We fell madly in love with each other very quickly...about 2 months. We were already talking babies and marriage. She got scared and thought I was "too good" for her. To fuel her insecurity and create a self-fulfilling prophecy she broke up with me and then slept with this other guy as a one time thing. She realized she had made a mistake and then started to initiate contact back with me because she missed me and wanted to get back together. In the process she realized that her single encounter (on the pill) has resulted in a pregnancy with him. She is not promiscuous (actually very picky). We were only apart for 2 weeks. We have done the analysis and there is a 99% chance the child is his. I have to assume 100% at this point. My inclination is to ask the biofather to relinquish all rights, I adopt, and we marry. Am I a fool?
2006-06-27 11:02:51 · 43 answers · asked by Aaron S 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Just to let everyone know. If she were to post on this board, she would say "Run away from her".
2006-06-27 11:39:05 · update #1
i would ask for a DNA test, to see the paternity
if you really love each other, does it really matter?
2006-06-27 11:06:39 · answer #1 · answered by jamie5511 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Actually you are not one honey, but your girl is a perfect example of a fool. If she knew that you two were so madly in love then why the hell would she feel you're too good for her! You should take some time before you forgive her. If you truly want her back marry her, adopt the kid. If not make her you're general friend and find a better woman with enough sense to know that you love her for who she is. And if it was a one night stand, she should know that the pill is not a 100% effective and a latex condom would have done better and saved everyone from heartbreak. Good luck!!!
2006-06-27 11:19:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In a way yes who is to say the next time she is not feeling scared or that you are just "too good for her" that she will do this again. I also hate to be the to tell you this but has this thought run pass your mind. He used her for sex and she felt even worse so she went to you so you would make her feel better about herself then she was going to leave you again but when she found out about the child she know she could not raise it on her own. Look no one meets anyone in two weeks unless they in a bar on night stand and that not picky. Sorry I know you love her. I just would hate to see a nice guy get run over again. look a further into the story if I were you. Like you said you and her's relationship moved fast maybe you didn't know the real her either.
2006-06-27 12:02:18 · answer #3 · answered by tasha 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest with you, I am pretty sure you won't get serious answers here... But I will let you know something... A friend of mine went through the same situation your gf is going through.. She had a great guy and felt he was too good to be true then she met another guy and she liked him, he was more of the bad boy type(the type she likes) and then she realized he wasn't gonna be there for her after they had unprotected sex.. so she went back to her first boyfriend.. and she used him... Why let your gf have her cake and eat it too... Its your decision but if you are a good guy you can do better... Trust me, a child is hard to raise and if that child isn't yours makes it even worse... Plus how could you will live the rest of your life knowing that she was intimate with another man when she supposedly loved you... Don't get into that drama... She messed up and she knows you'll be there... She has you like that...That isn't fair for you... If she does something like that to you in the future, you were warned already... You were only apart for 2 weeks and look at the damage she did? Its lifetime.........
2006-06-27 11:13:35 · answer #4 · answered by voiceofanangell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mmm, well, what you want to do is noble, but it seems foolish to me to want to marry anyone you've only known for 2 months. That's what you said, right? You fell in love and started talking babies and marriage after only 2 months? Maybe i misunderstood.
But pregnant or not, that's a lot to rush in to. Maybe just be there for her and the baby. Why do you have to make it such an all or nothing situation? It's OK to stand by her w/o making a life-long commitment.
By the way, I've known A LOT of girls like her --ultra insecure-- that doesn't mean it's your job to "save" her. It's totally honorable for you to want to help, but she should be responsible for her own actions. This is not a healthy start for a marriage.
2006-06-27 11:47:22 · answer #5 · answered by mamabunny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not a fool, but you are rushing into the situation. Adoption and marriage are not things to rush. Developing a strong, healthy relationship with your girlfriend is the most important thing. Trust and confidence needs to be restored before commitment is made. If this marriage is to last a lifetime then what will a year of dating and building a concrete foundation be in the whole scheme of things?
2006-06-27 11:08:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're not a fool to forgive once. a second chance is fine, but definitely not a third! be sure she really wants to be with you, and that she isn't just turning to you for security now that she's pregnant.
i know a guy who married a girl with issues. she started seeing someone else, got pregnant by this other guy, and then went back to her husband when she found out she was pregnant, because the father of her baby didn't want the responsibility. so her husband forgave her and signed the birth certificate as the father, and pretended it was his kid. almost two years later, they're having trouble and it looks like divorce. and since he signed the birth certificate, he's going to have to pay child support for the rest of his life for a baby that was never his to begin with. it will be a permanent reminder that his wife cheated on him, he took her back, and still lost her in the end.
be very careful. be there for her, be with her if you want, but if i were you, i would avoid making any legal commitments until a couple of years go by, just to be sure she really wants to stay with you.
2006-06-27 11:17:56 · answer #7 · answered by krys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL...YES! You are a fool!!! First of all, she slept with someone else and you guys were only apart for 2 weeks!! If you would have done that there is no way she would have taken you back, so you shouldnt even be CONSIDERING taking her back!! Secondly, good luck getting a guy to give up rights to his child!! Easier said then done!! Most people wont do that! Third....even if he DID give up his rights....she has WAY too much baggage and drama...I say...tell the Bi*ch to leave you alone!! You will find someone better than her....!!
2006-06-27 11:12:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen, I am no angel, but I would not have played you like that. She knew exactly what she was doing. Not premiscuous you say it was only two weeks and i can almost garantee you she thaout something was going to happen with that other guy. He is probably good looking, right. She is playing games, anyway if yuo are broadcasting such an embarasing situation I have a feeling you guys r to young to have a child anyway. She is trickin. She used you as a rebound.
2006-06-27 11:15:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you shoud run, honey. She came back b/c she missed you or because she realized she was pregnant and alone? If you decide to stick around, see how it goes but DO NOT jump into marriage or the adoption right away. There will be another human being, in 9 mos or so, and that needs to be the most important consideration for you both.
2006-06-27 11:08:03 · answer #10 · answered by SJ_Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really love this girl, it shouldn't matter whether the baby is yours or not. However, do not use this against the girl and the baby in the future. Also, think about the situation. Do you think this girl wants to be with you because she's pregnant and that guy doesn't want to be with her or because she really loves you.
It sounds kind of weird that this girl dumps you because she thinks you're too good for her and wants you back as soon as she got pregnant.
2006-06-27 11:11:04 · answer #11 · answered by Mrs Apple 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋