had an eating disorder - I tried to deny it but he said he could tell because of my teeth. Now I'm scared he'll tell my mum, and even if he doesn't, I'm going to have to explain how I got all the cavities...help!

Answer 1

Sweety I dont want to scare you, but if you dont sort out this problem you will have other things go wrong with your body not just your teeth. (and by the way you need to look after your teeth because you dont want false ones do you).
You know what I am a size 8 which where I live is a very slim size but I have to say certain clothes flatter me and show my figure and other clothes make me look fat even though I am not fat, (you know what i am talking about frumpy clothes with no shape), so there is an art to clothing, we need to try different things on to see what makes us look good. (even models look bad in some clothes).
Now listen to me.....Your mom loves you, explain it to her the same way as you have explained to us here and I am sure she will understand and support you (if you would like to ask me anything or want to talk again, send me an email and I'd like to help and listen :) ).
I remember worrying about weight at your age and I wasnt fat, its normal for a teenager, you are just taking it a bit too far. I have this rule when I get piggy and that is if there are nice things on the table, I just have one! its too harsh not to have any, makes you want it more. (if you have a guilt thing go for a walk and work it off).
I am not an expert in this area, I do know you must get help and I know bulemia is not good for your body, without good food we are like a car with no petrol. Mom and you could do healthy veggie juices and smoothies.
You came on here to get help, seeing you have a problem is the first step to solving it, I know by just reading this that you can get through this.....you are stronger than you think, hugz.

Answer 2

hey, firstly, lets look at the good points about his, i know there may not seem to be any, but there is. I'm glad that even though you're only 14, you still realise what you have. It's more important than probably you even know that you've realised it at an early age. Secondly, i'm also glad that you realise the implications of what you're doing to your body; but you must appreciate that if you don't stop, you could end up at the worst possible stage. This is why its so imortant to tell someone. Tell your mum in a calm, placid sort of way. Keep it simple and try not to make such a confusion about it, coz too much information will confuse anyone in a delicate situation. explain carefully what is happening, and if your feeling strong enough, explain how it all started, and tell her the roots of the problem. Remember, knowing the cause of a problem is half the cure. And i'm sure your mum will be able to help you, in anyway possible; she's your mum and she loves you no-matter what. The sooner the better darlin'.
Keep your chin up,
hope this helps

Answer 3

Is there someone you can trust to speak to first and have them there as a mediator when you tell her? An Aunt, big sister/brother, family friend, close friend of yours?

How horrible of you mom to say you look fat!! But she will regret every minute of it when you tell her what has happened to you as a result of it. You really should start tonight finding a friend that you can trust (if you chose that route). The sooner the better.

But I want you to remember this: YOU have the choice to change yourself!!! You Are Strong!!! You Are Able!!! You Are Beautiful Just Being You!!!

Now is the moment to get off the computer, go to your mom and tell her. You will cry and yell and hurt, but most of all you will start getting better, right now!!!!

Here are some sites about your disorder.

Answer 4

sit your mum down at a good time and say do u remember when i used 2 be fat no matter what she says, say you and my friend made me feel insecure so i became bulemic and i think i need help because now i'm scared 2 gain any weight and u can't get mad because it was partialy your fault you should never make your child feel like that and if u can't say it 2 her face write a note make sure you get it 2 her someway some how and make sure she reads it and leave: oh and dis is a tip 4 u look people say stuff about me all the time just make sure you don't pay them any attention and i understand because i'm about 2 turn 14 too but i just look at them and sometimes say if u don't like how i look don't look at me because i think i'm beautiful and if u don't like it oh well so it's what u think about your self not what others think about u hope u get better and if u ever need more advice e-mail me @ [e-mail]

Answer 5

I'm sure your terrified that your mum will be angry with you and wont understand.
you'll be very surprised.
as a mum myself (and a daughter) i think your mum will be a bit shocked at first, she will know how to help you, she will support you. after all she is your mum and she loves you very much I'm sure.
next time you are chatting, tell her how you feel and maybe ask if she will take you to the doctor.
you need support if your going to stop this, your mum is the best person to start with.
i don't know your mum so i can't say for sure how she will react.
if she is a little angry it will only be her own guilt coming out so don't be afraid.
i can be sure she will be there for you.
best of luck sweetheart, i hope you get all the love and help you need to get you healthy again.
you can do it, be brave x

Answer 6

please go and just tell her...no matter what you think she might do or say! bulimia is really serious, and if you don't get help it could cost you your life..listen I'm terrified of gaining weight too (and I'am14 too), but i still eat like a pig almost EVERYDAY and i never seem to change. But since you've been doing it for 2 years it really hard to break the habit....do you know who else had bulimia... Katherine Mcphee from American Idol and she had it for about 5 years! But with help she over-came it and you can too!!!

Answer 7

You need to be upfront with your mom and tell her. She should realize that this is serious and that you need her support, not her criticism. If your dentist already knows he may say something to your mom. It would be better for you to tell her than her having to hear it from him.

I know that being a teenager is a difficult time....trying to be thin and fit in with what everyone considers to be "hot" or "perfect". I can tell that you have a great personality and are very smart. Just be you and you will come out way ahead of everyone else.

Please tell you mom so that you can get the help you need. I will be thinking of you. Good luck ---and if you need to tt someone, please e-mail me.

Answer 8

Honey, it is very important that you get the help you need. I know it is difficult to tell your mum, but the best way is just to tell her.

If it is too difficult to put into words, then you could try writing her a letter. That way, you have control about how you tell her. then choose the best moment you can, sit her down, and ask her to read it.

Good luck. Sending supportive wishes.

Answer 9

Just talk to her. She wants to know, and she will want to help you. You need to get professional help and mabey medication. You need to do this because even though I'm sure you are strong enough to deal with this on your own, this problem will rob you of so many great experiences that you should have, especially when you are still growing up and should be enjoying life.

Answer 10

I think your mum probably already knows there is something wrong and is as terrified as you to ask you about it. Just sit her down and tell her whats going on, and how you are feeling. Ask her to go with you to your doctor because he/she is the one who will point you both in the right direction for help, remember this is not only your problem but its your mums problem too, you are, after all, her little girl and she will do anything for you. Maybe you would like to speak to your doctor first and he/she can help you tell your mum, but please please tell someone.